Oct 6 2008 Talking Animals Proven Popular Once Again

Movies remained a popular form of entertainment this last weekend. Here is a listing of how many dollars the five most popular made:

1. Beverly Hills Chihuahua - $29 million, handily beating every movie without CGI talking dogs.

2. Eagle Eye - $17.7 million, which is worse than the talking dog movie.

3. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist - $12 million, way less than the movie where dogs talk.

4. Nights in Rodanthe - $7.4 million, suggesting the stars of this film were probably humans rather than, say, talking dogs.

5. Appaloosa - $5 million? Hey, guys, how about adding some talking dogs to the mix and making some real scratch, know what what I'm sayin'? Or at least a white hot romance between two consenting middle-aged adults, which is also a more profitable formula.

Incidentally, Blindness came in 12th with only $2 million, so I guess the protest worked to keep that one down. As did very bad reviews.

Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Sep 29 2008 The Shia LaBeouf Movie Made More Money Than Other, Non-Shia LaBeouf Movies

The amount of money (in dollars) earned by various films last weekend is as follows:

1. Eagle Eye - Someone asked me what this was about the other day and I told them I think it's Shia LeBeouf reenacting the first half-hour of the The Matrix as a full movie. Now that people have seen it, is that accurate? ($29.2 million)

2. Nights in Rodanthe - $13.6 million. Who knew there was such a market for menoporn? (Answer: lonely mothers.)

3. Lakeview Terrace - $7 million, thought I'm positive it would be making even more if they'd just gone with my title, Samuel L. Jackson's RACIST COP.

4. Fireproof - $6.5 million! The Fireproof Action Squads worked! How does that make you feel?

5. Burn After Reading - Despite a 44% drop to $6.2 million, it's still maintaining a hefty audience lead over actually reading.

Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Sep 5 2008 Richard Gere Still Loves Diane Lane SO HARD (in Japanese)

Here's the Japanese trailer for my new favorite piece of meno-porn (menopause porn, obviously), Nights in Rodanthe. Do you think Japanese subtitles and more hilariously melodramatic exposition are gonna stop Richard Gere from loving Diane Lane, or stop her from saving his heart, which is ironic since he's the heart surgeon? No way in hell, buddy. If anything, the subtitles make him love her MORE. Now you get his professions of clichéd love in FOUR languages: English, Japanese, the International Language of (middle-aged) Love, and the language of your own tearful, deliberate applause. So romantic. So romantic.

Continue Reading " Richard Gere Still Loves Diane Lane SO HARD (in Japanese) "