May 14 2009 'Nine' Trailer: Some Babes Dancing Around Daniel Day-Lewis

Hey, there's this now: a trailer for Nine. No, not numeral 9, the animated, post-apocalyptic ragdoll film that looks so promising--this is spelled-out Nine, a new film by Chicago director Rob Marshall that, to the untrained eye, looks basically like Chicago with mostly better actors. (To my untrained eye, anything with burlesque musical numbers is some kind of variant of Chicago.)

So here it is, Chicago 2:

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Sep 24 2008 'Bride Wars' Trailer: Like 'Star Wars' but with Brides, and Painful

Well, would you look what Candice Bergen dragged in: the new trailer for Bride Wars, the only film daring enough to ask, "What would happen if two best friends accidentally scheduled their weddings for the same day?" and answer it with, "I don't know, stain each other different colors?" So painful. It's like Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson are two sticks Murphy Brown is clacking in your face.

Continue Reading " 'Bride Wars' Trailer: Like 'Star Wars' but with Brides, and Painful "

Jun 6 2008 'My Best Friend's Girl' Poster Hurts My Eyes, Brain

Lionsgate has sent over the appropriately generic poster to the intensely unlikeable romantic-comedy My Best Friend's Girl. Only I think they made a mistake. Instead of using a photograph of Dane Cook, it appears that they've taken a picture of Matthew Perry, placed it impossibly close to Kate Hudson, and had someone paint their vague recollection of Cook over some of the features. Also, he should be doing a funny hand gesture.

Apr 16 2008 Worst Thing of the Week: 'My Best Friend's Girl' Trailer

You know that hilarious comedy where a loser can't get a girl, so he gets his asshole friend to help him, but then that friend ends up falling for the girl (I think there are several, so you choose which to envision)? It's back, and more annoying than ever thanks to the presence of Dane Cook as said asshole! His character's name is "Tank", he has the non-existant job of taking ex-girlfriends on dates and acting like a douche, and he's otherwise playing himself. Co-starring are Jason Biggs and Kate Hudson, also playing themselves, or at least whatever the repetition of playing the same character has made them. Sounds good, right? So watch the trailer for My Best Friend's Girl, below the cut. (You'll never guess what song it uses.)

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Feb 6 2008 Kate Hudson Joining 'Big Eyes'

America's Second Sweetheart (after Drew Barrymore), Kate Hudson, has signed on to star in Big Eyes, playing the role of Margaret Keane. The painter, famous for her images of Olson-esque waifs with absurdly-large eyes, originally allowed her husband to take credit for her work, eventually leading to a court case over ownership.

I can see this working, actually, so long as they get Matthew McConaughey to play husband Walter Keane. During the trial, the two opposing personalities (Hudson is cute and responsible, McConaughey is a wild slacker) can't stop arguing--or keep their hands off each other's swimsuit-clad bodies! (The trial will take place on a beach or something.) In the end, like in reality, the court finds for Margaret, but to make things more interesting, also nullifies their divorce, sentencing them to "a lifetime of love." Here's some sample dialogue:

Sexy female juror: You know, some people say my eyes are like your paintings.

Matthew McConaughey: You certainly do have some big eyes...

Sexy female juror: Those aren't my eyes you're looking at!

Kate Hudson to star in 'Big Eyes' [Variety]

Jan 9 2008 'Fool's Gold' Promotional Shot Reveals Nothing

It's a really slow news day; my apologies that the best thing I have for you is a promotional shot for the romantic comedy, Fool's Gold (remember that Matthew McComedy?). But I did find it interesting it appears they're suddenly marketing this as an '80s street racing movie, starring Kate Hudson and the draped silhouette of Earth's biggest douchebag.

Strike a Pose [PopSugar]

Nov 21 2007 'Fool's Gold' Trailer Defines a 'McComedy'

When I hear about a new Jim Carrey comedy, Adam Sandler comedy, or Ben Stiller comedy, I know exactly what kind of typically groan-worthy movie I'm in store for. But until this trailer for Fool's Gold, I had no clear vision of what a Matthew McConaughey comedy meant.

As it turns out, a Matthew McConaughey comedy (a McComedy) is like a reality show where Matthew McConaughey stars as his typical rowdy-southern-dude self while the rest of the cast tries desperately to piece together a plot that makes sense of all his horny shirtlessness and necessary beach time. And with Surfer Dude next in his comedy lineup, it appears this is just the start of a larger trend.

Trailer under the cut.

Continue Reading " 'Fool's Gold' Trailer Defines a 'McComedy' "

Nov 19 2007 'Fool's Gold' Poster is Very Tan

I have no idea what Fool's Gold is about, but based on this poster, I'd have to assume...

- During an unseasonably warm February, true love takes a dive.

- Kate Hudson has been captured by McConaughey's animal grip. There is no saving her.

- Matthew McConaughey has a dude version of the Midas Touch, which applies a thick layer of bronzer to everyone and everything he touches.

- What was thought (by Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson) to be an extremely valuable metal, typically used for a variety of jewelry and adornments, ends up being a relatively worthless collection of iron pyrite.

- Matthew McConaughey is, like, this awesome dude. Kate Hudson is totally a babe, and she's in this hot bikini. You do the math.

- The newly-retitled Surferapist!

I refuse to look up the actual plot, but let me know if it's somehow either better or worse than these options.

Fool's Gold Poster [IMPA]