Jun 4 2009 'Couple of Dicks' Not Breaking Tracy Morgan Craziness Streak
In the grand tradition of Tracy Morgan doing crazy things on camera, yesterday the comedian was spotted riding a tricycle while dressed as a mobile phone as a pitbull violently pursued. According to Coming Soon, this was not standard, unfounded Tracy Morgan craziness but a scene from A Couple of Dicks, Kevin Smith's upcoming buddy comedy that also stars Bruce Willis as the 30 Rock star's partner.
If it turns out the case the two are trying to crack is "what crazy thing Tracy Morgan will do at the film's climax," I apologize profusely for the spoiler.
Oct 16 2008 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' Retitled for Prude Regions
A month or so ago, Kevin Smith got into some trouble with the MPAA when his posters implied fully-clothed oral sex, leading to a marketing switch that produced a series of stick figure-based ads that proclaimed they had "made a movie so titillating that we can only show you this drawing."
Well, apparently the title has also been deemed too titillating for general audiences, and several media outlets have decided not to run ads because the word "porno" evokes thoughts of pornography, which is not allowed in our society. From the AP:
Among those refusing to carry ads are about 15 newspapers and several TV stations and cable channels, Faber said. Commercials for the film during Los Angeles Dodgers games on Fox Sports were dropped at the team's request after some viewers complained, said Dodgers spokesman Josh Rawitch.One complaint came from a man watching a game in September with his young son, who did not understand a suicide-squeeze bunt the Dodgers tried, Rawitch said.
"He was explaining to his son what a squeeze bunt was. Commercial break, the ad comes on, and the kid asks, `Dad, what does porno mean?'"
Good point. Movie titles (and everything else) should, first and foremost, be concerned with not forcing parents to explain anything that might be slightly uncomfortable. Here are some other titles to avoid, Kevin Smith:
- Zack & Miri Are Growing Hair in Funny Places
- Zack & Miri Have a Frank, Candid Discussion on Drugs
- Zack & Miri Both Still Love You, They're Just Living in Separate Apartments Now
- Zack & Miri Can't Afford to Pay for Your College Anymore. You Know, the Whole Economy Thing.
- Zack & Miri Re-Enact Slavery, the Holocaust, Segregation, and Other Difficult-to-Justify Inequalities
- Zack & Miri Were Accidents
- Zack & Miri Have Too Many Uncles
- Zack & Miri Grandma's Dead
- Zack & Miri Yes, That Noise Is Your Father Sobbing in the Shower
- Zack & Miri Sometimes Babies are Born as Angels
Did I miss any? Make sure to leave them in the comments (marked NSFW, obviously).
Sep 12 2008 'Zack and Miri' Made a Poster so Filthy They Later Made This One to Replace the Initial, Filthy Poster
The MPAA rejected Kevin Smith's first Zack and Miri poster because of the implication that the back of someone's head placed at crotch level necessarily constitutes oral sex (why couldn't it be someone pleasurably tying someone else's shoe?). In response, Smith has made this new poster that's all like, "Fine then, if we can't suggest blowjobs, just take this crude drawing. How about that?" I get that, but is the typeface and lack of Kevin Smith-mention meant to insinuate this is a Woody Allen porno? Because that is one of the least desirable things I can imagine.
'Zack and Miri' Make a Proper American Poster [Cinematical]
Sep 3 2008 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' Trailer is Sort of Funny?
Speaking as someone who can barely tolerate the Kevin Smith catalog, I hate to admit it, but judging by this trailer, Zack and Miri Make a Porno looks pretty palatable, and possibly even funny. In fact, with the heavily Apatowian cast and joke-stylings, I'd barely be able to identify this as a Smith film if it weren't for the expected cameos by Jason Mewes and Clerk. If nothing else, I recommend watching to at least hear The Office's Craig Robinson say "a Star War." It might be lifted from Arrested Development, but it's still got legs.
Oh, and it's not appropriate for your stodgy old workplace.
Continue Reading " 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' Trailer is Sort of Funny? "
Aug 6 2008 Smith Wins 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' Rating Appeal by Breaking Silence with Unexpectedly Poignant Speech
Kevin Smith has won an appeal to lower the rating on his raunchy comedy Zack and Miri Make a Porno from NC-17 to an R, allowing anyone under 17 and comfortable with watching sex scenes with their mom or other guardian to do so. Speaking to the Associated Press, Smith explained that the problem wasn't so much the content as that the MPAA board can't discern between eroticism and comedy:
"They felt it was rather sexually graphic. My point is, it was comically graphic. All the sex in the movie with the exception of one scene is very cartoonish, very campy," Smith said. "It wasn't designed to titillate."The appeals board, a separate panel from the ratings board, viewed the movie Tuesday, and Smith presented his arguments. It was the third time Smith successfully talked his way down to a lower rating: His 1994 debut Clerks initially received an NC-17 rating that was reduced to an R on appeal, while his 2003 film Jersey Girl was reduced to PG-13 after first being rated R.
