Sep 23 2008 Phew: 'Hari Puttar' Beats Lawsuit, Opening This Friday!
A court in India has dismissed a Warner Bros. lawsuit against the slightly similarly-named film Hari Puttar: A Comedy of Terrors:
"The case has been dismissed. The court said that Warner Bros had known the title of the film since 2005 and had delayed bringing the case to court until the last moment," lawyer Pratibha Singh was quoted by news agency AFP as saying. The Delhi High Court also said that consumers who read the Harry Potter books, written by JK Rowling, were sufficiently educated to know that Hari Puttar was different, the agency quoted the lawyer as saying.
Consumers who read Harry Potter are sufficiently educated to know the difference? Have they met all these people? No offense to fans of the series, but that's a pretty broad statement to make. I've seen the groups gathering at Barnes & Noble, and there are definitely at least a few Harry Potter readers who are not sufficiently educated to know that Hari Puttar is different than Harry Potter, even with mousetraps serving as the dominant plot device in only one of the two.
Anyway, Hari Puttar Friday then?
Warner Bros. Lose Case Against Hari Puttar [Coming Soon]
Sep 19 2007 Jim Broadbent is Horace Slughorn
Speaking to Dark Horizons, Jim Broadbent revealed that he has been assigned the goofy name of Horace Slughorn, apparently for some kind of movie about a boy wizard and his friends, who are also wizards. Broadbent described the character as:
a retired teacher of magic who's drawn back out of retirement because he's got some secrets they need in the battle against the Deatheaters and he's quite star struck as a teacher and he's drawn back into the fold because he likes to notch up celebrity students, and he's drawn back by Harry.
I'm going to be so glad when they finish the fourteenth movie or whatever we're going to and I don't have to keep hearing grown men and women throw around names like Slughorn and Deatheaters and Hogwarts and all this crap. It's really getting embarrassing as a society, and it distracts me from my discussions of Anakin Skywalker's midichlorian count as compared to Mace Windu and the rest of the Jedi council.
Broadbent on "Potter" & "Indy 4" [Dark Horizons]
Jul 23 2007 Crap Rules Box Office, Travolta Rules My Nightmares
Despite a heavy-handed marketing effort, Hairspray couldn't compete with worse-reviewed Chuck & Larry or Harry Potter.
If people are looking for a reason why, they need look no further than the picture of John Travolta in drag above. I don't care how good you tell me this movie is, that is the scariest thing I've ever seen. I had a nightmare that I was buried alive inside a coffin with the re-animated corpse of Tammie Faye and it was less scary than that (too soon?).
I would rather see Knüt the polar bear get electrocuted to death by Michael Vick than see two hours of John Travolta in drag. I would rather fall asleep with Shia LaBeouf gently nibbling my earlobe than see this movie. Okay, maybe that last one's not such a good example, but still man, like, creepy.
Jun 22 2007 Christmas Comes Early for Dorks
It hurts so good!
Alright nerds, I've got a present for you: 75 new Harry Potter pictures. As for myself, I haven't seen a Harry Potter movie since I saw the first one on mushrooms and crapped myself during the 'talking hat' scene. However, I do have a newfound respect for Daniel Radcliffe. He turned in one of the funniest guest appearances I've ever scene in Ricky Gervais' HBO show, Extras. Check it out, after the jump.
May 3 2007 Hermione's Breasts Grow in 3-D Transfer
Perverts at PosterWire have determined, after careful, repeated examination, that Hermione's figure has been made more curvaceous for the IMAX version of the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix poster. To make it seem less creepy to have noticed, the site also mentions the change in actress Emma Watson's flowing hair, but them big ol' titties are really the highlight of the new poster, with controversy now surrounding the decision to add more sex appeal to a 17-year-old girl.
Personally, I see nothing wrong with the change. No harm in seeing a couple coming attractions before the feature (the feature being legal sex age). And honestly, would people be complaining if Emma Watson was kidnapped, and they were using this to show possible breast age progression to help find her and her new, giant boobs? I think not.
If the issue is making an underage girl over-sexualized, I've got news for you: they've made her less appealing to pedophiles. Believe me, there's nothing a pedophile wants more in a young lady than a boyish, breast-free physique. Except maybe access to the Internet and parents who are comfortable dropping you off in a motel parking lot. Hairlessness, too.
Apr 26 2007 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Poster
The one-sheet for the new Harry Potter film (above) documents an event rarely seen at all, yet alone in the poster of a children's movie: the Pedophile Temptation Gauntlet. Step 10 of the 11-step road to recovery, the Pedophile Temptation Gauntlet (PTG) must be successfully traversed without signs of visible arousal (yes, "half-wood" counts) before the pedophile can move on to the final step: not kidnapping and raping children.
Apr 24 2007 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Domestic Trailer
Hot on the heels of the international trailer, the domestic Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix trailer flies at U.S. audiences, on a broom or whatever. The added footage in this version rewards democracy, again putting America at the forefront of world freedom and wizard movie trailers. Hooray!
High-resolution over at Yahoo!
