Oct 28 2009 'Invictus' Trailer: This Would Make More Sense If I Understood Any Element of Rugby
Eat your Oscar bait: the trailer for Clint Eastwood's Invictus. Based on John Carlin's book Playing the Enemy: Nelson Mandela and the Game That Changed a Nation, it's a film that shows how a rugby game was able to unite a racially divided nation, and how, apparently, a rugby game can be won if the president tells the captain, "Come on, guys, win this rugby game!" Simple as that:
Oct 23 2009 'Invictus' One-Sheet: See the Poster Before It Wins the Oscars
Continuing the recent trend of airbrushed-on-the-back-of-a-jacket poster design, Clint Eastwood's Nelson Mandela + rugby film now has an official poster on Yahoo. I'm hoping this style eventually evolves into more of an embroidered-on-a-jacket look, so that I can have a good pattern for embroidering Matt Damon on the back of my jean jacket.
Mar 20 2009 'Year One' Trailer
Michael Cera and Jack Black take their type-cast personas to the deep past (deep past?): it's the Year One trailer. Life of Brian and History of the World: Part I at last have a modern equivalent--but still set in the past, obviously. Enjoy some comedy about human slavery:
Oct 31 2008 Final 'Valkyrie' Trailer Makes Hitler Assassination Fun
Here's the final trailer to Valkyrie, the Bryan Singer-directed, Tom Cruise-starring historical thriller about a German assassination plot against Hitler. The film looks well made, but I can't help but feel a lack of tension knowing that the plot fails (thanks for the spoilers, history). I hope, to keep things interesting, there's a second, "or what if THIS happened?" ending where we see the plan succeed and Hiter gets blown up. You know, just something tasteful, like the fuhrer sees the bomb and is like, "Ooooohhh shiiiiii--" and then you see an explosion as Tom Cruise rides up on a horse, Hitler's mustache floating gently in the sky (like that CGI feather in Forrest Gump), and Cruise says, "Let's get the heil outta here!"
Maybe for the DVD?
Continue Reading " Final 'Valkyrie' Trailer Makes Hitler Assassination Fun "
Oct 10 2008 'Defiance' Trailer Defies You To Watch It! Or Whatever
Here's the new trailer for Defiance, where a Frankenstein-like James Bond, Liev Schreiber, and Billy Elliott save a group of Eastern European Jews by recreating the Battle of Endor:
Continue Reading " 'Defiance' Trailer Defies You To Watch It! Or Whatever "
Oct 6 2008 Showtime and Bacon Working on John Wilkes Booth Emmy Bait
Kevin Bacon and Showtime are working together to prepare a new cable series about John Wilkes Booth and his brothers. From Variety:
"The Booths" will revolve around actor-brothers Edwin, Junius Brutus Jr. and John Wilkes Booth and their dysfunctional relationship in the years prior to Lincoln's assassination.No writer is yet attached, but Bacon will exec produce for the cabler. Showtime is no stranger to period drama, having aired "The Tudors," among other shows.
John Wilkes Booth eventually became a rabid defender of the South and clashed with his brother Edwin. The three brothers performed together just once, in a New York showing of "Julius Caesar" in 1864.
Booth, of course, shot Lincoln at Ford's Theatre while the President was watching the play "Our American Cousin" on April 14, 1865.
Look, Showtime. I know after HBO's success with John Adams, you guys want an early-American biographical melodrama too, but if you want to really bring home the awards, you can't half-ass it. Here are some suggestions to help you out. You can thank me after the Emmys.
- You already have The Tudors, so don't call this The Booths. Just Booth. Much cooler, and you can say it like Lost.
- The Booth brothers are all actors, so let's get actual actor-brothers to play them--really add another layer to this thing. The Baldwins seem like the obvious choice, but since Kevin Bacon is producing, maybe use the Bacon Brothers? I think there are only two of them though, so the third guy will be have to be CGI. Actually, fuck it, let's just get the Jonas Brothers.
- And could we get Harry Dean Stanton to play Lincoln? Everyone loves that guy.
- When Booth shot Lincoln, he used a derringer. LIKE A WOMAN! In this Showtime version, he should use like a Magnum, or something from Halo.
