Nov 12 2007 'Major Movie Star' Trailer as Bad as Expected

Questions to ask yourself, and possibly yell at the screen, while watching the trailer to Major Movie Star:

Do you think they told Jessica Simpson she'd be playing a "movie star Britney Spears-like" character, so that she wouldn't catch on that she was playing herself?

Is the "everyone wants a piece of your pie" line meant as double entendre?

Steve Guttenberg? In a movie?

A self-proclaimed "major movie star" is impressed and shocked to learn she has $15 million dollars? Nothing else seems to indicate this takes place in 1950.

Since when does going broke mean you immediately sleep on the street (in front of an Army recruitment center)? Even if she was renting she'd get until the end of the month, right? Does she have no friends? Oh, right, it's to make it perfectly logical that she desperately joins the army.

Are these the jokes?

Is this all an elaborate plan to make Goldie Hawn's Private Benjamin look better?

Why?

This looks awful even by Jessica Simpson standards, which I didn't think existed. Still, I couldn't encourage you more to watch it, and it's under the cut.

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Oct 1 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened...

- Rumors are flying that Tim Burton or Henry Selick may have a new stop-motion animated film on the way. Either way, Hot Topic is going to make a fortune selling its merchandise. [AICN]

- Remember the talk of HBO making a couple Deadwood made-for-TV movies? That was just to subside your sorrow until the next season of Curb Your Enthusiasm gave you something else to tell your friends they were missing by not paying $90 a month for premium cable. They aren't happening. [Cinematical]

- The man hired to direct the Wolverine movie spoke out to pretend there were reasons other than money that inspired him to direct a Wolverine movie. Really, though, it's just the money. [IESB]

- Someone is making an animated Noah's Ark picture told from the point-of-view of--get this--the animals! Combining the comedy genius of both Evan Almighty and Madagascar will surely equal something at least as bad as one of them.

- Morgan Freeman and Antonio Banderas are teaming up in The Code, in which the former will play a veteran thief pulling one final job with a younger thief with a thick, sexy accent and his own line of scents. [Variety]

- Jessica Simpson's latest bimbo-defining role in Blonde Ambition was already headed to the world of straight-to-DVD, but now it's creating a new form of public shaming/release deemed "straight-to-QVC" (which is exactly what it sounds like), where it will be purchased as stocking stuffers by as many as hundreds of grandmas. [Faded Youth]