Feb 7 2008 Why Val Kilmer is a Bad Car Voice for 'Knight Rider'
Val Kilmer has signed on to replace Will Arnett as the voice of KITT in NBC's veiled Ford Mustang commercial, Knight Rider. Problems with Arnett came about when GMC--whom the Arrested Development star has worked with as the less-literal voice of their trucks--realized he would be schilling Ford products through a weak action plot.
So why is Val Kilmer such a poor replacement? Do you not remember his work in Batman Forever? (It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out how to embed this, so please listen.)
Dreth? Thircuth? Thircuth?!
Val Kilmer voices 'Knight Rider' [Variety]
Dec 26 2007 'Knight Rider' Teaser Has Made a Huge Mistake
This teaser for NBC's attempt at bringing interest to Knight Rider is very short, pointless, and looks like the introduction of a Fear Factor challenge, but it does let you hear Will Arnett's update to the voice of their talking car. Does anyone else think they made him say "Hello, Mike" instead of "Michael" so that we wouldn't think we were watching Arrested Development remade with cars?
Continue Reading " 'Knight Rider' Teaser Has Made a Huge Mistake "
Dec 13 2007 KITT is Officially a Mustang, God-Like
I really didn't think there was any way to make the new Knight Rider any less appealing. A talking, crime-fighting car television show based on a prior talking, crime-fighting car television show that starred David Hasselhoff couldn't sound much worse, let alone when you add the original creator's description of "The Lone Ranger, with a car."
Yet miraculously, though the image of an ugly car and an out-of-touch press release, they may have set an entirely new benchmark for just how far television standards can be pushed in the direction of idiot.
As the original story resumes, the new KITT (Knight Industries Three Thousand) is absolutely the coolest car ever created: its supercomputer capable of hacking almost any system; its weapons systems efficient; and its body -- thanks to its creator's work and nanotechnology -- is capable of actually shifting shape and color. Plus, its artificial intelligence makes it the ideal crime-fighting partner: logical, precise and possessing infinite knowledge.
To summarize, these are the traits to look for when deciding if a car is the absolutely coolest car ever created:
- Powerful, yet flawed, hacking ability. I mean a super-intelligent car is believable, but no car can hack every system.
- Efficient weapons. Wasting bullets is so un-green, man.
- Elements of psychedelia (e.g. changing shapes and color, the ability to play Jefferson Airplane albums.)
- Omniscience. (That only makes sense.)
See video of how an omniscient, absolutely coolest car behaves much like a drunk high schooler, doing donuts in an empty parking lot, right here.
KITT is a Shelby GT500KR Mustang [Jalopnik]
Nov 28 2007 Knight Rider May Be Built Ford Tough
When I heard the Knight Rider series was being planned for an updated remake, my first worry was if they would alter the natural perfection that spawns from David Hasselhoff driving an sarcastic talking car. Of course, they are.
First came news that Hasselhoff would not be in the driver's seat, which seems equivalent to rewriting the bible without Jesus, but now comes more tragic news: KITT may no longer be a Pontiac Trans Am. According to someone working on the Knight Rider effects team (adding a red light to the front of a car), the new vehicle will be a Ford Mustang.
The only positive I can see in this is if KITT will now be voiced by Toby Keith. At least then this could be watchable in the same self-affirming way that Walker: Texas Ranger is, where you feel good that you aren't someone who actually likes it.
KITT to be Cast as a Ford Mustang in New Knight Rider Series? [Jalopnik]
Nov 20 2007 Hoff To Do a Little More Knight Riding
Being a chivalrous gentleman, before I would ever ask for a woman's hand in marriage, I would first go to her father and ask his permission. The act has an old-fashioney charm to it, and invites the father to invent hilarious Meet the Parents-style traps to test my worth for his daughter.
Similarly, before I will ever watch a sequel or re-envisioning of the roles of David Hasselhoff--be they Baywatch, Baywatch Nights, or his work as Boner in Revenge of the Cheerleaders--I expect the full endorsement of the man himself.
So when I heard about NBC making a new Knight Rider--and after I finished doing spit takes--my first thought was does this have the Hoff seal of approval? The answer? You better believe it does. And it's an endorsement in the most mindblowingly Hoff-tastic way possible: a guest appearance! That's right, David Hasselhoff is in talks to appear on the new Knight Rider, starring alongside soap stars Deanna Russo and Justin Bruening.
If this support is half as influential as his endorsement for cheeseburgers, next fall I'll be figuratively eating this show off the floor!
Pair help KITT-start new 'Rider' (Yes, they actually said "KITT-start") [Hollywood Reporter]
Sep 28 2007 Knight Rider: No Hoff, No Thanks
Following the success of Transformers, Variety reports that NBC has plans to try their hand at another intelligent car-based program, remaking '80s classic Knight Rider. Not only does the article claim the series will introduce the idiotic idea of evil rival talking cars to go against KITT, there is no mention of David Hasselhoff reprising his role as Michael Knight. The only way this makes sense is if there will be twenty men playing the role of Knight, which would be roughly equivalent to one Hasselhoff.
For those that don't remember the series, under the cut is the final episode, in which an off-screen KITT selfishly tries to stop Michael Knight from enjoying his cheeseburger.