- In the final episode, it's revealed that John Wilkes Booth and Lincoln are the same person, and that Lincoln was a figment of Booth's imagination, so there's still slavery. For the last shot, the camera pulls back to reveal the entire series was being watched by Shaq in the Miami Heat locker room. An off-camera voice calls to him: "Time to play basketball, Shaq," and Shaq stands up and he's in chains.
- ALTERNATELY...*
Continue Reading " Showtime and Bacon Working on John Wilkes Booth Emmy Bait "
Sep 26 2008 'Valkyrie' Trailer is Good Enough to KILL HITLER
If you've been looking for a film full of Hiter killin', constant whispering, torturing mosquitos with cigarettes, and Tom Cruise's wild-(one)-eyed stares, Valkyrie is going to be your favorite. Check out the new trailer:
Continue Reading " 'Valkyrie' Trailer is Good Enough to KILL HITLER "
Sep 26 2008 'Valkyrie' Poster: Looks Like the New Season of 'Mad Men' Has Nazis
This is what you get when you MapQuest* "Tom Cruise, other stern men in suits."
*Never use Google Maps. You're always going to want that MapQuest.
Valkyrie Poster [IMPA]
Sep 22 2008 Nicolas Cage is The Transporter for Witches
Is there any role Nicolas Cage can't play? No. He can and should play every role. A skeleton motorcyclist? Nailed it. John Travolta wearing the face of Nicolas Cage? Swish. A National Treasure? Yes, he definitely is. And now he's also a 14th century knight escorting a purported witch. From Variety:
Nicolas Cage will reteam with director Dominic Sena for the supernatural thriller “Season of the Witch” for Relativity Media.Story chronicles the journey of 14th century knights transporting a girl suspected of being the witch responsible for spreading the Black Plague.
I hope he plays it really stilted and raspy-voiced, and there's a scene where the witch girl is holding him and she whispers, "Why won't you let me get close to you?" And his raspy voice responds, "Because you might have the Black Plague. Plus, there's the witch thing," and then he has to defy the king's will to save her. I expect nothing less from the team that brought us Gone in Sixty Seconds.
Aug 26 2008 'Good' Trailer ('Good' is the Name, Not a Judgment Call)
Good tells the story of a German author and literary professor whose book advocating compassionate euthanasia becomes a support tool for the Nazi party, forcing him to choose between his career and his values. Also, it stars Viggo Mortensen dressed exactly like Harry Potter, so it's only a matter of hours before the internet will produce the requisite Harry Fuhrer mash-up trailer. Until then, here's the original:
Continue Reading " 'Good' Trailer ('Good' is the Name, Not a Judgment Call) "
Jul 15 2008 'Duchess' Poster Wins Academy Award for Best Costumes (Puffy Dresses)
It's based on the incredible true story! Of how the guy who played Eddie Munster stalked a duchess (I assume)!
The Duchess One-Sheet [Coming Soon]
May 20 2008 Baz Luhrmann's 'Australia' Trailer--Now With ACTUAL Aussies!
Set in northern Australia just prior to World War II, Baz Luhrmann's Australia (starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman)--like his prior work on Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge!--looks like a visually rich, masterfully composed piece of cinematic artistry. Seldom is a trailer capable of portraying equal parts epic, romantic adventure and steak sauce commercial. This one does it.
Observe, under the cut.
Continue Reading " Baz Luhrmann's 'Australia' Trailer--Now With ACTUAL Aussies! "
Apr 3 2008 Crudup Playing J. Edgar Hoover? Hmm...
Variety reports that Almost Famous and Watchmen's Billy Crudup has joined the cast of Michael Mann's Public Enemies in the role of the infamous cross-dressing FBI director J. Edgar Hoover. Hmm, looking at a side-by-side comparison of the two, something seems off somehow. I can't quite put my finger on it...
Wait, I think I got it. It's that Billy Crudup is a traditionally handsome leading man, while Hoover looked like Yoda.
Crudup to play Hoover in 'Public' [Variety]
Apr 1 2008 New Eye-Patched 'Valkyrie' Shots
Empire Magazine has some exclusive new shots from Valkyrie, Bryan Singer's mostly-true story of an assassination attempt against Hitler. In this shot, Tom Cruise (playing the depth-perceptionless Claus Von Stauffenberg) gets romantic with a certain criminal globetrotter (and occasional time traveler).
So do you think this minor disability will be enough to get Tom Cruise an Oscar nomination, or should have also had a peg leg or a lisp or something?
