Mar 2 2009 Old Woman Going to Jail Still Our Best Movie Concept
Your weekend box office results:
1. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - Tyler Perry's $16.5 million. Where will Madea go next? Only Tyler Perry's Brain knows.
2. Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience - $12.7 million. Did people not realize this was a concert EXPERIENCE? It's not just three religious brothers in tight pants and rolled-up jackets singing for people who Tivo the Disney Channel; IT'S AN EXPERIENCE.
3. Slumdog Millionaire - $12.2 million. Is this the Oscar movie? I've been wanting to see that Oscar movie with the Indian fellows! Is this it?? I know it was dog million-something! I think this is it!!
4. Taken - $10 million. Have you been Taken?
5. He's Just Not That Into You - $5.9 million. Has he not been that into you?
Also:
8. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li - 4.7 million. Maybe a third try at a Street Fighting movie will be the charm.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Feb 23 2009 Madea's Criminal Activity Does Not Diminish Her Fan Base
No one dared go against the power of Tyler Perry's Thing this weekend, and T.P. made the most of it:
1. Tyler Perry's Mades Goes to Jail - $41.1 million. Just when I thought nothing could make the concept of prison scarier than this, Tyler Perry has to throw his cross-dressing persona in there too.
2. Taken - $11.4 million, thanks to continued word-of-mouth that "Liam Neeson is fucking badass in this thing."
3. Coraline - $11 million. Can we let Henry Selick make more movies yet? He should be the stop-motion Pixar by now.
4. He's Just Not That Into You - $8.5 million. The first couple weeks of this film's success were due to its impressive star power. Now it's just sad ladies without friends hoping for answers on whether or not a guy is into her.
5. Slumdog Millionaire - $8 million. Even when it's safe money, no one wants to bet on a horse they haven't seen running.
Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]
Feb 16 2009 Your Valentine's Weekend Movie Favorites
After spending nearly $35 at Olive Garden, you still managed to see these movies this weekend:
1. Friday the 13th - $42.2 million, because murder makes for a great Valentine's date movie.
2. He's Just Not That Into You - $19.6 million, because male disinterest also makes for a great Valentine's date movie.
3. Taken - $19.3 million, because paternal vengeance makes for a great Valentine's date movie too.
4. Confessions of a Shopaholic - $15.4 million, because, in case you didn't know, the confessions of a shopaholic make for a great Valentine's date movie.
5. Coraline - $15.3 million, because stop-motion animation involving buttons replacing eyeballss--you guessed it--great for a V-Day date.
Not particularly good for a Valentine's date? International bank conspiracy.
Feb 9 2009 He's Just Not That Into Seeing 'Push' This Weekend (Nor Was Anyone Else)
Here's what you were paying to see this weekend:
1. He's Just Not That Into You - $27.5 million, and he's not into you because you're into seeing awful romantic comedies opening weekend.
2. Taken - $20.3 million, only dropping 18% despite the controversial ending where it's revealed Liam Neeson's daughter was never kidnapped; he just didn't have reception when she was calling, and it turns out the entire movie is an AT&T commercial.
3. Coraline - $16.3 million. That might go up next week when Neil Gaiman fanatics aren't busy being dressed up as Sandman for a comic convention.
4. The Pink Panther 2 - $12 million, but imagine how Steve Martin would pronounce that as a French guy! It would probably be really funny.
5. Paul Blart: Mall Cop - $11 million. One more weekend should push it over $100 million, and one more year should push it permanently out of our minds (until Paul Blart: Standard Cop).
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Nov 25 2008 'He's Just Not That Into You' or This Lazy Poster
Movie poster designers, there's been a misunderstanding. When myself and other internet people complain about the overuse of Photoshop, we generally mean that the stars are being airbrushed into a featureless oblivion, or that it's very apparent that no one is actually in the same room for the photo, or that Ben Stiller's head has quite obviously been thrown on a different body, and we're suggesting that maybe Photoshop shouldn't be used quite so heavily and lazily. We never meant to not use Photoshop at all, instead choosing to just do a Google image search for each star, grabbing the first image you find of them smiling, and dragging the variously-sized images into a rectangle. That makes it looks like a romantic comedy Atari game where each pixel is a random actor.
Anyone else who watched NBC's Ed notice this reunion of Warren Cheswick and Diane Snyder? Anyone else watch Ed at all?
Not Into You Poster [Jo Blo]
Aug 28 2008 'He's Just Not That Into You' Poster, and It's True, He's Not
The point of any movie poster is, obviously, to stir up interest in whatever movie its promoting. Let me know if you hear anyone saying, "Oooh, we should see that movie about the disheartening confectionery!"
He's Just Not That Into You Poster [Trailer Addict]
May 28 2008 'He's Just Not That Into You' Trailer Informs Unlovable Women of Their Status
Women: they can never tell if we like them, hate them, or just want to see them be naked in a pool. So Greg Behrendt (consultant on Sex and the City, there to "keep it real," and one of the few comedians known who looks like more of an asshole than Dane Cook) and Liz Tuccillo (one of the sad ladies writing Sex and the City dialogue) co-authored He's Just Not That Into You, a self-help book meant to help women confused as to why men are avoiding them after initial contact. (Spoiler: it turns out it's a lack of interest.) Now the book has been turned into a movie--or, more specifically, turned into like five star-studded romantic comedies fused into one, creating the powerful beast known as the Voltrom-com. Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, and Mac Commercial Guy form the appendages of this particular Voltrom-com, and there's a trailer for the film below the cut. It looks something like Love Actually if you sucked out all of the Christmas elements and saccharine charm that made it tolerable.
Continue Reading " 'He's Just Not That Into You' Trailer Informs Unlovable Women of Their Status "
Aug 7 2007 Jennifer Connelly (et al.) Not That Into You
Jennifer Connelly has joined Kevin Connolly, Bradley Cooper, Justin Long and Ginnifer Goodwin in negotiations to star with Drew Barrymore in what sounds like an absolutely terrible movie. The terrible writers of Never Been Kissed have adapted the book He's Just Not That Into You, written by the terrible writers of Sex and the City, into what they're calling--honest to god--a "Traffic of comedy." Yes, someone finally had the vision to get rid of all the drug trafficking nonsense in the Best Picture nominee and infuse it with that patented Sex and the City wittiness that makes the show unwatchable unless you're actually living their life.
I apologize if you're really into Sex and the City and you take offense to this, but I thought it would be more offensive to actually assume someone likes Sex and the City.
