Aug 4 2008 People Still Paying to See Batman Movie
Here are this weekend's box office results. Please copy all pertinent information to your journals at home.
1. The Dark Knight - A $43.8 million weekend pushed the film's total gross to just under $400 million, putting it in a likely position to push past the $461 million-grossing Star Wars as the film the most nerds have jacked off to.
2. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - Desire to see Brendan Fraser and his fake hair shoot mummies is down 33% from seven years ago, with this latest chapter only bringing in $42.5 million. Either our economy is that much worse or our society is that much better.
3. Step Brothers - $16.3 million, making it the highest grossing Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly-as-retards comedy until the next one.
4. Mamma Mia! - Your mom keeps going back to see this over and over, earning it another $13.1 million.
5. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D - $6.9 million. Note that this is the second Brendan Fraser movie in this list. Why is this happening?
Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]
Jul 21 2008 'Dark Knight' Deemed Best Movie Ever by Internet Populace, Money
Weekend box office figures, you lucky dogs!
1. The Dark Knight - Apparently some sort of Batman thing opened this weekend, and it made $155.3 million, breaking every record for everything. Also, according to the distinctive group known as "people with the internet," it's the best movie ever made.
2. Mamma Mia! - $27.6 million, because your mom saw it.
3. Hancock - Some people refuse to believe anyone but Will Smith could be mankind's hero. These people saw Hancock, earning it $14 million.
4. Journey to the Center of the Earth - $11.9 million, because your illegitimate child saw it.
5. Hellboy II: The Golden Army - $10 million. Bad month to come out, everything that isn't Batman.
Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]
Jul 14 2008 'Hellboy' Heats Up Weekend, Because Hell is Typically Depicted as Very Hot
Weekend box office numbers!
1. Hellboy II: The Golden Army - $35.9 million, beating the first film's opening by over 12 million despite not using any of my brilliant advertising strategies.
2. Hancock - $33 million, but it could have been so much more if only "Big Willy" had made a bland rap for this one. Is he done with that?
3. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D - $20.6 million, surely missing the top spot due to its bigoted, cyclops-excluding marketing campaign. One should not need binocular vision to enjoy a film.
4. Wall-E - $18.5 million. Has the summer's cute robot bubble burst???
5. Wanted - $11.6 million. Wait a minute.... where's Eddie Murphy Alien inside Eddie Murphy Ship?
Oh...
7. Meet Dave - $5.3 million. Yeah, that's right. Eff you, Meet Dave.
Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]
Apr 18 2008 New 'Journey to Center of the Earth 3D' Trailer Maintains Stupidity Quotient
While acclaimed blockbuster directors like Robert Zemeckis and James Cameron attempt to legitimize digital 3-D as a tool to more fully immerse the audience in their world, there is a lone voice fighting to maintain the sheer novelty of the craft. That voice comes from one Brendan Fraser, straight-faced and shouting "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the center of the earth" from the 3-dimensional caverns of the 3-dimensional earth's core in Journey of the Center of the Earth 3D. But he might as well be shouting, "Take that, 3-d legitimacy! Look at this dinosaur jumping at you purely for shock value!" As far as I can tell from this second trailer, the plot is still "anything that would look cool 3-D, narrated by Brendan Fraser," and the characters serve the same purpose as the Hulk portraits surrounding a Six Flags roller-coaster: flat, lifeless backgrounds to a vapid thrill ride. But since it's all in the name of keeping 3D stupid, I'll forgive it.
Feb 19 2008 'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D' Lives Up to Claims
When I'm watching a movie that goes so far with the 3D gimmick as to mention it in its title, I expect a certain amount of ridiculousness for the sake of optical depth: stuff flying at the camera, some deep holes, or anything else that makes you acutely aware of your binocular vision. What I don't expect is a sink drain POV giving me the full experience of Brendan Fraser's gargled spit. It's a rare film moment--commonplace in the Saw series--that's equal parts stupid and disgusting.
But that somehow isn't the worst part. That comes at the point in the trailer pictured above. Is this the laziest, most blatant attempt at depth ever, or is Fraser's face covered by the book simply to mask his eye rolling? That would make sense, except that he was also in multiple Mummy movies, and manages to deliver "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the center of the earth" with a straight face, so I'm tempted to say it's just lazy. Then again, with a family film so daringly post-modern as to acknowledge its own source material (Fraser's character proves the Verne novel to be fact-based), it's not so crazy to think this is another meta-wink at the audience, letting us know that the characters are acutely aware of the third dimension. I'm not sure if this is really stupid or borderline brilliant.
Continue Reading " 'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D' Lives Up to Claims "
Jan 10 2008 'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D' as Series of 2D Images
Remember a couple days ago, when the poster to Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D showed us its theme park-like world of giant, awesome dinosaurs? Well, New Line has released some production stills from the upcoming film, and they've left me wondering where all the giant, awesome dinosaurs went? Dull scenes of Brendan Fraser's holding flashlights and reading the actual book the movie is based on are not suddenly exciting just because of the presence of 3D glasses and thinning hair. Though it will be interesting to see how post-modernism translates into the third dimension.
Jan 8 2008 'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D' as a Poster
Possible quotes to use on this poster:
"The most Brendan Fraser-y cover of a Choose Your Own Adventure book yet!"
"Jules Verne's immortal classic told with all the dignity of a Universal Studios ride."
"Fraser-fuled excitement that pops out at you with the same virility as its WordArt title."
"A much-desired Crocodile Dundee 2-style look at Encino Man."
"Shit, do you see that awesome T-Rex?"
Feel free, New Line. They're yours for the taking.
'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D Poster Premiere [Cinematical]
