May 8 2009 The Strange Case of Dr. Keanu and Mr. Reeves
The Academy is going to have to sort out if a dual-role means a Best Actor nominations or two Supporting Actor nods, because Keanu Reeves has been cast in the lead of a modern adaptation of Jeckyll & Hyde:
Universal is developing a modern retelling of the classic novella "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," with Keanu Reeves attached to star and Justin Haythe, writer of "Revolutionary Road," penning the script.Nicolas Winding Refn is in negotiations to direct the project, titled "Jekyll."
He's going to look so mildly-perturbed as he mutates into his villainous form. "Oh, man, something's happening. [Breathing slightly heavily.] Something... strange... evil..."
Such great casting. Who better to portray the duality of man than Keanu Reeves, a man whose range exists purely in shades of comatose? Hollywood wins again.
Jan 19 2009 Keanu Reeves is a Cowboy Bebopper
THR is reporting Keanu Reeves is attached to play bounty hunter Spike Spiegel, in Fox's live-action adaptation of Cowboy Bebop. This might be considered "bad" news, considering that Reeves is in his mid-40s (the character is 27) and is not a good actor:
wentieth Century Fox is bringing the Japanese anime TV series "Cowboy Bebop" to the big screen, with Keanu Reeves attached to star as a bounty hunter traveling through space in 2071.One of the big titles in anime, "Bebop" is set in a time where "astral gates" make interstellar travel possible. Humanity, decimated by a lunar explosion resulting from a gate accident, spread out across the solar system, as did crime, which gave rise to the use of bounty hunters.
Reeves would play Spike Spiegel, a bounty hunter and former member of a crime syndicate. Spiegel, along with Jet Black, a fellow bounty hunter and former cop, are the two pilots of the spaceship Bebop.
Peter Craig is writing the script.
Oh, well. I guess the conversion of a beloved anime into a cash-grab won't be perfect then. There will be this one flaw--that Keanu Reeves is old and not skilled in his craft--and maybe the CGI corgi's expressions will occasionally look unrealistic, but otherwise this will be the exact film of humans pretending to be cartoon characters that everyone never wanted. It's going to rob The Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas of that title before you can recall the full name of The Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas.
Thanks to all the people who sent this in, and sorry for taking to long to get to it. Don't worry--I still care.
Dec 3 2008 Keanu Reeves Not Doing 'Speed 3', Honestly
In response to the earlier rumor that Fox is looking to prolong the life of the Speed series and bring back Keanu Reeves in the lead, Neo has already spoken to IGN and completely disavowed any knowledge or participation in the project:
[IGN] asked if he had heard about the online chat and he said, "I honestly don't know anything about it."He went on: "I don't know if they are going to make another one, and if they are it won't be with me... honestly!"
Jeez, Keanu, you could at least wait and see what it is they want you to keep at a certain speed to avoid explosion. What if it's something good, like keeping a Star Trek Enterprise going warp 6, or keeping the internet running at 28.8 baud rate over an old phone line that's also hooked up to a bomb. Then you're going to feel stupid.
Don't let this discourage you, Fox. You don't need Keanu Reeves. Speed 3 screams Stephen Baldwin and returns an echo of straight-to-DVD.
Dec 3 2008 Can You Handle MORE 'SPEED'???
AICN is reporting that, despite Sandra Bullock's able handling of an out-of-control boat scenario, vehicular travelers may still not be safe drive at their own pace. Fox is supposedly interesting in making a third chapter of the Speed series, and is considering bringing Keanu Reeves back to the role of Jack Traven. The news makes me hopeful the studio is considering using my script, Speed Through Time, in which Keanu travels at such a high speed that he travels through time, and the Speed premise is used to explain famous historic events. A lot of: "Oh no, I've got to get this ocean liner under control... and it's the Titanic! Ut oh, now I've got to ride this horse at a constant 35mph... and I'm Paul Revere!" I really take the Speed concept to the next level, that next level being Quantum Leap with Keanu Reeves and speed-based terrorism.
Nov 14 2008 'Day the Earth Stood Still' Poster Has These Sweet Jets
Keanu may get the biggest credit, but I think we all know who the star of this film really is. Jets.
Jets: awesome. And keeping the world safe from aliens since the 4th of July attacks of 1996.
Oct 30 2008 Five Minutes of 'Day the Earth Stood Still' Trailer
Here's a five-minute preview for The Day the Earth Stood Still, a remake of the sci-fi classic that takes that quaint shit and knocks it on its ass with so many CGI lasers. This trailer has removed all doubt that this is Keanu Reeves's best intense staring while in a suit performance since Johnny Mnemonic. So intense:
Continue Reading " Five Minutes of 'Day the Earth Stood Still' Trailer "
Aug 8 2008 'Rocky Horror' Remake Spurs Anti-New Rocky Horror/Anti-Keanu Reeves Petition
So you know how MTV is remaking The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and how that's universally regarded as a horrible idea? Well, not everyone is content to sit idly by and let the cult classic become known to a new generation as "that thing where Zac Efron was in drag" (I assume Zac Efron would be involved). Some people are ready to take a stand, and in the laziest way possible: an internet petition. From Stoptheremake.com:
Was anyone asking for this?! I mean the original is no cinematic masterpeice but it has retained a sort of dirty do-it-yourself charm. There are no great special effects, there are cheesy sets and a cheesier script. But thats its charm.And worse yet. They say in this new imagining there will be new songs. Jesus Fucking Christ!!! This abortion will be worse than the usual shit they pour down on our throats.
