Mar 3 2008 'Semi-Pro' Not a 'Slam Dunk' This Weekend and 'Basketball'

1. Semi-Pro - A weak $15.2 million weekend sent studios a clear message that it takes more than just Will Ferrell, a sport, and some wacky sideburns to bring in audiences. It takes Will Ferrell, a zany sport, and a funny mustache.

2. Vantage Point - $13 million, and I can't wait for ADvantage Point!

3. The Spiderwick Chronicles - Kids + fantasy stuff = $8.8 million

4. The Other Boleyn Girl - $8.3 million, plus a preemptive Best Costumes Oscar.

5. Jumper - Answering what it would be like to have the ability to teleport, and also be thoroughly unlikable, earns $7.6 million.

Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]

Feb 25 2008 'Vantage Point' Wins Weekend Box Office

1. Vantage Point - Promising eight strangers and eight distinct points of view, the thriller earned $24 million despite stealing the concept from Jenna Jameson Does 8 Strangers with Cameras.

2. Jumper - Teenage boys flock to theaters, paying $12.7 million in the hopes of that inevitable scene where someone teleports into a girl's locker room. Only later do they remember it's invisibility where you do that.

3. The Spiderwick Chronicles - A requisite $12.6 million to whatever children's fantasy placeholder is there this week.

4. Step Up 2 the Streets - After earning another $9.8 million this weekend, I can't wait for the sequel, Step Up 2 the Streets 2: The Str33ts.

5. Fool's Gold - $6.3 million, mostly repeat viewers who didn't quite get it the first time.

Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Feb 19 2008 'Jumper', Lincoln Win President's Day Weekend

1. Jumper - $31.7 million, making it the biggest opening ever for a Third Eye Blind video.

2. The Spiderwick Chronicles - A $24.5 million opening has filmmakers scrambling to put together Spiderwick 2, and to find a way to work Venom in.

3. Step Up 2 the Streets - The competitive dance trend makes a successful, terrifying leap from something lazily watched because it's on after something else to something you leave the house and actually pay for, making $21.5 million.

4. Fool's Gold - Another $15 million, finally covering the film's bronzer budget.

5. Definitely, Maybe - There's no 'maybes' that this $11.4 million opening showed America needed a lighthearted rom-com to get their minds off this war. Y'know what I mean, man?

4-Day Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]

Dec 11 2007 AM Poster Post: 'Jumper' Poster is Shiny, Leather

Jumper: It's like The Matrix, only the jackets are covered in Carmen Sandiego clues.

New Jumper Poster [JoBlo]

Dec 10 2007 'Jumper' Trailer Fails to Employ Kris Kross, House of Pain Tracks

As far as movies about Hayden Christensen teleporting to famous landmarks then standing around looking arrogant go, this actually looks pretty decent. Maybe part of my optimism stems from the assurance it provides that, if a teleporting Hayden Christensen were to even spawn, I now know there would be a Samuel L. Jackson/Evil Uncle Ben character to foil his his smug spacial manipulation.

Does anyone else think the Irish/Scottish guy is definitely going to have a heroic death?

Thanks for the tip, Joe.

Continue Reading " 'Jumper' Trailer Fails to Employ Kris Kross, House of Pain Tracks "

Nov 2 2007 'Jumper' Poster Features Exotic/Dull Cocktail

After seeing Star Wars: The First Massive Disappointment, The Clone One, and The One with the Goofy Scream at the End, a lot of viewers probably thought Hayden Christensen could only deliver stilted emotion and non-existant sexual chemistry in the confines of computer-generated outer space.

The poster for Jumper hopes to eliminate this myth by showing off that even in the world's most typically exotic location--the top of the Sphinx--Christensen can still bring his special brand of dull anti-charisma to the screen.

See how his arms hang limply at his sides? That's his acting!

If you missed the trailer, I recommend it here.

Jumper Poster! [JoBlo]

Oct 10 2007 Liveblogging the 'Jumper' Trailer

00:05 - Hayden Christensen is watching TV. That must be what this movie is about. Hey, wait, I watch TV, too! I'm immediately invested in this easily-relatable and likable character.

00:10 - There was just a jarring cut that made it seem like Hayden may have teleported to a different position on the couch. But that's silly, because teleporting is impossible, and stupid at such short distances. I forgive the edit because he just changed the channel to Family Guy, which should have some hilarious off-topic jokes.

00:14 - OK, he definitely teleported this time. Or they're abruptly cutting out a seizure that began at the kitchen and ended at the fridge.

00:25 - The doorman doesn't think Hayden needs an umbrella. Hayden seems to think he will for some reason. Perhaps his teleportation powers also give him meteorological insight.

00:30 - It turns out the doorman didn't take into account that Hayden would be teleporting to Big Ben to stand dramatically in the rain.

00:45 - Hayden has a life others only dream of--no limits, no boundaries, says the narrator. He may be quoting a Nissan commercial.

00:55 - Some asshole drove a car at Hayden and implied he can also teleport. Naturally, the two begin cruising, likely to find more participants for a gay teleportation orgy.

1:05 - "Freedom comes at a price," says the narrator. Apparently that price is a nagging girlfriend who keeps hassling him about his gay teleportation orgies.

1:30 - Samuel L. Jackson, visually channeling Uncle Ben of rice fame, has special sticks and chains that are good for beating up teleporting guys.

2:10 - A lot of running, teleporting, and using the special sticks/chains has happened.

2:12 - Thankfully, they show us how Jumper can be abbreviated for quicker text messaging. (example: omg u c JMPR yet?)

A better quality version is at the official site. Thanks to Joe for the link.