This should make the film far more commercially viable, and more importantly, now we know that since they couldn't tell Kevin Smith comedy from actual erotica, the ratings board members are probably having sex that relies heavily on dialogue and pop culture references, and likely includes an appearance by Jason Mewes.
Smith wins appeal for R rating on 'Porno' [USA Today]
Mar 5 2008 First Shot from Kevin Smith's 'Zack & Miri Make a Porno'
Above: Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks stare directly into Kevin Smith's gaping vagina of ego, so massive with overuse that it's unable to provide pleasure to anyone but himself. Sorry if that went too far, but the accompanying article tells me they "don't think anything is too risqué for Kevin Smith fans." But is anything too offensively juvenile?
If the title says 'Porno,' will moviegoers say 'no thanks'? [USA Today]
Aug 2 2007 Kevin Smith doesn't take crap
Hate or love his movies, you have to admit Kevin Smith the human being is pretty cool. He was at 2007 Comic-Con doing a panel when a "fan" accosted him at the mic. And this, my friends, is the result. NSFW language and all that.
Jul 12 2007 Ben Affleck Directs, Kevin Smith Swoons
New technology actually allows us to take pictures from inside Kevin Smith's ass
Ben Affleck has spent so much of his career doing shitty movies and getting engaged to annoying Puerto Rican chicks that many people forget that he got his big break as a writer of a movie that won an academy award. And winning an academy award for a movie without retards or nazis is tough (though I guess Will Hunting was supposed to be kind of a savant).
Anyway, the trailer for his directorial debut, Gone Baby, Gone hit the web a few days ago. It stars Ed Harris, Morgan Freeman and overshadowed brothers Casey Affleck and Robert Wahlberg (and I'll eat a dog turd if this motherf***er didn't go by "Bobby" his entire life). The flick's an adaptation of a Dennis Lehane (Mystic River) novel, and Affleck wouldn't be Affleck if it didn't involve some wicked quee-uhs and lose-uhs from Beantown.
Predictably, Kevin Smith loves it. "It’s one of those movies where you watch and you’re like [groan] First time out? He made a better movie than I’ve ever made. That jerk! And he’s easier to look at, richer, I hate him so much! And not many people know this, but he has the anus of an 8-year-old Korean boy."
Okay, maybe I made that last part up. And sadly, I could only find one clip of Affleck on SNL, but it forever redeemed my opinion of him. "So I'm feedin' mah ferret, in the nute, as ah do..."
Jun 21 2007 Kevin Smith Interviews Bruce Willis, Wears 'Jorts'
People are always asking me, 'Kevin, why would you let your 7-year-old daughter be your stylist?' and I always say, 'Look, I could just give her an allowance, but I wanted her to learn the value of hard work.'
Kevin Smith always seems to be at his best when he's not making movies. In this clip, he gets to interview Bruce Willis, asking such gems as, "Do you think if you were from anyplace else [besides Jersey], that you'd be Bruce Willis today?"
That is truly a question for the ages, Mr. Smith. Perhaps if he were from Houston instead, he'd be Stanley Griggs, a nebbish accountant with a hirsute fetish spawned when he was molested by a fur seal during a trip to the gulf. But really, I don't blame Smith for this interview - it's obvious it was edited by some studio suit's ADD-afflicted cousin and probably cuts out anything interesting that they covered. Bummer, 'cause I would kill for another giant spider story.
Jun 6 2007 Kevin Smith Makes Porn 'Comedy'
Is that Joey Lauren Adams? Damn that bitch is annoying.
In an interview with The LA Times, Kevin Smith talks about his latest project, Zack and Miri Make a Porno:
"A bawdy sex comedy with heart," as Smith describes the just-completed script, "Zack and Miri" is about two friends who have managed to trudge into their 30s with a satisfying lack of accomplishment [Vince's note: Shocking subject matter for a Kevin Smith movie, for sure]. But a 15-year high school reunion and dire rent problems spark the novel moneymaking idea of pulling together an amateur porn enterprise. As for where it goes from there, just think of Smith's characteristic sexual verbosity finally coupled with matching imagery.
What can I say, it's not exactly a novel idea, unless if by novel you mean Porno, the Irvine Welsh novel, and I've been disappointed by just about every Kevin Smith movie; but what the hell, I'll bite. I guess I'm stupid like that.
I think it's this clip of him talking about Superman that always give me hope for Kevin Smith movies.