Apr 23 2007 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix International Trailer
The new Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix international trailer will send your Bible study group into a tizzy with its glamorized portrait of pagan witchcraft as a rollicking adventure. They may even question your devotion to the church when you're so excited by the black arts. Calm them by reminding them that a crucifix is just a magic wand with a little dead dude hanging off.
Mar 30 2007 New Harry Potter Pictures!
How can I get you outta that cardigan?
ComingSoon has some new pictures from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. If only you had so many pictures of your dead son maybe his memory wouldn't be fading so quickly.
Mar 26 2007 The Golden Compass "Sizzle Reel"
The His Dark Materials trilogy looks to join Harry Potter and Narnia in the genre of young-adult-fantasy-spectacular with its first entry, The Golden Compass. Though the effects are far from finished, what I'm told is referred to as a "sizzle reel" has shown up online, giving a preview of the film. If, like me, you assumed anything with the term sizzle in it included bacon, bikini babes or a Sizzler, you're in for a disappointing surprise.
If you're interested, you'd better hurry. One can only sizzle for so long.
Jan 22 2007 New Harry Potter Photo
Call me crazy, but with this odd hairstyle and his head and neck growing disproportionately large for his frame, this Harry Potter guy is starting to look like a real asshole.
Dec 4 2006 Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix Preview
With a flagrant disregard for proper eyebrow maintenance, Daniel Radcliffe won't be in your Tiger Beat this month. Luckily for his fans, he was in a preview of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix aired on ABC Family this weekend. Ten-year-old girls and pedophiles have already had the privilege, but if you'd like to share in the excitement just click the clip above.
ABC Family-Fact: This six minutes was the network's first departure from 7th Heaven reruns.
Nov 21 2006 New Harry Potter Teaser Trailer
The new trailer for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix brings the characters of the Potter universe into such realistic cityscapes and modern clothing, it's enough to make you dream wizards and magic might really exist in our world. Assuming you're very, very stupid.
Nov 16 2006 First Order of the Phoenix Poster
Behold, the first poster for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, featuring a looming image of Voldemort warning that "You will lose everything." A bit disappointing for a first poster, but we can surely expect a few more from such a big picture, continuing the "lose everything" theme with the taglines: "Specifically, your keys. You'll lose your keys. And you'll already be running really late for something," followed by "Did you check between the couch cushions? Really? Jeez-oh-peez. Oh, I got it. How about your jacket pockets?" And finally ending with, "You should keep a spot near the door where you always place them. I have a little hook thingy where I hang mine. I think it's from Ikea. I'll look it up when I get home and shoot ya over an email."
Oct 23 2006 "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" Nerdiness
Though they missed the opportunity for a clever double entrendre by using "reel" in their title, Real Movie News has managed to get some exclusive pictures from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with Harry and Arthur Weasley. From the looks of these, the first order of the Phoenix was apparently ordering Daniel Radcliffe to look like a huge f***ing nerd. Looking like this may fly at Hogwarts, but if he would have come to my school in this getup he would have quickly learned that no spell will counteract the humiliation of a daily wedgie. And trust me, having your mom call doesn't help either. It only encourages them.
Full sizes over here.
Sep 27 2006 Harry Potter Kids Getting Uglier
I'll be the first to admit it. The little picture in that Scotsman rag was just a cocktease of a Harry Potter preview. Thank your god for ComingSoon.net, which has posted five high-resolution photos from the upcoming movie. If they're any indication of the tone, the new film is going to be more in the style of "gay haircut."
See the rest here.
Sep 25 2006 Fifth Harry Potter Looks to be "Alley-est"
The Scotsman has graciously interrupted its 150 year run of bagpipe and tartan coverage to provide the first still I've seen from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. From the looks of it, the series is continuing the tradition of each episode getting darker and darker as the children get uglier and uglier, progressing with themes of ringer tees, dark alleyways, and Spanish graffiti. Aye.
Aug 27 2006 Driving Lessons Trailer Seems Familiar
The trailer for Driving Lessons has been released, giving the redhead kid from Harry Potter one more shot at acting before turning to drugs and pornography. The plot involves a shy, dweeby boy who becomes best friends with an eccentric old woman as they spend their days together. Legal constraints must have stopped them from actually calling it Harold and Maude, but it luckily still fulfills the fantasies of those with an Oedipus complex.
Mar 23 2006 Gary Oldman to Return to Harry Potter
For those Harry Potter fans nervous about Gary Oldman's unconfirmed involvement in the next film in the series, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, worry no longer. According to GaryOldman.info, a deal has been reached, and Oldman will be reprising his role as Sirius Black. Sadly, the one person disappointed for the news was the creator of GaryOldman.info, who quickly realized this was probably the only time anyone would ever be interested in exclusive Gary Oldman information.
Feb 3 2006 Luna Lovegood Is This Girl
Warner Bros. has released some kind of Harry Potter senior picture of new cast member Evanna Lynch, recently chosen to play Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Still no word on when we'll see the shot where she's with a golden retriever, holding her saxophone.
A lot of the time, I worry what will happen to these child stars after their first role, but something tells me "Luna Lovegood" will be all right. And I'll tell her that when I see her stripping in four years.
