Oct 22 2008 Bacon Wishes Zac Efron 'Best' for 'Footloose' Remake
Kevin Bacon is a god, capable of both givething and takething away. If you're going to try to remake one of his movies, you're going to want to get his blessing, lest your movie dry up into an arid wasteland incapable of sustaining crops or a $20 million weekend. Good thing he's wished Zac Efron the best on the Footloose remake:
Kevin Bacon has officially given his blessing to Zac Efron over his role in a remake of the classic 1980s film FOOTLOOSE. Efron is to assume the role originally played by Bacon in the new film, which is being directed by Kenny Ortega.I met Zac briefly at an event and we talked, only briefly, but he seemed like a really nice kid," Bacon told Heart FM. "I really do wish him all the best with it."
Bacon then added, "Also, I wish him all the best in being so successful and prolific in mainstream film as to warrant an entire effin' game based around how well-connected you are to so many other famous actors. Yeah, good luck with that you little turd."
Kevin Bacon gives Footloose blessing to Efron [Hollywood News (via /Film)]
Oct 6 2008 Showtime and Bacon Working on John Wilkes Booth Emmy Bait
Kevin Bacon and Showtime are working together to prepare a new cable series about John Wilkes Booth and his brothers. From Variety:
"The Booths" will revolve around actor-brothers Edwin, Junius Brutus Jr. and John Wilkes Booth and their dysfunctional relationship in the years prior to Lincoln's assassination.No writer is yet attached, but Bacon will exec produce for the cabler. Showtime is no stranger to period drama, having aired "The Tudors," among other shows.
John Wilkes Booth eventually became a rabid defender of the South and clashed with his brother Edwin. The three brothers performed together just once, in a New York showing of "Julius Caesar" in 1864.
Booth, of course, shot Lincoln at Ford's Theatre while the President was watching the play "Our American Cousin" on April 14, 1865.
Look, Showtime. I know after HBO's success with John Adams, you guys want an early-American biographical melodrama too, but if you want to really bring home the awards, you can't half-ass it. Here are some suggestions to help you out. You can thank me after the Emmys.
- You already have The Tudors, so don't call this The Booths. Just Booth. Much cooler, and you can say it like Lost.
- The Booth brothers are all actors, so let's get actual actor-brothers to play them--really add another layer to this thing. The Baldwins seem like the obvious choice, but since Kevin Bacon is producing, maybe use the Bacon Brothers? I think there are only two of them though, so the third guy will be have to be CGI. Actually, fuck it, let's just get the Jonas Brothers.
- And could we get Harry Dean Stanton to play Lincoln? Everyone loves that guy.
- When Booth shot Lincoln, he used a derringer. LIKE A WOMAN! In this Showtime version, he should use like a Magnum, or something from Halo.
- In the final episode, it's revealed that John Wilkes Booth and Lincoln are the same person, and that Lincoln was a figment of Booth's imagination, so there's still slavery. For the last shot, the camera pulls back to reveal the entire series was being watched by Shaq in the Miami Heat locker room. An off-camera voice calls to him: "Time to play basketball, Shaq," and Shaq stands up and he's in chains.
- ALTERNATELY...*
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Aug 21 2008 'Frost/Nixon' Trailer Battles 'W' for Best President Impersonation
Here's the trailer to Frost/Nixon, Ron Howard's adaptation of Peter Morgan's play about the battle between the former president and a British talk show host. I recommend it solely because it includes the line, "I will ruin you if it takes the rest of my life," just as I recommend any movie that includes such a line. It's just pulls you right into the film because it's so real. I can't even count the number of times I've said I would ruin someone even if it took until my death, or that someone has promised the same to me. It's getting to the point I need an Excel spreadsheet just to keep track of who I have left to ruin, who is going to ruin me, and who's already died without managing to ruin me (I win). It's exhausting, but such is real life.
Continue Reading " 'Frost/Nixon' Trailer Battles 'W' for Best President Impersonation "
Jan 7 2008 AM Poster Post: 'Air I Breathe Poster' Is So Deep
A butterfly resting on a handgun. Such a jarring combination of beauty and violence; so deep. Nearly as meaningful as a gazelle perched on a nuclear silo, or a breast plopped next to a land mine. Well done, The Air I Breathe, in hiding your convoluted plot of Crash-meets-Next behind the steadfast mask of rap video symbolism.
The Official MySpace page for The Air I Breathe [official site]
Jul 19 2007 Death Sentence Poster
This new poster for Death Sentence, a Comic-Con exclusive, reminds me of:
1. The cover art for Reservoir Dogs.
2. Sin City artwork.
3. The time I was raped by a well hung, well dressed albino.
Jul 13 2007 Death Sentence Trailer: Bacon H8s Skinheads
The trailer for Death Sentence is now online. It appears to involve Kevin Bacon going to war with a gang of skinheads because his son sucks at hockey or something. It's good news if your friends are always throwing white supremacy figures at you during games of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.
The movie also has Aisha Tyler, that chocolate skinned goddess who I used to fantasize about during her days as the host of Talk Soup. Mmm, I can just picture us having a brood of cheerful mulatto children who would sing and dance while I stirred a steaming pot Cream of Wheat on the stove. But perhaps I've just been watching too many newsreels from the 30s.
Jul 12 2007 Posters: Kevin Bacon's Revenge
So here's the poster for Kevin Bacon's latest, Death Sentence. It's based on a book by Brian Garfield, stars Bacon and John Goodman, and is "about a man who witnesses the murder of his oldest son, and goes on an elaborate quest of revenge as a result."
I love revenge movies. Heck, when I started writing for this site, I tried to get them to change the name to "yeahTina.howyoulikemenow.youwhore.com", but I got outvoted.
Jul 11 2007 I'll Have Another Footloose, Extra Gay, Hold the Bacon
I wish I was queer.../so I could get chicks
Seems that someone out there has discovered that 12-year-old girls have plenty of disposable income and love musicals (I discovered that their panties smell nice, but that's neither here nor there...). Since writing new musicals is kind of hard, Paramount decided to remake Footloose, which was, like, kind of a musical.
The regrettably Bacon-free remake will star Zac Efron (High School Musical, Hairspray) and will be directed by Kenny Ortega (like the chili). The 1984 original, of course, told the story of a rebellious newcomer to a town where dancing has been banned.
It reminds me of my hometown. A place where most folks just couldn't understand that inside this masculine adonis in a crotch-stuffed leotard breathes the soul of a dancer!
