Nov 18 2009 Dr. Grant, Matrix, et al. Join 'Guardians of Ga'Hoole'
Sam Neill (Merlin, creepy red meat supporter, raptor enthusiast), Geoffrey Rush (Captain Barbossa), Hugo Weaving (elf, evil Matrixer) and David Wenham (Faramir) have signed on to provide voices for Guardians of Ga'Hoole, Zack Snyder's upcoming film that will bring his trademark excessive slow-motion into the world of 3D animation:
The big-budget fantasy film, in production in Sydney and directed by Zack Snyder, also will feature the voices of Aussie actors Emily Barclay, Abbie Cornish, Emilie de Ravin, Ryan Kwanten and Jay Laga'aia, as well as English actors Miriam Margolyes, Helen Mirren and Jim Sturgess.The film follows Soren, a young owl enthralled by his father's epic stories of the Guardians of Ga'Hoole, a mythic band of winged warriors who had fought a great battle to save all of owlkind from the evil Pure Ones.
Good luck at school tomorrow, guys. Those older bullies are going to have a field day calling you "Guardians of Gay Holes."
Nov 18 2009 'Percy Jackson' International Trailer: Your iPod Touch Could Fashionaly Save Your Life
Say you're a half-god teenager up against Uma Thurman Medusa. What sort of reflective surface do you think you could you use against her while also communicating a strong brand image? What has the necessary sheen to direct her image back at her while at the same time letting her know, before she permanently turns to stone, that you care about cost, quality, and conformity in your choice of music player? What item could cast back Medusa's powerful gaze and download an application called "iFart"?
Find out in the new Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Zeus and his Lightning Bolt trailer!
Nov 11 2009 'Clash of the Titans' Trailer: This Sweet Music Makes Me Think Something Awesome Should Be Happening!
Imagine if Hercules: The Legendary Journeys had just a few thousand more dollars in its budget. How many extra eight or nine hours Kevin Sorbo could have afforded to spend in the gym; how many tens of more extras could have been employed; how much slightly more realistic the giant CGI scorpions might have appeared; how they could have maybe got Liam Neeson to do a brief cameo to slam his fist on something. Wouldn't that have been pretty mediocre?
Imagine no longer! That Sliders parallel universe is now:
Nov 4 2009 'Clash of the Titans' Involves So Much Yelling
Even the disembodied heads and winged horses scream in this thing. The script must be all vowels and exclamation points.
More low-res Clash of the Titans posters here (thanks, Keno).
Oct 30 2009 John Rhys-Davies Has Left the Party (John Rhys-Davies Has Not Perished)
You will never see Sallah's face in dwarf facial appliances again. Speaking to Empire, John Rhys-Davies--Gimli of Lord of the Rings--explained that he's already declined appearing in future Tolkien adventures (though, in a parallel Sliders universe, he's probably playing every role in The Hobbit):
While Gimli doesn't appear in The Hobbit, his father Gloin does, so we asked him recently whether he'd be back for another go."I've already been asked and to be honest with you, I wouldn't. I have already completely ruled it out. There's a sentimental part of me that would love to be involved again. Really I am not sure my face can take that sort of punishment any more."
His mouth says his face can't take the punishment, but his résumé says he's just too busy making original movies for SyFy and Cinemax.
Oct 28 2009 Extended 'Alice in Wonderland' Trailer: Now with Moments of New Footage
Just in case you're one of those people so excited about Alice in Wonderland that the very thought of it makes you do those little claps you do at your chest where it looks like you're both praying and applauding, here's a new trailer for Tim Burton's long overdue adaptation that I'm told features a couple new shots.
Prepare to enter a world where your queen appears to have been drawn by a Times Square caricature artist who was told his client liked clowns!
Continue Reading " Extended 'Alice in Wonderland' Trailer: Now with Moments of New Footage "
Oct 7 2009 New 'Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus' Trailer Still Leaves 'Imaginarium' Undefined
Here's the new Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus trailer, in all its final-Heath-Ledger-performance, phallic-nosed, multiple-actored glory. If this doesn't make you want to see it, you clearly have an issue with alternately carnivalesque and candy-lacquered surreality making your eyes lose their eye-minds:
Oct 7 2009 This Film Projector Brings Films to LIFE! (Probably?)
Can we fast-track this?
Disney has preemptively picked up "Reel to Real," a family fantasy pitch by Eric Saiet and Andrea Maywhort-Scully. The story involves a magical film projector.
A magic film projector! That's almost as good as Adam Sandler's magic universal remote. Or Adam Sandler's magic bedtime stories. I just hope the sorcery within this device's bulb is powerful enough to grant a cute animal the ability to talk and express comic sexuality. Otherwise, what's the point?
Oct 5 2009 Liam Neeson Equips Zeus Armor; +5 Defense
The first photos of Liam Neeson as Zeus in Clash of the Titans have shown up in Entertainment Weekly. I was a bit skeptical of the amount of t-shirt I was seeing in other costumes, but in this shot, I have to say, I'm pretty impressed by the degree of authenticity here. That's an authentic Asian fan being waved by an actual Asian woman subservient to Liam Neeson! THAT'S authenticity! Even Schindler's List just used a box fan between takes.
