May 6 2009 'Karate Kid' Remake Sounds Like a Distinctly New, Valid Vision

Moviehole has learned some plot details of Jackie Chan and Will Smith Son's Karate Kid remake, a movie I know everyone is pretty juiced about. Allow me to summarize their findings:

• Instead of moving from Jersey to Reseda, The Karate Kid moves from the United States to China.
• The Karate Kid's name is now Dre.
• Everything else is the same.

That sounds about right. Just let me know when Will Smith releases his hip-hop reinterpretation of Joe Esposito's "You're the Best," a catchy track titled "Da Best." That's when we need to put Ralph Macchio on 24-hour suicide watch.

Mar 30 2009 'Karate Kid' Remake Only Conceptually Insulting?

That Karate Kid remake, which was to star nepotism incarnate, Jaden Smith, just got ever so slightly less enraging. Jackie Chan, the film's new Mr. Miyagi, says there's talk of a name change that would more accurately represent Chan's skills and ancestry, plus set it up for a live-action/CGI Kung Fu Panda cross-over:

"They don't want to call it Karate Kid any more," Chan said. "They want to call it The Kung Fu Kid."

That's a step in the right direction. Now could something be done about how the concept of The Karate Kid is being reintroduced as The Kung Fu Kid, with Jaden Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith, and the director of Agent Cody Banks and The Pink Panther 2? Because, even after having my petty anger over the name soothed, I still have to say this sounds like a terrible movie.

Jackie Chan's Karate Kid Remake to be Called Kung Fu Kid [FirstShowing]

Jan 14 2009 Jackie Chan to Train Jaden Smith to Sand Floors, Paint Fences, Etc.

Big update in regards to how ten-year-old Jaden Smith (Will Smith's son that we're being force-fed as an actor) plans to defend himself against bullies by learning karate: Jackie Chan will teach him karate. From Entertainment Weekly:

Jaden Smith has found himself a mentor. Jackie Chan will take on Pat Morita's Mr. Miyagi role in Sony Pictures' remake of The Karate Kid. The movie stars 10-year old Smith (The Pursuit of Happyness), who is the son of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, and will be directed by Harold Zwart (The Pink Panther 2). Will's production company, Overbrook, will produce, and Jada has been rumored for the role of Jaden's mother in the film.

This was probably the easiest casting prediction ever, but since I'm never right about anything, let me just note that in November I said:

Let's start the speculation on who will play the "eccentric mentor." The Chinese setting makes Jackie Chan an early prospect, but I could just as easily see Steve Carell or Samuel L. Jackson letting the kid out of the duffel bag to attack.

But wow, adding the director of Agent Cody Banks and wife of Will Smith? I didn't see that coming. If Smith wants to make it a double-awful with double-nepotism, let's just go for the triple--bring in the screenwriter who did Most Valuable Primate and cast some long-estranged uncle of Will Smith (or Mike Myers playing a long-estranged uncle of Will Smith). Or could we use CGI to bring back some deceased relatives of Will Smith who he'd like to see one last time, dead-eyed in the audience of a martial arts tournament? It doesn't even matter anymore.

The scene where Jackie Chan lets Jaden Smith out of a duffel bag to attack will probably be pretty solid though.

Nov 11 2008 Jaden Smith is the Next Next 'Karate Kid'

Jaden Smith, the ten-year-old son of Will Smith, has been lined up to star in a remake of The Karate Kid. Which is strange because he's ten. Previously it was feared, now it's official:

Columbia Pictures is back in the dojo with a new version of the 1984 hit "The Karate Kid," which has been refashioned as a star vehicle for Jaden Smith.

The script is being written by Chris Murphy, and the film will shoot next year in Beijing and other cities. While the new film will be set in that exotic locale, it will borrow elements of the original plot, wherein a bullied youth learns to stand up for himself with the help of an eccentric mentor.

The film will shoot in Beijing and other cities, and will star a ten-year-old? So basically, this is The Karate Kid in its pandering name choice only. Otherwise it's Three Ninjas, but with one ninja, and he's Jaden Smith. This sounds like the kind of movie where fending off bullies is balanced with foiling a team of bumbling jewel thieves; the kind of movie where, at some point, Jaden Smith is "surfing" on something inappropriate to take out the bad guys.

Let's start the speculation on who will play the "eccentric mentor." The Chinese setting makes Jackie Chan an early prospect, but I could just as easily see Steve Carell or Samuel L. Jackson letting the kid out of the duffel bag to attack. What do you think?

Sep 28 2007 'Karate Kid' to be Destroyed by Nine-Year-Old

I'm not one of these guys who things everything from his childhood is sacred. Looking back at G.I. Joe, Thundercats, Transformers, or any of these other '80s hits now being regurgitated by some Hollywood idiots, I have the presence of mind to say, "You know, maybe a show about anthropomorphic cats fighting a transforming mummy wasn't really that stellar to begin with." But with news that The Karate Kid is set to be remade with 9-year-old Will Smith spawn, Jaden, it raises an interesting question: what the f***?

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