New Valkyrie Pictures [Empire]
Mar 25 2008 And the Winner for Poster That Most Resembles the Cover of a Christian Novel is...
Fugitive Pieces! At least until you notice the World War II imagery on the left. The film was named one of Canada's Top Ten films last year (somehow edging out Strange Brew: Brew-Ray Edition), and here's the summary:
Jakob Beer, a man whose life is haunted by his childhood experiences during WWII. As a child in Poland he is orphaned during wartime then saved by a compassionate Greek archaeologist. Over the course of his life, he attempts to deal with the losses he has endured. Through his writing, and then through the discovery of true love, Jakob is ultimately freed from the legacy of his past.
Basically, it's the same plot as if it were a Christian novel, except that the "true love" he finds probably won't end up being Jesus. This time...
'Fugitive Pieces' Poster Premiere [Cinematical]
Mar 19 2008 First Look at Depp as Dillinger in 'Public Enemies'
Man, I've always wanted to see Johnny Depp in a fedora. Who would have thought I'd get to finally live out my dream, if only through an old fashioney car's window? If someone could get him in to wear a buccaneer's facial hair and the glasses of a 19th century professor, I could die happily. But what are the chances we'd ever see that absurd combination?
First Look at Johnny Depp as John Dillinger [Hollywood Newsroom]
Mar 10 2008 Beyonce as Etta James in 'Cadillac Records'
I had my doubts that Beyonce would be able to pull off the role of such a legend, but she really does look the part of Black Harpo Marx. Is there nothing Beyonce and a wig can't do?
At Last, Beyonce as Etta! [Page Six]
Feb 27 2008 Reagan/Gorbachev Reykjavik Summit Will Make Riveting Film
As times goes on--possibly as a sign of impending dementia--Ridley Scott has been taking on projects that seem increasingly likely to be incredibly boring. The director, known for directing two of the best sci-fi films ever made (Alien and Blade Runner), announced last year that he was interested in developing a Monopoly movie, and now the director is adding the inherently exciting 1986 Reykjavik Reagan/Gorbachev summit to his list:
Scott, who has not made a final decision on whether he will direct, said he wants to be as impartial as possible in the movie. "If you do a dramatic version of an event, you have to get as close as possible to the truth. You need to make intelligent judgment call to get under the veneer of perception. It's like dramatized journalism," he said.
Though I clearly have my doubts, Alex P. Keaton insists it will be f***ing great.
Scott Free shines light on Reykjavik [Hollywood Reporter]
Feb 21 2008 New '10,000 B.C. (or so)' Trailer
I have to wonder, was the "a world lost in time" tagline conceived before or after it was realized that 10,000 B.C. was completely and hopelessly lost in its own twisted chronology? Roland Emmerich's latest blockbuster epic looks like one of those Discovery Channel shows where, out of ideas for programming, they start disproving crazy hypotheses under the guise that some scientists actually believe them. "Could saber-toothed tigers have existed alongside the Mayans? If so, might they have been bus-sized? Maybe Ancient Egyptians had lasers, too? Watch how we spent our year's entire effects budget to find out."
Truthfully, those shows are usually pretty great, and if Emmerich had stuck with that format, only breaking up the action for a scientist to explain why it would never happen, he may have had something. Unfortunately, he had to add a plot and some dreadlocks, and that will be its downfall.
Feb 7 2008 'Married Life' Trailer Critiques 1940s Wife Murder
Chris Cooper, Pierce Brosnan, Patricia Clarkson, and Rachel McAdams (playing, apparently, Gwen Stefani) star in Married Life, a film that takes the '40s/'50s social critique of Far from Heaven and presents it like a long, schlocky play.
The hardest part to understand is that they're marketing this as a straight-up drama, though the trailer paints it as a satire mixed with a comedy of "who's cheating with who?!" We're not supposed to think it's funny how he's planning to replace his wife's medicine with poison? That's such a ridiculous murder cliché, how is it not meant to be funny? He might as well drop an anvil on her. Then again, maybe it's just the Django Reinhardt(-inspired?) soundtrack making me assume Woody Allen is going to pop out from behind a bannister, or that the title already makes it sound like a seldom-watched CBS sitcom.
Continue Reading " 'Married Life' Trailer Critiques 1940s Wife Murder "
