Nov 9 2009 SNL Reveals the Sexy World of Frankenstein's Monsters

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What happens if you replace all the vampires in Twilight with Frakensteins? As you'll see in this trailer, not all that much, really. Just slightly different body paint:

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May 29 2009 'Yo Teach...!' Clip and Behind-the-Scenes!

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Every group of underachieving, inner-city high schoolers needs a Michelle Pfeiffer, or a Pryzbylewski, or a Steve Harvey to show them that someone cares, that rapping is like funky poetry, and that dice is like math. This fall on NBC, one such group will get theirs in Mark Taylor Jackson, the "wise-cracking mentor of Yo Teach...!"

As this clip and behind-the-scenes featurette demonstrate, the show looks hilarious. And heartwarming:

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Apr 3 2009 The Anti-Leno Revolution Has Begun

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And it will not be televised... in Boston. A lone voice has emerged to protect Massachusetts residents from pre-taped segments about how little trivia people on the street know:

The first great NBC-affiliate battle over the new primetime Jay Leno show is poised to take place in Boston -- the host's hometown.

WHDH-TV, Boston's Peacock affiliate, announced via its website Thursday that it plans to launch an hour-long 10 p.m. newscast in the fall.

That would pre-empt Leno's new, still-untitled 10 p.m. series. NBC swiftly responded, warning WHDH that such a move would make them in breach of their pact with the net -- and that the Peacock wouldn't hesitate to yank the station's affiliation.

Sunbeam chief Ed Ansin, who owns WHDH, told the Boston Globe that he decided to replace Leno with news because "it fundamentally is a better financial plan for us."

"We don't think the Leno show is going to be effective in primetime," Ansin said. "It will be detrimental to our 11 o'clock (newscast). It will be very adverse to our finances."

I salute you, Ed Ansin (who I think we're all imagining as Ed Asner from The Mary Tyler Moore Show). Someone had to stop Jay Leno from driving one of his sweet cars to 10 o'clock--a time when children may still be awake and able to form humor neurons around the concept of giggling at mildly-amusing newspaper clippings. But while you're at it, Ed, could you do something about Carson Daly? Nothing convinces me it's time for bed more than his open shirt and gelled coif.

Boston doesn't want Jay Leno show [Variety]

Jan 15 2009 Stringer Bell Turns to Legitimate 'Office' Work

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Variety has revealed that Michael Scott will have a new enemy on The Office later this season: Idris Elba, marking the second time the series will make audiences shout, "Hey, they were on that Wire show!"

Thesp Idris Elba has been cast on "The Office" as a new rival to Dunder Mifflin regional manager Michael Scott (Steve Carell).

Elba, most recently seen in Guy Ritchie's "Rocknrolla," will appear in six episodes later this season. Details are slim on his plot line, other than he'll play a no-nonsense hire at Dunder Mifflin's corporate office who will throw Michael Scott into turmoil.

Alright, Idris, you've paid off your debt for starring in Obsessed. A half-season part in a funny television sitcom is just enough to make up for being in a Fatal Attraction rip-off that looks like a mid-'90s TV movie. But I'm warning you, next time you get the lead in a derivative, Beyonce-starring erotic thriller, you're going to need like two seasons of 30 Rock to pay that debt.

And in other Office-related news, here's the premise for the new Greg Daniels-produced Amy Poehler sitcom:

The new series, still untitled, will be filmed in the same mockmentary style as "The Office" but will be set in the world of local government. Cameras follow Leslie Knope (Poehler), described as a "mid-level bureaucrat in the Parks and Recreation Department of Pawnee, Indiana."

Sure, I'll watch that.

Jul 8 2008 Hellboy Continues His Television Tour of Duty

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I know it won't affect the quality of the movie, but man, Hellboy is losing some credibility. Ken has pointed out another Hellboy-somehow-meeting-characters-from-random-GE-owned-television-shows clip, this one introducing the evil-fighting demon to the guys from Ghost Hunters. Then I saw that AICN has news that he will also meet characters from The Office, Heroes, and Law & Order. Apparently GE is confusing cross-promotional synergy with giving the impression that Hellboy II involves the character getting sucked into the TV à la Stay Tuned.

But I figure, if GE is going to insert the character into something from every channel they own, I might as well help them out. Here are some ideas for further ill-conceived cross-overs:

CNBC - Hellboy finds himself on Mad Money with Jim Cramer, who chastises Hellboy for not diversifying his portfolio. Hellboy says, "Boo-yah."

Oxygen - Hellboy talks sex with Sue Johanson. She has suggestions for how he could please a woman with his giant stone hand (complete with lewd gestures), and it's typically uncomfortable because you're watching this old Canadian woman discuss fisting.

USA - Hellboy is bored and sort of drunk, so he watches some movie about slutty cheerleaders at 3 in the morning thinking the basic cable station might somehow slip and show some nudity. At the end, he looks at the camera and says, "It's OK to do this every so often." I just need someone to tell me it's OK.

Hallmark Channel - Hellboy meets this old lady who turns out to be an angel or something.

History Channel - Hellboy fights some Nazis. Never mind--that would make too much sense.

Telemundo - Hellboy sits on the couch with me and helps me decipher the mechanics of that horoscope-based dating show with the Hispanic Jenny McCarthy, because, man, I cannot figure that shit out. In a later ad, it's revealed that we watched over an hour of Telemundo soap operas just for the exaggerated cleavage. Again, Hellboy assures me it's not at all pathetic.

Ghost Hunters clip under the cut. The rest are all too imminent.

UPDATE: Josh has pointed out that NBC Universal Creative Services president Vince Manze thinks this is genius.