Oct 1 2009 Sam Worthington Scowling for 'Clash of the Titans'
Popular in Ancient Greece, still popular today: T-shirts. Give them a shot.
Empire 'Clash of the Titans' Cover [Empire]
Sep 15 2009 'Solomon Kane' Trailer: The Philanthropist Murders Some Freaks
Want to see a bunch of disgusting, unholy freaks getting killed by a man who appears to be taking part in a high fantasy Thanksgiving play? Because, quite honestly, if you can manage to make that the only criteria you're looking for in a movie, this trailer for Solomon Kane looks kind of awesome:
Continue Reading " 'Solomon Kane' Trailer: The Philanthropist Murders Some Freaks "
Sep 10 2009 If Alanis Morissette Were a Monster
There you have it.
More Where the Wild Thing Are character posters on the Facebook-style utility webpage known as MySpace.
Aug 24 2009 'Vampire's Assistant' Poster Could Use More John C. Reilly
I was going to comment on how this looks like the cover to some ridiculous young adult book, but then I remembered this film is based on some kind of ridiculous young adult book. So, uh, never mind, I guess. Good job helping me so vividly recollect what a Scholastic book order form looks like.
Aug 24 2009 'John Carter of Mars' Gets Englisher
Samantha Morton (Synecdoche, New York), Polly Walker (Rome), Dominic West (McNulty!) have signed on to Andrew Stanton's adaptation of John Carter of Mars:
Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins and Willem Dafoe already are on board the production, which centers on a Civil War veteran (Kitsch) who finds himself mysteriously transported to Mars, where he becomes embroiled with the planet's warring people.Morton plays Sola, the daughter of Dafoe's Tars Tarkas, who must hide her softer side from her warmongering race.
West plays Sab Than, prince of the Zodangans who believes he is entitled to rule Mars.
Walker plays Sarkoja, a merciless, tyrannical Thark.
I'm pretty excited to see basically anything the director of Finding Nemo and WALL-E is working on, but as someone unfamiliar with the property, let me tell ya, all of these character and plot descriptions sound like the insane ramblings of Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer:
Aug 11 2009 'Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus' Trailer a Treat for the Eyes (Unless You're Colorblind)
If you're one of the many who heard about Heath Ledger's final film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and thought, "I have no idea what an imaginarium is; a gymnasium where the mini-tramps are clouds and the dodgeballs are dreams?", you're in luck. This new trailer should explain everything. Actually, no; it won't really explain that much at all. I still have no idea what an imaginarium is. But if I had to guess from this trailer, I'd say it's wherever you go when you're on a lot of acid:
Aug 10 2009 New 'Where the Wild Things Are' Trailer Will Destroy You
After my unplanned absence Friday ("shit happens" novelty t-shirts were right: shit does happen), let's start the catch-up process with the new trailer for Where the Wild Things Are. Director Spike Jonze has created an emotion microwave--two-and-a-half minutes and your heart should be warmed throughout:
Continue Reading " New 'Where the Wild Things Are' Trailer Will Destroy You "
Jul 22 2009 Tim Burton's 'Alice in Wonderland' Trailer: Yup, That's a Tim Burton
Really, no further description is necessary or possible. Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland could only exist as one thing, and this is it:
Continue Reading " Tim Burton's 'Alice in Wonderland' Trailer: Yup, That's a Tim Burton "
Jul 14 2009 'Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief' Teaser: Probably One of Our Best Elevators
When I think about it--remembering Willy Wonka's Great Glass Elevator, the proposed space elevator, Star Trek turbolifts, the classic arcade game Elevator Action's elevators, Doogie Howser's freight elevator in the later seasons when he lived in that sweet loft--I've seen some pretty great elevators in my time. It's going to take a lot for an elevator to impress this elevator-jaded eye. It would have to be something really amazing. Something like, I don't know, an elevator that shoots THROUGH the fucking Empire State Building to FUCKING OLYMPUS! (Olympus floor designated by omega, obviously):
Jun 23 2009 Inside the Reflective Surface: New 'Alice in Wonderland' Images!
Elijah Wood in Eccentric Zombie Carrot Top costume says "Hello." USA Today and Yahoo have posted some new shots from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, and I think you'll be surprised how much they look like the results of a "celebrities as Alice in Wonderland characters" Photoshop contest:
Continue Reading " Inside the Reflective Surface: New 'Alice in Wonderland' Images! "
Jun 17 2009 New 'Half-Blood Prince Posters': God, Harry Potter, Kiss Her! KISS HER!
New Harry Potter posters, Harry Potteriacs! There are finally enough that, if you start looking at Half-Blood Prince posters from the start right now, the last one in this set will be your final image you see before you die.
Links below for the others:
- Ron in a Lifetime Movie about a jealous love triangle.
- Hermione escaping unnecessary PDA, and birds.
- Female magician equivalent of '50s gang henchman who always wore 3D glasses.
- Sir Ian McKellen rear shot.
