Jan 28 2009 'Street Fighter' Promo -- Also: Buy This Talisman Thing
Coming Soon has posted a new Japanese promo for Street Fighter that seems to also double as a keychain amulet commercial. If your fierce dedication to the fighting game franchise has somehow created a faint interest in this film, consider this brief montage another shot at disenfranchising yourself enough to stop caring. You'll end up really wanting the talisman they show at the end though--that thing is beautiful as hell.
Jan 21 2009 'Street Fighter' Poster Guy Read That 'Cool Scroll Effect' Tutorial
What are they waiting for on the poster where the Street Fighter characters are literally jumping out of the arcade console to the delighted surprise of a pair of 14-year-old video game players? They have to know that's what we want. Or at least what I want.
Jan 7 2009 'Street Fighter the Chun-Li' Trailer Gets Domestic
Since everyone was loving that Japanese version of the Street Fighter trailer from last week, here's the higher quality English edition from IGN. Now you can truly hear the powerful narration describing the delicate balance between two primary forces in our universe. Good and evil? Light and dark? So you'd think! No, it's beauty and terror. Those two are constantly at odds. The simultaneous existence of both Heidi Klum and Osama bin Laden is all that has kept our world from either plummeting into pure and utter terror or exploding in a makeup-filled rainbow of absolute beauty. That is why we must fight in streets to maintain that fragile equilibrium.
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Jan 5 2009 'Street Fighter' Still Fighting For Us, With Posters
Let's start off the new year the right way: with another Street Fighter poster. If it's street fighting, why is Michael Clarke Duncan so prominently holding a gun? Is the bottom guy Iron Man? Have you ever tried simultaneously jump-kicking and jump-punching someone? Can I use this logo for my multicultural dojo? 2009 is going to be great.
The New Street Fighter Poster [Coming Soon]
Dec 29 2008 Welp, This Is What 'Street Fighter' Looks Like
Are you ready for some intense street fighting action? How about some fairly lame street fighting action of a quality that will have you continually asking when Steven Seagal is going to show up? Because that's what I have for you with the teaser trailer for Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. The voice-over is all Japanese, but I'm pretty sure it's just someone repeatedly saying, "What were you expecting?"
And Bison has a goatee:
Continue Reading " Welp, This Is What 'Street Fighter' Looks Like "
Dec 2 2008 From 'Street Fighter': Chun-Li's Famous Thighs Looking Less Famous
Thanks to Matt for noting that Kotaku has posted the first photograph of Chun-Li's thighs from the new Street Fighter movie. Who are these people kidding? Those are not Chun-Li thighs. As a pre-pubescent at the time of Street Fighter's release, I became intimately, almost disgustingly familiar with Chun-Li's thighs, and these aren't them. Hers are thick, muscular, firm but with an underlying softness. That's why she's good at kicking things. Because of those magical thighs.
I'm willing to forgive some costume alterations, but upper leg diameter is non-negotiable.
Oct 13 2008 Japanese 'Street Fighter' Poster Told You Never to Come Here, Dad!
This is how they're marketing Street Fighter? A petulant youth staring at me like I'm her father who showed up to pick her up from the mall too early, embarrassing her in front of all her friends? That's awful.
Actually, come to think of it, shame might be the best way to sell a movie to much of Japan's male population, so good job, Team Street Fighter.
Japanese Street Fighter Poster [Coming Soon]
May 23 2008 New 'Street Fighter' Shot: Chun-Li Looks Nothing Like You Remember
Why is this being made again? I mean, seriously. I know I've asked the same thing when I heard news of Shrek VI and 4 Fast 4 Furious and other ludicrous and largely-undesirable movies, but that was just me expressing my impotent rage--like how I'll scream "Why, God, WHY?!" when I learn I have a terminal illness, even though I already know the reason why (unhealthy living, various sins). But I really mean it this time. Why? Why would anyone choose to make a Street Fighter movie now?
I can understand the original attempt, which was hurriedly cashing in on the insane popularity of the video game in the early '90s, but surely interest has waned a bit over the last 15 years. Hasn't it? And it isn't like the game has some amazing storyline--I remember it being some people fighting for various reasons, like avenging a death, or proving sumo wrestling is OK--and the above shot (and this previous one) make it pretty apparent they're throwing the character design out the window, so what's left? A few names, the notion of fighting outdoors, a glimmer of nostalgia, and the ever-present shadow of a jump-kicking Jean-Claude Van Damme? What's the point?
I honestly don't know why someone thinks this is a good idea. If we've become so desperate for ideas that we're resorting to old video game franchises, let's at least move on to some we haven't tried yet. An Alvin and the Chipmunks-style Sonic the Hedgehog seems obvious enough. Let's get to it.
Mar 20 2008 'Street Fighter' Finds Final Boss
With the unavailability of Raul Julia, the latest Street Fighter movie attempt has at last found an actor to fill the jackboots once occupied by The Man Who Would Be Gomez Addams. Disturbingly puffy-faced pretty-boy Neal McDonough, heretofore known to me as shirtless screaming blonde guy in Ravenous, is set to portray the villainous M. Bison to Kristin Kreuk's titular heroine in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. As you may recall, McDonough joins an already talent-heavy cast including the jock from American Pie, The Kingpin and a Black Eyed Pea. Look for audiences to whiningly complain McDonough is being f***ing cheap by using the 'Psycho Crusher' move over and over starting sometime next year.
McDonough joins 'Street Fighter' [Hollywood Reporter]
Dec 21 2007 Kristin Kreuk Pretends To Have the Powerful-Yet-Feminine Thighs of Chun-Li
As someone obsessed as a child, and who's recently been playing an embarrassing amount of Street Fighter II at a local bar, I can tell you with certainty that Smallville star Kristin Kreuk is not Chun-Li. Or shouldn't be, at least, despite news of her winning the role in Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li. Sure, she's a cutie, and appears to be at least partially of Asian descent, but that doesn't mean she's right to put on the spiked bracelets and pantyhose of my beloved Spinning-Bird Kicker. I have no real case against her; she's just not right. Better than Lucy Liu, I suppose, but not right.
Kristin Kreuk is Chun-Li in Street Fighter! [Coming Soon]
