Oct 30 2009 John Rhys-Davies Has Left the Party (John Rhys-Davies Has Not Perished)
You will never see Sallah's face in dwarf facial appliances again. Speaking to Empire, John Rhys-Davies--Gimli of Lord of the Rings--explained that he's already declined appearing in future Tolkien adventures (though, in a parallel Sliders universe, he's probably playing every role in The Hobbit):
While Gimli doesn't appear in The Hobbit, his father Gloin does, so we asked him recently whether he'd be back for another go."I've already been asked and to be honest with you, I wouldn't. I have already completely ruled it out. There's a sentimental part of me that would love to be involved again. Really I am not sure my face can take that sort of punishment any more."
His mouth says his face can't take the punishment, but his résumé says he's just too busy making original movies for SyFy and Cinemax.
Oct 20 2008 Anacondas Scion Proves Deadlier Than Ancestors!
I have problems with the MTV video player thing, so I haven't actually watched this clip from Anaconda 3: The Offspring. However, I'm willing to wager the reputations of David Hasselhoff and John Rhys-Davies that it's worthwhile. I mean, we're talking anaconda offspring, for god's sake. The progeny of giant snakes, back to avenge their giant snake forefathers! We would be so fucked if David Hasselhoff wasn't around to murder them:
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Sep 2 2008 'Fire and Ice: The Dragon Chronicles' Trailer Finally Gets Down to What Dragons Are Doing (Fighting Each Other)
God, what have dragons been up to these days? I swear, it's like no one has been chronicling anything to do with those guys in forever. Until Fire and Ice: The Dragon Chronicles, that is! Not to be confused with Dragons: Fire & Ice, Fire and Ice: The Dragon Chronicles sets up more of a Boa vs. Python scenario, with John Rhys-Davies (of course) recruiting an ice dragon to fight off a havoc-wreaking fire dragon. It's the kind of genius you can only get from the director of Catwoman, a man known only as Pitof.
I don't know what's most astounding about this trailer. That it's somehow not a fan film (by fans of fire or ice dragons)? That it's seven minutes long? That its being seven minutes necessitates opening credits? That it reveals the deaths of two main characters? Nah. What's most astounding is how much I want to see it. I mean, seriously, fire versus ice? We've got to see how that one plays out.
Jul 23 2008 Guess What! There's This Now: 'Anaconda 3: The Offspring'
It's almost magical how they've managed to condense the entire essence of what it is to be a Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie in under ten seconds, and how that magic is strangely heightened by the Davidhasselhoffonline.com watermark obscuring the shoddy CGI and "of course you're in Anaconda 3" actors.
It's going to be really sad when John Rhys-Davies dies and his awards show tribute clips will be Indiana Jones, Lord of the Rings, then a bunch of crap like this.*
*Such as Anaconda 4: Trail of Blood, currently in post-production.
Continue Reading " Guess What! There's This Now: 'Anaconda 3: The Offspring' "
