Nov 13 2009 Celebrate Friday the 13th -- With Laughter!
Get it? Because today is Friday the 13th. I'm not just posting it again arbitrarily. I thought it out.
Feb 27 2009 Friday the 13th: Part 2???
I knew 30-year-old teenage guy should have stabbed Jason more times with the machete. Jason survived! And he's going to return for more murder in Friday the 13th: Part 2, which won't be a remake of the original Part 2 because the remake of Part 1 already compressed bits from several of the prior Friday the 13ths, including Part 2, into one movie. Are you following? Here's what the Hollywood Reporter says:
The villain who's defied death more often than Evil Knievel is making another appearance on the big screen. Sources saying that New Line and Platinum Dunes are moving forward on a new “Friday the 13th" and that Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, who wrote the recently released reboot, beginning work on a script for a new picture.There's a catch, though.
Unlike the sophomore efforts of other franchises, the new “Friday” is expected to be not a sequel so much as a follow-up, those familiar with the project say. Jason Voorhees will be the villain, of course, but the new picture is expected to use elements of the original franchise more as a jumping-off point than as a template.
The reason? The reboot drew from the first four pictures in the “Friday” series, and producers are said not to be keen on the plot elements of the half-dozen movies that followed. And Marcus Nispel, who directed the latest film, is a possible but unlikely candidate to helm the “Friday” follow-up; the director is believed to be fielding offers for movies across other genres.
I'm not sure why the producers are so against using elements of the later sequels as inspiration for a second film. Good luck to the writer who has to come up with a better story than Jason rising from the grave, taking Manhattan, going to Hell, fighting Freddy Krueger, and ending up in the future, in space. How would you even avoid those elements?
Feb 16 2009 Your Valentine's Weekend Movie Favorites
After spending nearly $35 at Olive Garden, you still managed to see these movies this weekend:
1. Friday the 13th - $42.2 million, because murder makes for a great Valentine's date movie.
2. He's Just Not That Into You - $19.6 million, because male disinterest also makes for a great Valentine's date movie.
3. Taken - $19.3 million, because paternal vengeance makes for a great Valentine's date movie too.
4. Confessions of a Shopaholic - $15.4 million, because, in case you didn't know, the confessions of a shopaholic make for a great Valentine's date movie.
5. Coraline - $15.3 million, because stop-motion animation involving buttons replacing eyeballss--you guessed it--great for a V-Day date.
Not particularly good for a Valentine's date? International bank conspiracy.
Jan 21 2009 Jason Just Ruined My Slightly-Textured White Wall to Make a Poster
What's with homicidal maniacs writing things in blood so much lately? (I'm looking at you, Joker and Miner Guy.) When writing on walls with feces become passé? Maybe it's less gruesome, but smeared shit will always be much crazier and more frightening in my book (The Book of Human Fluid Calligraphy).
Jan 15 2009 Jason Got This Dude So Bad
You think Jason needs a machete or axe or chainsaw or something to attack supposed teenagers? God, you know so little about Jason's attack methods. Sometimes he just comes up from behind and grabs a dude, you know? And trust me, it's nothing like a hug, and it isn't a gay thing--it's really scary because he's wearing this hockey mask outside of playing the sport. That's why Jason is probably one of our best masked, silent, arbitrary murderers.
Over 15 New Friday the 13th Photos! [Shock Till You Drop]
Dec 9 2008 Here's Jason with a Sack Over His Head
I'm not intimately familiar with the Friday the 13th canon, but apparently, prior to switching to a hockey mask after realizing that it's hard to both run and breathe with thick fabric covering your mouth and nose, Jason Voorhees wore a sack over his head for a while. The producers and writers of the new Friday the 13th say they're hoping to condense all of "the key moments from all of the movies" into this latest chapter, so, as the above shot reveals, we briefly get Jason with his head in a bag.
So if they're incorporating all the key moments from all the previous films, does that mean we get the cyborg Jason of Jason X? I argue that is the most key moment. That's the exact point where even the staunchest Friday the 13th fan had to say, "No, but really, what the fuck is going on here?"
First Photo of Sack Head Jason Voorhees! [Shock Till You Drop]
Dec 5 2008 'Friday the 13th' Trailer
A few 28-year-olds playing high school kids, seemingly without any sort of script besides the instruction to "just sort of hang out, then run and scream if someone is chasing you with a weapon," is basically what I expected from a Friday the 13th remake (and most every horror movie), but I'm glad the writer of this at least had the good sense to make Jason at one point drive a boat around killing people. Hacking someone up with a machete is good and all, but I think we can all agree that sometimes you should get in a boat and hit some swimmers just to assure everyone that you're an indiscriminate madman, not some kind of machete fetishist.