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Apr 25 2008 Jimmy Fallon to Crack Up Throughout 'Late Night'

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As was rumored over a year ago, NBC insiders are saying Conan's Late Night crown will indeed be placed on the bed-headed hair of Jimmy Fallon, with the guitar-playing comic taking over next February. Why? I have no idea. Personally, I don't really have anything against the guy, but with that said, I've never met anyone under 40 who likes him, or anyone over 40 who knows who he is. What study have they done to show Fallon would be a successful Late Night host? Is there some massive Taxi fanbase I don't know about? An enormous cult following for ruining scenes with laughter? A new measurement of talent based around falsetto Barry Gibb impressions? Color me perplexed.

At least now we have an explanation for NBC's continued tolerance of Last Call with Carson Daly: they needed someone to lower the bar so much that even a guy in a hilarious skintight leather outfit* could step over it.

*As an example of the general apathy/disdain towards Fallon, I was unable to find a single image of his recurring SNL character, Leather Man.

Jimmy Fallon headed for 'Late Night' [Variety]

Mar 7 2008 Seinfeld Making His Own 'Curb'

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After Jerry Seinfeld's departure from his NBC series, years of shamelessly recycling the same jokes he made in 1990 finally culminated with an assaulting campaign for a mediocre animated movie. And I hoped, having seen that Larry David was clearly the talent in the duo, perhaps Seinfeld would again retreat under the shadow of his wife's cookbook, leaving no evidence he had ever emerged save for a faint yellow and black-striped blob permanently burned in my retina.

Unfortunately, it sounds like this might not be the case. According to the always-reputable Page Six, the Bee Movie hawker is in talks with NBC for a new series being described as "just like Curb Your Enthusiasm, but with Jerry, instead of Larry."

Just keep latching on to Larry's talent, Jerry. Maybe, since it's on network TV, those without HBO or DVD players won't notice you riding his coattails like a bicycle. I'd really like to know what L.D. thinks about this.

UPDATE: It turns out Page Six isn't the paragon of journalism I thought it was, and the report is false. Good job debunking, Chaz.

Jerry Seinfeld working on a new show for NBC [Page Six]

Feb 12 2008 NBC Finds New Way To Make TV Stupider

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There is a dilemma right not facing all soulless television executives. Now that reality TV has explored everything from You'll Listen to Whatever Crap We Feed You (American Idol), to You're a F***ing Liar: The Series (Moment of Truth), to My Dad Can Kill Your Dad (I think that's actually what it's called), where do you go from there? NBC, falling quickly behind Fox in terms of depravity entertainment, think they have the answer: comedically boring sports.

The network has confirmed that they have rights to a 10-episode curling competition, Rockstar Curling, in which winners get a shot at competing in the national championship. Curling, like the thing with rocks and brooms that no one seriously watches? That's the one.

"This show is all about the opportunity to expose American viewers to curling," said Colin Campbell, Canadian president of mktgpartners and one of the creators of the show. "We feel there might be some great athletes out there who might develop into good curlers given the chance."

I know what you're thinking. When even the best curlers--whoever they might be--are complete unknowns in the U.S., where does the "Rockstar" aspect come in? I'm glad you asked. NBC hopes to get rumored "closet curlers" Bruce Springsteen or Jon Bon Jovi in on the action, possibly as the host. Whether or not they succeed in this mission, "Wanted Dead or Alive" will forever be tainted by the knowledge that Bon Jovi may have been riding his steel horse to a curling tournament.

Rock stars courted for curling reality show [The Star]

Dec 26 2007 'Knight Rider' Teaser Has Made a Huge Mistake

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This teaser for NBC's attempt at bringing interest to Knight Rider is very short, pointless, and looks like the introduction of a Fear Factor challenge, but it does let you hear Will Arnett's update to the voice of their talking car. Does anyone else think they made him say "Hello, Mike" instead of "Michael" so that we wouldn't think we were watching Arrested Development remade with cars?

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Nov 28 2007 Knight Rider May Be Built Ford Tough

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When I heard the Knight Rider series was being planned for an updated remake, my first worry was if they would alter the natural perfection that spawns from David Hasselhoff driving an sarcastic talking car. Of course, they are.

First came news that Hasselhoff would not be in the driver's seat, which seems equivalent to rewriting the bible without Jesus, but now comes more tragic news: KITT may no longer be a Pontiac Trans Am. According to someone working on the Knight Rider effects team (adding a red light to the front of a car), the new vehicle will be a Ford Mustang.

The only positive I can see in this is if KITT will now be voiced by Toby Keith. At least then this could be watchable in the same self-affirming way that Walker: Texas Ranger is, where you feel good that you aren't someone who actually likes it.

KITT to be Cast as a Ford Mustang in New Knight Rider Series? [Jalopnik]

Jun 8 2007 Jack McCoy Finally Promoted

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After 13 grueling seasons as executive assistant district attorney, Sam Waterston, better known as Jack McCoy, will be promoted to D.A. Though most fans have forgotten the show is still on the air outside of TNT's "Primetime in the Daytime," which seems to run the show non-stop, the promotion will spruce up the lawyer's stagnating resume. A spokesperson was hesitant to comment about how this may change Waterston's part in the show, as the D.A. has tended to serve a smaller role than the executive assistant, but it shouldn't really matter since anyone still watching new episodes of Law & Order is pretty much on auto-pilot at this point.

Though Waterston's presence has long been recognized as the only interesting aspect of the show since the death of Jerry Orbach, L&O has been running off of spin-offs, guest spots, fictionalized accounts of true celebrity crimes, and fading brand loyalty for the last five years anyway. If ER can still pull in ratings,* a little less Waterston sure isn't going to hurt anything in the world of Law & Order.

*ER is seriously still on the air. Can you believe it?

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