Nov 18 2009 Jason Lee Has More Than Infinite 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' Squeakuels on His Plate
I'm happy to report Jason Lee has not been completely broken by his experiences acting alongside CGI chipmunks. The former My Name is Earl star (I just now found out My Name is Earl is no longer being made) has two television shows and a directing project in the works. From The Hollywood Reporter:
The hourlong "Delta Blues," from Clooney and Grant Heslov's Smokehouse Pictures and Warner Horizon, centers on Dwight Hendricks (Lee), a Memphis police officer who lives with his mother and moonlights as an Elvis impersonator.
Sounds quirky!
Then there's this, also:
As for Lee's other projects in the hopper, along with Luke Watson, he co-created and is producing a live-action comedy for Adult Swim set in the world of skateboarding. Lee also is attached to direct and star (in second position to "Delta") in the comedy, now in development.
Smells semi-autobiographical!
And this:
Produced by Matt Berenson, "Get Back," which Lee will direct, tells the story of two music-obsessed friends who time travel back to 1966 London, where one gets caught in a love triangle with John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
Tastes... strange? If I was going back in time to interact with John Lennon, my first thought would probably be to, I don't know, maybe stop his being murdered or something. But I suppose attempting to steal his wife also has its merits.
Dec 4 2007 More 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' Anger Fuel
Jesus Christ. If these are the most impressive clips to show off Alvin and the Chipmunks, it's actually much, much worse than even the phrase "munk yourself" implies.
Honestly, try watching this clip of an updated version of the old Chipmunks classic, "Witch Doctor." What little you hear over your own internal screaming will surely be one of the most maddening experiences of your life. I can't even figure out if the modernizing is an actual, sad attempt at making an idiotic novelty song trendy again or a self-aware reference to the sad state of modern pop music. Judging from everything else I've seen, I have a hard time believing this film is capable of exhibiting any self-awareness.
If that's not enough, try out this clip, in which Jason Lee's ridiculously stilted performance seems almost acceptable once you realize he must be holding back a mouthful of vomit. Or this one, with an extremely original slimy manager character played by a near-suicidal David Cross.
This movie must be made by some kind of nostalgia Grinch, desperately trying to convert any pleasant pop culture memories of your youth into raw, unadulterated rage.
Alvin and the Chipmunks Clips [Yahoo!]
Nov 29 2007 More Rage-Inducing Images from 'Alvin and the Chipmunks'
As much as I hated the bizarre hip-hop version of the Chipmunks from the poster, this hardcore lesbian version is a far, far more terrifying alternative.
Look below the cut to see how their "Disco Chipmunks" version somehow ended up a confusing amalgam of Saturday Night Fever, pregnancy, and pubic hair.
Continue Reading " More Rage-Inducing Images from 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' "
Nov 8 2007 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' Full Trailer!
As awful as I realized Alvin and the Chipmunks would be from its Jamie Kennedy-esque attempt at hip-hop parody, vague allusions to HBO programming, and literal shit eating, this new trailer for the film updates me as to many other terrible things it will include. Such as:
- David Cross. Normally, the inclusion of the hilarious David Cross would be a positive, but seeing him in this crap-cake is equivalent to watching your favorite band play at a Taco Bell. Nice to see them, but why there, among the rodents? This is below you, no matter what the compensation.
- The chipmunk voices have gone up about five octaves, now reaching the point of completely unbearable.
- Besides the aforementioned shit-eating joke, there are also fart-in-the-face jokes.
- According to descriptions of each chipmunk I'm given in the trailer, Alvin is a flamboyantly seductive hula hooper, Simon has a servant fetish, and Theodore is a nocturnal frotteur.
- The chipmunks are almost always naked. Which wouldn't be that weird for animals, except they're constantly being portrayed as bizarrely sexual.
Basically, unless you want your kids to become feces-obsessed perverts, I wouldn't recommend taking them to Alvin and the Chipmunks. Thanks for the tip, Kyle.
Alvin and the Chipmunks Trailer [Yahoo!]
Nov 5 2007 More 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' Images To Chew On
For whatever reason, I can't help but follow the developing disaster that is Alvin and the Chipmunks with a sense of awe and bewilderment. I guess I can understand updating the characters with new, terrible jokes and real-world CGI effects for a new generation (I got over that with Garfield and Underdog), but why make them so intensely unlikable?
If you'd asked me an hour ago how to make a chipmunk look like an absolute douchebag, I would barely know where to start. Now, thanks to this image, I've relaized that, like a frat boy, it takes little more than an oversized hoodie, overly-gelled hair, and a look of aggressive arrogance to get the point across.
How can they carry such looks of smug satisfaction when we already know one of them eats feces? That's right--In case you'd forgotten, the trailer revealed that Alvin shoves Theodore's poop in his mouth to save him the embarrassment of having shit on a table. (In fairness, similar situations have occurred on The View.)
Enjoy a fecal reminder and another image, under the cut.
Continue Reading " More 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' Images To Chew On "
Jul 27 2007 Alvin and the Chipmunks' Hilarious Trailer!
I found this Alvin and the Chipmunks teaser trailer over on Cinematical, where the writer had this to say:
Alviiiiin! Ah, there's just something about seeing Alvin, Simon and Theodore sing Funkytown that just brings me back to my childhood, sitting at home with nothing else to do but watch those old Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoons. The first trailer for the new, updated version of Alvin and Chipmunks has just arrived over on Moviefone and -- I dunno -- it made me chuckle. Then again, I'm a sucker for these damn chipmunks.
Awesome, so seeing Alvin and the Chipmunks reminds you of your childhood... during which you also spent time seeing Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was nice of you to spell that out for us, I'm not sure if we'd have made the jump otherwise... Did your childhood also include getting hammered through your umbilical cord (btw, this is the most subtle fetal alcohol syndrome joke I will ever write)? I'm guessing business relationships over there require him to write that, because otherwise... wow.
Personally, I get the same feeling from the teaser as I do the poster: file this one under Garfield, Scooby Doo, Fat Albert, and the Darfur massacre.
Jul 5 2007 Alvin and the Chipmunks Poster
Alvin and the Chipmunks was never anything amazing, and even as a kid I never fully grasped why these giant, intelligent chipmunks were able to live in the human world fairly unnoticed outside of some relative fame as singers (rather than as the mutant freaks they were). However, I was fairly certain Hollywood was going to somehow take my mediocre memories of the series and destroy them yet again in their big screen, semi-live-action adaptation.
I couldn't have been more wrong! Look at this poster! They've cleverly made the chipmunks look like old school rappers! Just as Jason Lee implies with his expression and relative size, I want to eat these fellas up! I know what I'll be asking for come Christmas: tickets! (to this movie)