Dec 4 2008 'Friday the 13th' Poster: Hey, It's Jason!
In this remake, the most frightening aspect of Jason is not his machete nor his hockey mask; it's that his neck is thicker than his thigh. That's the most terrifying part of the new Jason. It makes his mask look like a thumbnail.
'Friday the 13th' Poster [Yahoo!]
Oct 23 2008 'Friday the 13th' Teaser Trailer, for Real This Time
Two Friday the 13th remake trailers in two days? It's a near-Halloween miracle! The last one was just a preview for the Scream Awards; this one is the theatrical trailer. Warning: after watching, you'll probably never again be able to see a swinging light fixture without fearfully considering, "Did Jason bump his head into that while getting himself into menacing posing position?"
Continue Reading " 'Friday the 13th' Teaser Trailer, for Real This Time "
Oct 22 2008 Speaking of 'Friday the 13th', Remember How Hilarious Part III Was?
While looking around at Friday the 13th stuff earlier, I ran across this: Friday the 13th Part III with dubbed-over laugh track from a Beverly Hills Episode. It's sort of funny how the laughter immediately transforms the film into a run-of-the-mill sitcom, but the I think the bigger point to take away from this the flipside: that it turns out every bad sitcom has basically been Friday the 13th Part III without the murder.
Continue Reading " Speaking of 'Friday the 13th', Remember How Hilarious Part III Was? "
Oct 22 2008 'Friday the 13th' Teaser Looks How You'd Figure It Would
Yeah, this is what I'd expect a Friday the 13th remake to look like. It's like a video version of a friend trying to explain the idea of Friday the 13th to you: "There's this camp, and this dude Jason is like hacking at these teenagers with knives, and he's got this hockey mask. Maybe there was a trap door or something? I don't know. I could be making that part up. I only saw one of them and it was a long time ago."
Oh, so like this:
Continue Reading " 'Friday the 13th' Teaser Looks How You'd Figure It Would "
Sep 29 2008 Hey, It's Jason Without Hockey Face Gear
Someone on the Horror Bid forum has posted a collection of set shots from the upcoming remake of Friday the 13th, and with them comes our first look at a hockey mask-less Jason. It looks like someone shaved the moss and vines off of Swamp Thing:
Continue Reading " Hey, It's Jason Without Hockey Face Gear "
Aug 22 2008 New 'Friday the 13th' Shot: Jason Has the Beautiful Flowing Locks
I thought the long, shimmering, blonde hair was stupid at first, but I could see how it might add another layer. "He's been here: Janet is dead and my bottle of Suave is nearly empty."
'Friday the 13th' Image Revisits Jason Voorhees! [Bloody Disgusting]
Jul 29 2008 Here's the Poster for the 'Old-Fashioney Hockey Murderer' Remake
God, how long until someone remakes Claw Glove Dream Gentleman? Nothing is sacred.
'Friday the 13th' Poster [Latino Review]
Jul 21 2008 Jason Still Looks Like Jason, Only with an Enormous Neck
The first look at the new Jason Voorhees, famed teenager murderer of some of the Friday the 13th series, has turned up at Shock Till You Drop (Thanks, Joshua). Even though this remake is obviously pointless, at least it's good to see the villain hasn't been updated with some kind of branded snowboarding mask or something. He just has neck veins the width of toothpaste tubes. There's a new terror lurking in the woods, and his name is roid rage.
Jun 13 2008 First Look at Jason's 'Friday the 13th' Mask (Hint: It's a Hockey Mask!)
In honor of today's date being Friday mixed with a 13th, MTV has posted an exclusive video from the set of the Friday the 13th remake no one wants. Why is this notable? Because it supposedly provides the first look at Jason Voorhees' mask! I couldn't get the clip to work, so I'll just have to imagine that it's some sort of old sporting equipment that covers the face, slightly dirtied to give the "gritty: like it's real!" sense the director probably intends. Hopefully you ("you" being someone interested in a Michael Bay-produced remake of Friday the 13th) have better luck playing it.
Apr 3 2008 Amanda Righetti Joins 'Friday the 13th', Olive Garden Menu
Just as there is absolutely no question that the world desperately needs a Michael Bay-produced remake of Friday the 13th, it is also a certainty that such a production requires a key hot girl to run, probably wet and jiggling, from the killer. Otherwise, why do I care? To fill the part, Variety reports a deal is nearly signed with Amanda Righetti, star of Return to House on Haunted Hill (though she wasn't in the first one, making her return a bit suspect). So you can stop worrying that, like your last house party, Friday the 13th will turn into "a total sausage-fest."
And if you wondering if her name is fun to say with a thick, stereotypical Italian accent: Yes! It is!
Amanda Righetti [Variety]
