Feb 5 2008 Either Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana Wins Weekend
1. Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour - Wait, so are the two worlds the real world and the fictional world of Hannah Montana, finally converging in a post-modern fusion of crappy pop and nepotism? Is this like the Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines thing mixed with Bratz? I don't know how this made $31.1 million, but then again, I'm not a 12-year-old girl or Billy Ray Cyrus.
2. The Eye - $12.4 million, sending a clear message that any Asian movie about pale, eyelinered ghosts will be attended as long as there's someone attractive in it.
3. 27 Dresses - $8.5 million, or about $460k per dress.
4. Meet the Spartans - $7.3 million, paid by largely the same people that will be voting today.
5. Rambo - $7.1 million and countless dead.
Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]
Jan 28 2008 'Meet the Spartans' Wins a Lame Parody of the Weekend Box Office
1. Meet the Spartans - I think we need to sit down and have a serious discussion about how this possibly made $18.7 million this weekend, and I think that discussion should be littered with shallow references to pop culture that might be mistaken for actual jokes.
2. Rambo - Stallone's body count easily bested 27 Dresses' dress count, earning $18.2 million.
3. 27 Dresses - $13.6 million, or almost $504,000 per dress.
4. Cloverfield - With a 68% drop to $12.7 million, it's still alive, but barely.
5. Untraceable - Your parents' combined fear and lack of understanding of this "internet" thing cost them a cumulative $11.2 million, though the mental damages could still rise as they continually ask you, "Could that really happen?"
Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]
Jan 25 2008 'Meet the Spartans' References Pop Culture!
Ha ha! Oh gosh! It's just like that "Deal" show, ha ha--I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing--except it's Spartans playing it! Spartans playing Deal or No Deal!Ha ha! This movie looks hilarious, how it sort of recreates something from recent pop culture memory, except in a slightly altered way! Classic! I hope they also mention Paris Hilton or, like, farts! I know those things!
Meet the Spartans Photo Album [CanMag]
Dec 17 2007 AM Poster Post: 'Meet the Spartans' Sticks it to Movies/Celebrities with Lame References
From the pointless trailer, we knew that Meet the Spartans was set to continue down the same tired path of Scary Movie and Epic Movie, squeezing as many random recent movie and pop culture references together as possible into 90 minutes and hoping someone laughs. But aside from 300, Stomp the Yard, and something about Britney Spears, the trailer provided few examples of just who would be on the receiving end of the comedy skewer. Thankfully, this poster corrects that.
Dane Cook-guy doing a hand gesture? Haha, guilty as charged! Dane Cook does do that! What if Shrek was a baby, and Spider-man was a woman? That might be funny, right? How about if a Spartan mock-raped Paris Hilton, and she has an inexplicable giant mutated hand? Hilarious. And I'm not sure if that's meant to be Sanjaya or a singing Yahoo Serious, but he has big hair, and that's definitely funny. Thank god there's straw laid out for when I shit the ground laughing.
Meet the Spartans Poster [IMPA]
Oct 19 2007 'Meet the Spartans' Trailer Meets Laughlessness
The forcefully humorless parody comedy has come a long way since the Wayans boys and Scary Movie tried to reinvigorate the style. With recent innovations in the lowering of standards, gone is the necessity to parody an entire genre to reach an hour-and-a-half of anti-comedy. As this trailer to Meet the Spartans shows, we've now reached a point where you can simply reenact a single film, and as long as you make enough clumsy references to other movies and pop culture, it just might be mistaken for a legitimate comedy.
Remember that movie Stomp the Yard? Wouldn't it be funny if Spartans from 300 danced like that? Britney Spears shaved her head, so wouldn't it be funny to see a poor imitation of Britney Spears doing the same thing, then being murdered? Isn't any reference to the title of a Ben Stiller movie kind of funny?
Meet the Spartans answers all of these questions, and the answer is always 'no.'
Imagine a movie so bad that you feel apologetic that Kevin Sorbo had to take a role in it, even after however many seasons of Hercules. It seems mythological but here it is, under the cut.
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