Apr 4 2008 Lindsay Lohan Showing Off Acting Skills (Her Breasts)
Lindsay Lohan has a new strategy for jump-starting her ailing career: desperate nudity! Less than two months after her sad, trashier recreations of Marilyn Monroe's famous nude pictorial, it's been reported that Lohan will again drop trou for a stripping scene in Florence, in which the clearly-rehabilitated actress plays a nymphomaniac waitress. Why will this give her more credibility? A source revealed, "She just wants to remind people she can act and she's worth hiring."
Man, that's right! After I Know Who Killed Me, I totally forgot that Lindsay Lohan is a great actress. Sometimes you just need to see a heavily-freckled tit or two to jog your memory, you know?
Lindsay Lohan to Strip Naked in 'Florence'? [Ace Showbiz]
Nov 28 2007 Mr. Skin Names Top Film Nude Scenes of 2007
At long last, Mr. Skin, the internet's leading authority on how to watch movies like the big pervert in 8th grade--finding and awkwardly discussing movie nude scenes, however sad and brief--has released his annual list of the top twenty naked ladies in film.
Here's the list, but make sure to go check out Mr. Skin's page for incisive observations like: "Lucy Liu affords four different chances for you to be a looky-loo at her lickable nay-nays." What is a looky-loo? One who looks at nay-nays, I'm guessing.
1. Marissa Tomei - Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead2. Keeley Hazell - Cashback
3. Natalie Portman - Hotel Chevalier
4. Christina Ricci - Black Snake Moan
5. Sienna Miller - Factory Girl
6. Roselyn Sanchez - Yellow
7. Malin Ackerman - The Heartbreak Kid
8. Eva Mendes - We Own the Night
9. Lena Headey - 300
10. Stormy Daniels and Nautica Thorne - Knocked Up
11. Alexa Davalos - Feast of Love
12. Chelan Simmons - Good Luck Chuck
13. Wei Tang - Lust, Caution
14. Ashley Judd - Bug
15. Olivia Wilder - Alpha Dog
16. Ana Claudia Talancon - Alone With Her
17. Danielle Harris - Halloween
18. Heather Matarazzo - Hostel: Part II
19. Amber Valetta - The Last Time
20. Lucy Liu - Blood Hunter
Seriously, Heather Matarazzo? From Welcome to the Dollhouse?? Whatever you say, Mr. Skin.
Mr. Skin's Top 20 Movie Nude Scenes of 2007. [Mr. Skin]
Nov 20 2007 Angelina Jolie Sort of Naked in 'Beowulf'
I don't fully understand all the excitement surrounding Angelina Jolie's computer-animated nude scene in Beowulf. Actual pictures and video of her naked, younger, and less preachy already exist, so why the hoopla over an animated version with soulless eyes, an unidentifiable accent, and the "liquid cool" of Capri Sun covering her swimsuit parts?
But if you're interested, a bootlegger has done you the honor, and the full scene is under the cut until authorities remove it.
Continue Reading " Angelina Jolie Sort of Naked in 'Beowulf' "
Nov 7 2007 Winona Ryder Naked in 'Sex and Death 101'
I leave you today with an image and video of a sex scene from Sex and Death 101, at long last providing a brief, sad glance of the side of Winona Ryder's boob and protruding ribcage. It's only even vaguely sexy if your idea of eroticism involves fumbling your thumb into someone's mouth, then ceremonially pulling a sheet over yourselves to show, unquestionably, that you're either having sex or have become a giant, writhing, cartoon ghost.
Prepare to be underwhelmed, under the cut.
Continue Reading " Winona Ryder Naked in 'Sex and Death 101' "
Sep 7 2007 Hotel Chevalier: Good News/Bad News
Wes Anderson's latest, The Darjeeling Limited, has screened at the Venice Film Festival with a short prologue attached to the front called Hotel Chevalier, starring Jason Schwartzman and Natalie Portman.
Good News: The short is being called "the sexiest thing that Anderson has ever done," partially because Natalie Portman is supposedly nude to some degree.
Bad News: There are rumors that the short will only be attached to prints in the UK, leaving Americans scrambling for bootlegged nudity until DVD time.
Worse News: Once the initial excitement fades, finally seeing her naked body will probably only lead to anger and bitterness on my part. Why should such a thing exist if I can never touch it?
Venice Film Festival 2007 diary part four [TimeOut London]
Sep 5 2007 R-Rated Beowulf Trailer
There's a new R-rated trailer to Robert Zemeckis's all-CGI epic, Beowulf, so you can add some much-needed computer-generated blood and breasts to your day. Watching this latest trailer, I think I can safely say that when Zemeckis promised to deliver a photo-realistic CGI world, he meant it. Assuming, that is, that the photos being referred to were photos of old video game cut-scenes.
PS: If you're having a hard time remembering that the main character's name is Beowulf, don't worry. He'll forcefully remind you a few times throughout the trailer.
Beowful Red-Band Trailer [Official Site]
Aug 16 2007 Jessica Biel to Reveal Breasts, Butt
Page Six is reporting that Jessica Biel, who recently teased fans of voluptuous yet athletic women in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, will reveal two of the three female regions males most covet in Powder Blue. A source said Biel "signed a contract that explicitly details the bare minimum fans will see--including shots of her breasts and butt." Apparently there's also some kind of plot with a terminally ill kid and Forest Whitaker, but hopefully that won't detract too much from the glimpse of nipples.
UPDATE: I have fixed my spelling of Jessica Biel in the title, which was previously Bield.
Biel's Going Bare [NY Post]
Mar 21 2007 Natalie Portman Nudity Turns Out Disappointing
When word spread that the Milos Forman film Goya's Ghosts would feature torture scenes of a nude Natalie Portman, the world cheered as we ignored the torture part and concentrated on the idea of seeing her little boobs. The scenes have turned up online, and they're nearly as disappointing as seeing my own nudity (without the tears). First off, while she's technically nude, they've cleverly obscured the parts with the bumps and slits we most look forward to. Secondly, it's apparently just a gaunt body double when you aren't seeing her face. Also, the torture aspect somehow takes something away from the sexuality of the situation. Still though...
More clips with more torture, not much more nudity, here.
