Oct 20 2009 'Everyone's Fine' Poster: This Christmas, Four People Will Find Adequacy
Because you've always wanted a Confessions of a Dangerous Mind Christmas Special mixed with Meet the Parents and a digital camera commercial, here's the poster for Everybody's Fine. Also, I'd just like to note that everybody is clearly not fine. Robert De Niro's face, his hypothetical left arm, and all of their careers are far from fine.
'Everybody's Fine' Poster [IMPA]
Jul 23 2009 New 'Whiteout' Trailer: Murder and Nudity Through Frosted Glass
Ut oh, something's happening in Antarctica! Specifically: MURDER! Also, Kate Beckinsale showers sometimes. Those are the two primary things happening in Antarctica, now available to witness first-hand in this new trailer for Whiteout:
Continue Reading " New 'Whiteout' Trailer: Murder and Nudity Through Frosted Glass "
Jun 17 2009 'Whiteout' Teaser More Exciting Than Whiteout Office Supply
There's either a new teaser for the Kate Beckinsale thriller Whiteout, based on the comic of the same name, or Antarctica's tourism bureau has put together the absolute worst promotional video ever created:
Continue Reading " 'Whiteout' Teaser More Exciting Than Whiteout Office Supply "
Dec 8 2008 'Nothing But the Truth' Poster Proves Matt Dillon's Emoting Ability
Even though the title, poster, and summary (in Washington, D.C., a female reporter faces a possible jail sentence for outing a CIA agent and refusing to reveal her source) for Nothing But the Truth are all so typical they make it seem like someone is making an intentionally satirical legal thriller, I would give every acting award I could to Matt Dillon's face. He has set a new standard for solemn consternation will probably never be surpassed in any of our lifetimes. Congratulations, M.D.
Nothing But the Truth Poster [IMPA]
Aug 4 2008 'Winged Creatures' Trailer Sadly Lacks Both Bats and Harpies
Here's the trailer for Winged Creatures, a drama that follows five survivors of a random shooting who decide to make a movie that will draw obvious comparisons to Crash. Wondering why it's called Winged Creatures when my description makes no mention of winged creatures? It's a metaphor!
A moment of random violence erupts in an ordinary Los Angeles diner. The survivors (Kate Beckinsale, Dakota Fanning, Guy Pearce, Forest Whitaker, Josh Hutcherson) find that the meanings of their lives have changed. No matter how much their families and friends (Jennifer Hudson, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Embeth Davidtz) attempt to understand, these individuals must follow their own paths to recovery seeking to regain trust in a world that now seems chaotic.A story of tragedy and hope for our times, Winged Creatures is a powerful ensemble drama that explores the notion that our lives are fleeting, like birds in flight, like winged creatures.
That is so true. I've always said life is like a winged creature. Only instead of birds, I always gave griffins as an example. And I refuse to give my age in anything but "griffin units." The word "year" does nothing to express the transitory nature of life, whereas "griffin units" evoke images of griffins, and how griffins fly, much like how life flies past. And how life is half eagle, half lion.
Continue Reading " 'Winged Creatures' Trailer Sadly Lacks Both Bats and Harpies "
Dec 11 2007 'Whiteout' Stills Not as Impressive as White-Out Art on Your Social Studies Binder
These Whiteout stills don't show much of the film--aside from Kate Beckinsale pointlessly using a flashlight--but I hadn't seen anything from this one since the ComicCon poster, so at least it's something.
One more under the cut.
Jul 31 2007 Whiteout Poster ComicCon Exclusive
For once Hollywood has realized that an original Frank Miller design might be better than whatever crappy mosaic of stars' faces they can cook up, so they've gone with the original graphic novel cover design for the Whiteout poster. The only real difference between designs is that Miller's protagonist shows the face of a strong, courageous woman, whereas Beckinsale has gone with an expression that screams, "Ut-oh, Rosie the Riveter! What kind of mess has empowerment got me in this time!?"
If you're wondering what Whiteout is about, you can read the entire first issue of the comic here, you lucky dog.