Oh and The Day The Earth Stood Still remake isn't going to be any better. Not for all the effects in the world or Keanu Reeves playing a robot again. See The Matrix. See Constantine. Really Hollywood stop letting him act please.
Blind rage, irrelevant points, broad insults, an inexplicable attack on Keanu Reeves--even if this petition doesn't work (it probably won't work), at least MTV will know it definitely came from the internet.
Sign the petition here. (Thanks, Jen.)
Jul 15 2008 Keanu Reeves Will Definitely Be Playing Plastic Man, Which is Not an Unsubstaniated Rumor
Hmm. It's a pretty slow news day, and I have to leave shortly to catch a screening of the movie where animated flies save the first moon mission (I'm more excited than you'd think). I need a good crazy rumor to go out on. Maybe some kind of casting for a superhero film that hasn't even been talked about--people love debating the quality of superhero casting. But what? Luke and Owen Wilson cast in a Blue Beetle/Booster Gold movie? Eddie Murphy and smaller Eddie Murphy from Meet Dave cast as Hawkman and the Atom? This guy cast in a Juggernaut film?
Wait, there's an actual rumor that Keanu Reeves will play Plastic Man in an adaptation by the Wachowskis? Let's go with that then. From CHUD:
A reader by the name of Ballack writes in from Berlin (one of my favorite cities in the world!) saying that Joel Silver was on German radio recently talking about Ninja Assassin, the James McTeigue-directed, Wachowski-produced martial arts movie. Ballack claims that Silver also spilled the beans on what the Wachowskis would be directing to follow-up Speed Racer* - Plastic Man.You'll remember that a pre-Matrix Bros W wrote a Plastic Man script, which Ballack claims Silver said would be the basis for this new film. Our scooper also reports that Silver said they want the movie to have a global release at the end of 2009.
And if that's not a big enough story, Ballack further claims that Silver says that Keanu Reeves will be playing Eels O'Brien (the real name of Plastic Man).
Foreign, completely unverifiable source; based around facts that give it some slight connection to reality; will severely piss off fans of Plastic Man---this rumor is so much better than any of mine. And, obviously, completely true.
Jul 7 2008 'Day the Earth Stood Still' Trailer Now Official, Plus: Gort News!
If you missed the quickly-pulled trailer to The Day the Earth Stood Still teaser trailer last week, you're in relative luck! It's now available in several convenient sizes to watch until you can figure out exactly what Keanu Reeves is going for. (Autistic android?)
Now, Gort News: Director Scott Derrickson spoke up about the brief appearance of Gort (above) at the end of the trailer, confirming that it wasn't by some miracle of random chance that the robot so closely resembles the original version. It turns out they tried for that--but only after desperately attempting to ruin the look of one of the most iconic and recognizable robots of all time. From MTV:
“It was intentional,” Derrickson said. “I certainly took a lot of time to explore other possibilities. It wasn’t just a foregone conclusion in my mind that we would be sticking to the original. I tried looking at a lot of different possibilities, worked on a lot of different ideas with artists and just always a nagging sense that there was something right about the way the original, that there was something about this alien entity choosing a human form or being in a human form that had value even by modern standards, not by 1950 standards. I also am such a fan of the original film. You have to also just have some respect for Gort. Gort is Gort. There’s no question what we designed pays homage to the original.”
Of course, he Derrickson note that his idea of "paying homage to the original" means placing the original head of Gort on the body of a 2010 Ford Focus, with the familiar phrase, "Klaatu barada nikto," being replaced by "Stylish, affordable, and at 35 mpg, you can't afford not to stop by your neighborhood Ford dealer!" But at least he's trying.
Jul 3 2008 'Day the Earth Stood Still' Trailer is Incredibly Keanu-y
I've never seen Keanu so Keanu-y. In trying to take on the role of an alien, he's somehow become an exaggerated, even more lifeless version of himself, and it's very, very strange to behold. If standard Keanu was the final boss of a video game, this trailer's Keanu is like the super powerful, insanely difficult version that emerges after you beat the normal one. Keanu but more so, and all without even uttering a "whoa."
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Feb 14 2008 'Street Kings' Poster is Really Street-Arty
Way to go, Street Kings, capitalizing on the same vomiting splash of pseudo-graffiti that Comedy Central tried to exploit a few years back. Street Kings will definitely be the edgiest drag king prostitute movie in years.
Street Kings Poster [IMPA]
Feb 11 2008 'Street Kings' Trailer is 'Straight Nightmare,' Says Common
Here's how to make your very own Street Kings trailer: for every time Keanu Reeves says something ridiculously clichéd and completely predictable ("[Your nickname is] Quicks? Not quick enough," for example), add about ten to twenty shots of guns. Using this simple technique, you'll be surprised how easily you're able to pull together a minute-and-a-half of something that resembles a movie.
Also, Common is no longer allowed to act. Ever.
(Thanks Joe and Kyle)
Continue Reading " 'Street Kings' Trailer is 'Straight Nightmare,' Says Common "
Feb 6 2008 'Night Watchman' Now Titled 'Street Kings'!
Attention! Amend your plans to see the Keanu Reeves cop drama, The Night Watchman! Reportedly out of concern it would be confused with Zack Snyder's Watchmen comic adaptation (personally, I'd be more worried it sounds like a Night at the Museum sequel), the film has been retitled Street Kings. This way people will just think it's a drag king prostitute movie.
Watchman Gets Renamed [/Film]
