Oct 16 2009 'Skank Robbers' Will Actually Be a Movie

Because parody movies are often our best source of ideas for actual movies, Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx have decided to turn Skank Robbers, a spoof trailer the two made for the BET Awards, into a real movie. Foxx apparently confirmed the news this morning on Ryan Seacrest's radio show (thanks for +Guy for tolerating Ryan Seacrest's radio show to hear this), and said shooting will begin in January.

The awards show sketch was based around Lawrence and Foxx's drag, stereotype-reinforcing television alter-egos, Wanda Reid and Sheneneh Jenkins, so this is good news if you were hoping to see those two again. Also good news if you're Jamie Foxx's arch-enemy, and you'd really been hoping he'd go from acclaimed, Oscar-winning performances to a ridiculous Gerard Butler thriller and something called Skank Robbers.

Here, for your enjoyment, is the fake trailer (which is now basically a real trailer):

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Sep 3 2009 Martin Lawrence Returning to House Momma Built

Filling one of those unfortunate, fat-dragless gaps America is left with in the absence of Madea and Norbit films, Martin Lawrence will again be donning his prosthetic fat suit, muumuu, and house for a third Big Momma House:

Fox may be ready for more Momma as the studio has tapped Randi Mayem Singer ("The Tooth Fairy") to pen "Big Momma's House 3."

Logline's under wraps for the second sequel, with New Regency and David Friendly attached to repeat their producing duties from the first two pics.

Singer's credits include "Mrs. Doubtfire."

Good to see they found a writer with fat, elderly, drag-writing experience. You don't want some rookie in there padding the script with too many scenarios where the guy is on a date but also has to keep intermittently running off to another thing where he's the old fat lady.

Let's hope they keep the logline under wraps until the release. I hate going into a Big Momma House already knowing what outlandish excuse is being invented to get Martin Lawrence to put on a fat suit and take over a house.

Aug 31 2009 'Bad Boys 3'!!!

Bad Boys 3!!!:

Columbia Pictures is developing a third installment of the high-octane "Bad Boys" franchise, tapping Peter Craig to pen the screenplay.

The hope is to have a script that would reunite director Michael Bay, producer Jerry Bruckheimer and stars Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. At this point, with the project in the early stages, none has a deal to return.

God, get that deal going! My eyes are already spinning with 360-degree camera spins as my ears ring with anticipatory sassy dialogue and blowing ups!

Jan 3 2008 AM Poster Post: 'College Road Trip' Poster Excitement

Finally, a movie poster really catered to me, featuring all of my favorite things: That's So Raven, Martin reruns, pigs, cars, Donnie Osmond, and overpowering self-loathing that won't stop screaming until I've destroyed myself.

College Road Trip Poster [Official Site]

Nov 19 2007 'College Road Trip' Trailer is So Raven

Taking what I think was as an episode of Who's the Boss? and expanding it to over three times its natural life span would be a tough task for anyone. Most would never attempt such a feat. That is, unless your standards for comedy fall somewhere between playing a modern time traveler, bringing much-needed sassiness to the Dark Ages, and dressing up like a fat woman.

Such is the case of Martin Lawrence, whose latest bout of hammy shouting takes him on a road trip with his daughter (That's So Raven!) to find a college, hence the appropriately descriptive title.

As much as the "I'm an overprotective dad!" comedy falls flat--and it definitely does--I was surprisingly amused by the not-so-subtle comparisons drawn between Raven and a piglet. (Why else is it there?) And with several taser jokes scattered throughout, I was even more surprised that they fought the overwhelming urge for a "Don't tase me, bro" joke. Or at least they're saving that for the full movie.

Take your own hilarious college road trip, under the cut. And thank Kyle for the tip.

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Apr 23 2007 The Language of Crap is Universal

Kazakhstani title: Pig Rides Motorbikes

As further proof that foreigners are just as dumb we are, Wild Hogs grabbed the top spot at the international box office.

See, there's no reason to fear them. Because despite their excess body hair, poor dental hygiene, and belief that cologne can substitute for a shower, ethnic types are just like us. Beneath their swarthy exteriors breathe proud, xenophobic Americans, dying to blow their hard-earned cash on cinematic abortions starring Tim Allen.

We are the world/We are the children...