Nov 16 2009 Let's Pool Our Money and Buy Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
Because the studio in charge of James Bond and part of The Lord of the Rings is now taking bids. From Variety:
MGM's officially for sale.The Lion said Friday afternoon that it could also find a partner or remain a stand-alone company. In a statement, MGM said it was "beginning a process to explore various strategic alternatives including operating as a standalone entity, forming strategic partnerships and evaluating a potential sale of the company."
According to sources close to the company, MGM's investment bankers Moelis & Co. are overseeing the sales process, while current management will remain in place with feature development and production continuing.
My sources from the '30s tell me the sale should be in the "bunch a' buck-olas" range, as "MGM is tops for Technicolor" and has "all you tops starlets," including "the fabulous Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford, and--hubba hubba--Greta Gah-bo!!"
Sep 25 2009 There's Not Enough Money To Buy Hobbits and James Bonds!
In news that could jeopardize our future supplies of James Bond and J.R.R. Tolkien films, MGM reportedly held a conference call with bondholders (something business people do) informing them that, despite the studio's early success of dressing up dogs and dubbing funny voices over them, now they're super broke:
MGM made a desperate plea for money because the studio had missed its numbers and was going to be out of funds very soon. "The implication was that it's teetering on bankruptcy," one source told me. MGM said it needed $20M in short-term cash flow to cover overhead, and an additional $150 million to get through the end of year and continue funding its projects, and to start Peter Jackson's Hobbit.So the bondhholders said to MGM, in essence, that they were going to let the studio go bankrupt and collect their money since they'd be first in line to get paid. But Cooper explained that this would be the worst possible outcome for the creditors and the company. Because if MGM were forced into bankruptcy, then it would lose James Bond and the studio doesn't think it can stay alive without 007.
Strangely, the article makes no mention of how this could affect production of MGM's upcoming Jeeper Creepers 3: The Creeper Walks Among Us. That's still going be OK, right? RIGHT?
Dec 3 2008 Studio Logos: What's the Story?
If you've ever watched the studio logos opening a feature film and wondered, Columbia Pictures Lady: friend or foe?, I've got something for you. Neatorama has put together an informative piece on several of the big Hollywood studio logos, the histories behind them, and their variations throughout the years, laying out the stories behind the MGM lion, the Paramount mountain, and more. Sadly, the Nickelodeon Studios logo was left off the list, so we may never learn the full story behind a clusterfuck of orange shit.
Nov 4 2008 In Times Like These, We Need a 'Three Stooges' Movie
World economies are failing, stock markets are plummeting, bank systems are collapsing in on themselves, and the government is either too corrupt or too inept to do anything about it. So today, on Election Day, I'm going to take this opportunity to get on my soapbox here and say something I think is of dire importance: what this nation--no, this world--needs is modern actors doing impressions of the Three Stooges in a feature-length family comedy. From Variety:
MGM has revived the long-gestating Peter and Bobby Farrelly Three Stooges project."It’s not a biopic. It takes place in present day, and they look, dress and sound exactly like the Stooges," Peter Farrelly told Daily Variety. "When the economy started turning, we felt like the world could use a Stooges slapfest. Bobby and I haven’t done a real physical comedy in a while, and it’s the most exciting thing we could think of now, to have people go to the movie, see some great slapstick fun family humor."
If the doorway to your mind is lodged with the image of a Will Ferrell, a bowl-cutted Ben Stiller, and Jack Black in a bald cap, you probably aren't far off from what we'll get. Well, except for the Jack Black part. Curly, "the most physically gifted member of the trio," will be cast the way all of our most gifted entertainers are found: American Idol-style competition, of course.
Farrelly said that an "American Idol"-like search will be conducted to find Curly, the most physically gifted member of the trio. Auditions will be held in three or four cities and a finalist will be chosen in Los Angeles.
Do you think you have the goods to play Curly? Could an I Watch Stuff reader be the co-star of an ill-fated Three Stooges revival? I would love nothing more. So, to help out any prospective Curlies out there, I've prepared a line-up of what kind of competition you might be facing, noting their strengths and weaknesses. Can you beat these rivals?
Continue Reading " In Times Like These, We Need a 'Three Stooges' Movie "
Aug 22 2008 'Quantum of Solace' Pushed Back a Week
Columbia and MGM have decided to move Quantum of Solace back a week to November 14th, leaving the previous weekend open to party, party, party:
"We saw the film recently in London and Marc Forster, Daniel Craig and the entire team at EON have truly delivered another extraordinary Bond adventure," said Jeff Blake, Chairman of Worldwide Marketing and Distribution for the Columbia Tristar Motion Picture Group. "'Quantum of Solace' is a seamless continuation of the storyline that began with the last film. We believe November 14th is a great date that allows us to play straight through Thanksgiving and right into Christmas. The Bond films have a long history of entertaining audiences in this holiday corridor going back to Goldeneye in 1995. The studio enjoyed tremendous success opening 'Casino Royale' in North America on November 17, 2006, and we believe this decision will give the public a wider opportunity to see the film over the holiday."
Yeah, yeah, say what you want. We all know the real reason you're pushing this back. Yanni's birthday.
Quantum of Solace Moved Back a week [Coming Soon]
Mar 17 2008 'RoboCop' Remake Becomes More Likely
There's an old adage in Hollywood that goes something like this: "When the idea cup runneth dry, repeatedly punch the audience in the stomach until their insides relent, and they regurgitate enough of that sweet, bile-mixed idea juice that you can use it again." At least I assume this wise proverb exists, because otherwise why would my stomach be so sore at the announcement of a RoboCop remake?
From AICN comes this peak at MGM's fall/winter catalog:
MGM will enter its new phase of evolution by focusing on its major movie franchises highlighted by JAMES BOND and PINK PANTHER sequels, THE HOBBIT, THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR 2, THE OUTER LIMITS, ROBOCOP, DEATH WISH and FAME, among others.
Well, at least maybe now they can get rid of all that annoying social commentary from the original that detracted from the testosterone-driven purity of the notion of a "Robo-Cop". A helmeted Vin Diesel shooting some motherf***ers while delivering monotone quips is clearly the better, more relevant vision of cyborg law enforcement.
