Oct 2 2009 'Tooth Fairy' Trailer: Dwayne Johnson Gobbles Up Vin Diesel's Leavings
It's hard to put into words exactly how unfortunately bad Disney's Tooth Fairy looks from this trailer, so I'm just going to try laying out the major plot points, and maybe enough of the awfulness will ooze through to prepare you for what you're about to see.
1. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a hockey player so good at knocking out teeth that he gets to sit in a customized, ice-side recliner during penalties.
2. The new young, hotshot hockey player thinks Rock is old.
3. The Rock informs a young fan that being a professional hockey player is a very high aspiration.
4. It is revealed the Rock does not believe in the tooth fairy.
5. The Rock becomes a tooth fairy.
6. The Rock undergoes a fairy boot camp (allowing opportunities for him being hit in the balls).
7. Miracle Max gives Rock magic things.
8. The Rock decides to forgo the magic things, instead dressing up in hockey pads for some reason.
9. The Rock uses his invisibility spray to haunt the young hotshot player.
10. Somehow all this teaches Rock a lesson
Even Tim Allen wouldn't do this movie, and he's essentially done this movie several times:
Continue Reading " 'Tooth Fairy' Trailer: Dwayne Johnson Gobbles Up Vin Diesel's Leavings "
Nov 13 2008 Popular Actor/Comedians Providing Voices to CGI Family Comedy
Sorry, trained voice actors, an all-celebrity roster led by Steve Carell is once again dominating the cast of a new animated film called Despicable Me:
Illumination Entertainment topper Chris Meledandri has kicked off his Universal Pictures-based family film unit with "Despicable Me," a 3-D CG-animated film that has Steve Carell voicing the title character.Jason Segel, Kristen Wiig, Will Arnett, Danny McBride, Russell Brand, Jemaine Clement ("Flight of the Conchords"), Jack McBrayer ("30 Rock") and Julie Andrews are providing the other lead voices. The film will be released in 2010.
Carell's title character is a deplorable man known as Groo who masterminds the mother of all heists when he plots to steal the moon. Egged on by an evil mother (Andrews), Groo finds one obstacle in his way: a trio of orphan girls who temporarily come under his care and won't leave.
I'm normally pretty skeptical about any computer-animated family comedy that isn't a Pixar, but I'll give this a pass for now because:
- This is a really good cast of mostly genuinely funny people, not Angelina Jolies.
- It isn't a sequel.
- I like the plan of stealing the moon. It's like Chairface Chippendale's plan to carve his name in the moon, but even more grandiose. How do you steal the moon? I'm willing to find out for now.
But so help me, first mention of anything equivalent to liking to "move it" and I'm done.
Steve Carell to voice 'Despicable' [Variety]
Sep 9 2008 'Tooth Fairy' Turns Fictional Sprites into Judge and Jury
The warring of Sound of Music fans, Scorpion King fans, Double Jeopardy fans, and Extras fans will at last be silenced: Julie Andrews, Dwayne Johnson, Ashley Judd, and Stephen Merchant are finally starring alongside one another! Best of all, they'll be sharing the screen in a family comedy that's so high concept it's insane:
The film centers on Derek Thompson (Johnson), a minor-league hockey player whose nickname is the Tooth Fairy because of his ability to knock out opposing players' teeth. Judd plays his girlfriend.When he discourages a youngster's hope, Derek is ordered to one week's hard labor as a real tooth fairy, complete with wings, magic wand and frilly tutu. Along the way, he rediscovers his forgotten dreams.
It was hard enough to buy into What Happens in Vegas...'s concept that Judge Dennis Miller would make a ruling of "six months of hard marriage." Now I'm supposed to believe demoralizing a child may hold the penalty of becoming a tooth fairy for a week? Presupposing the existence of tooth fairies, since when do they hold this kind of jurisdiction? Like we're meant to look to someone clandestinely paying cash for discarded human teeth as a sort of moral compass, capable sentencing us when we don't abide by their ethical code? This fun family movie holds enormous, horrifying consequences.
I'm curious to see how they handle the idea that a muscular man in a tutu "rediscovers his dreams" while sneaking into the bedrooms of sleeping children.
