Sep 8 2008 'Max Payne' Hates the MPAA, and Vice Versa

This portly, scornful man with a face like a porthole of flesh in a sea of fur is Max Payne director John Moore. He's currently upset, because somehow The Dark Knight getting a PG-13 rating has caused his film to not get a PG-13 rating, because the MPAA is totally gay for Batman:

We’re suffering from what I call Batman blowback. The Motion Picture Association of America gave The Dark Knight a PG-13 rating and basically sucked Warner Bros. cock. I have a serious amount of issues with the MPAA. Did you know it was made up of volunteers? As if that somehow excludes them from some type of wrongdoing. You can’t serve on it if you’re a homosexual or if you didn’t grow up in a shared parenthood home. Go to their website and read their charter about what gives a fair and balanced view for typical parents. We’re still strangled by an association that’s straight out of the House Un-American Activities Committee.

So, as he suggested, I looked at the MPAA website, and, well, John Moore, you couldn't be more wrong:

The latest poll results show that 78% of parents with children under 13 found the ratings to be "very useful" to "fairly useful" in helping them make decisions about what movies their children see.

See? Three-fourths of parents found the only system we have in place to provide any sort of reference of a movie's appropriateness for children to be sort of useful. That's like bread getting a rating of "mostly satisfactory" for use in sandwiches. Not that bad of a score until you realize, wait, what else would possibly be more useful?

John Moore Pissed with Film Ratings Board [Das Gamer, via /Film]

Aug 15 2008 'Punisher' Might Lose Only Thing Keeping it Mildly Watchable

Whether you thought the red-band trailer looked bad-ass or like an embarrassing straight-to-DVD knock-off with none of the usual low-budget gore charm, the overall consensus on Punisher seemed to be that if it does prove itself entertaining, that value will be based solely on the gratuitous, insane violence. I mean, if you take away all the chairs violently shoved in eye-holes, what's left? Answer: a probably awful movie without any chairs violently shoved in eye-holes. But that may be exactly what we'll get, with Lionsgate reportedly pushing for a PG-13 rating:

One of my contacts deep within the bowels of Hollywood and close to the Punisher: War Zone project (source will not be named. Sorry!) told me today that the big fight over the Punisher project is Lionsgate wants a PG-13 cut to be released.

Lionsgate can always say, "This was never intended to be PG-13. We always had an R rating in mind." but I trust Hollywood as far as I can throw it. I'm sure there's some Lionsgate exec thinking this film can do what The Dark Knight has done with a PG-13 rating.

Of course, this is all just rumor for now, but I think it's probably a bad sign that they're reportedly also changing the title from Punisher: War Zone to Punisher: Lazer Tag Adventure.

Lionsgate Wants A PG-13 Punisher: War Zone? [Latino Review]

Aug 6 2008 Smith Wins 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' Rating Appeal by Breaking Silence with Unexpectedly Poignant Speech

Kevin Smith has won an appeal to lower the rating on his raunchy comedy Zack and Miri Make a Porno from NC-17 to an R, allowing anyone under 17 and comfortable with watching sex scenes with their mom or other guardian to do so. Speaking to the Associated Press, Smith explained that the problem wasn't so much the content as that the MPAA board can't discern between eroticism and comedy:

"They felt it was rather sexually graphic. My point is, it was comically graphic. All the sex in the movie with the exception of one scene is very cartoonish, very campy," Smith said. "It wasn't designed to titillate."

The appeals board, a separate panel from the ratings board, viewed the movie Tuesday, and Smith presented his arguments. It was the third time Smith successfully talked his way down to a lower rating: His 1994 debut Clerks initially received an NC-17 rating that was reduced to an R on appeal, while his 2003 film Jersey Girl was reduced to PG-13 after first being rated R.

This should make the film far more commercially viable, and more importantly, now we know that since they couldn't tell Kevin Smith comedy from actual erotica, the ratings board members are probably having sex that relies heavily on dialogue and pop culture references, and likely includes an appearance by Jason Mewes.

Smith wins appeal for R rating on 'Porno' [USA Today]