Nov 12 2008 'Australia' Finds a Happy Ending
Australia spoilers! Looks like Watchmen isn't the only film that's had its ending changed. According to The Guardian, when Baz Luhrmann's romantic epic Australia opens in two weeks, it may not have the original, heart-rending finale the director planned:
It seems the film's tragic ending proved a little too harrowing for Hollywood studio chiefs. After "intense" discussions with officials at 20th Century Fox, Luhrmann agreed to rewrite the final scenes to keep alive Kidman's love interest, played by Hugh Jackman.The decision was made after negative responses to the movie's initial cut at test screenings.
One reviewer said: "There is no reason to kill off Wolvie [Jackman played Wolverine in the X-Men trilogy]."
Yeah, trust that reviewer. He knows what he's talking about. There's no reason Wolvie should be killed. Wolvie has a mutant healing factor and an adamantium skeleton, and he's awesome. You have to, like, decapitate him to stop his superhuman regeneration. Everyone knows that. Pull your head out, Luhrmann. And while you're at it, you should also listen to "Wolvie" guy's other suggestion that, "The Others should show her tits and it turns out she's Mystique and Wolvie has been doing her. What then, ya know?"
Oct 17 2008 Brad Pitt Playing Space Odysseus
Warner Bros. and Brad Pitt are teaming with director George Miller in adapting a film version of Homer's epic poem The Odyssey ...IN SPACE! From Variety:
After turning Homer's epic poem "The Iliad" into the 2004 film "Troy," Warner Bros. and Brad Pitt are teaming with George Miller to adapt the Greek poet's other masterwork, "The Odyssey."Their intention is to transfer the tale to a futuristic setting in outer space.
Warner Bros. has quietly set up "The Odyssey," and the early hope is that Pitt will star and Miller will direct, with Pitt's Plan B producing.Pitt played Achilles in the Wolfgang Petersen-directed "Troy," a global blockbuster that David Benioff adapted from "The Iliad."
So long, Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey! There's a new space odyssey in town, and it has Brad Pitt and more obvious allegory! Do you think they'll try keep the names, but give them a sci-fi spin? Telemachus would be pretty awesome as the television-headed cyborg Tele-machinus 5.
Oct 13 2008 'Australia' Poster: It's 'Gone with the Wind' Meets 'The Other Sister'
Can the kiss of Hugh Jackman turn Wax Nicole Kidman back into Semi-human, Usual Nicole Kidman? Only one films holds the answer. This November... get Australia'ed.
Australia Poster [Trailer Addict]
Oct 1 2008 New 'Australia' Trailer: A Romantic Adventure with Wolverine and The Others
If Crocodile Dundee II were a big-budget Lifetime Original Movie based loosely on Pearl Harbor, this is what it would look like. Except this is directed by Moulin Rouge's Baz Luhrmann, stars Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman, and will surely be nominated for several Oscars, whereas the Lifetime version would be called Danielle Steel's Down Under, and would be watched by only sad housewives. It looks pretty good if you're into that whole sweeping, epic romance sort of thing (no one is judging you):
Continue Reading " New 'Australia' Trailer: A Romantic Adventure with Wolverine and The Others "
Jul 23 2008 Berg Directing 'Hercules'; Sorbo Waiting for Call
Hancock director Peter Berg has plans to produce and direct a film based on Hercules: The Thracian Wars, a comic from the same company that just sold their thunder-shooting gun comic to John Woo. From Variety:
Berg will produce and will develop to direct "Hercules: The Thracian Wars," a co-production of Spyglass Entertainment, Berg’s Film 44 and Radical Pictures. Spyglass and Universal will co-finance the film.Ryan Condal will write the script, based on a five-issue comicbook series by Steve Moore that debuted in May through Radical Publishing.
Is anyone else thinking who I'm thinking for the lead? Perhaps the only human who could ever truly portray Hercules? Yes, that's who I mean. At 50 years old, Kevin Sorbo is still the clear choice for the starring role. Below the cut, five reasons this is true, culled entirely from his IMDB biography.
Continue Reading " Berg Directing 'Hercules'; Sorbo Waiting for Call "
May 20 2008 Baz Luhrmann's 'Australia' Trailer--Now With ACTUAL Aussies!
Set in northern Australia just prior to World War II, Baz Luhrmann's Australia (starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman)--like his prior work on Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge!--looks like a visually rich, masterfully composed piece of cinematic artistry. Seldom is a trailer capable of portraying equal parts epic, romantic adventure and steak sauce commercial. This one does it.
Observe, under the cut.
Continue Reading " Baz Luhrmann's 'Australia' Trailer--Now With ACTUAL Aussies! "
Apr 25 2008 Del Toro is Definitely Doing 'The Hobbit'
Guillermo del Toro, director of Hellboy and Pan's Labyrinth--and the same man who, at NYCC, told a 15-year-old that "the pubes are popping"--has been formally announced as the director of The Hobbit and its planned sequel. This had been rumored as a nearly sure thing for some time, but this was the first absolute confirmation. I, for one, am pretty confident del Toro has the skills to pull this off. Particularly the scenes where Gandalf shoves his eyeballs in his palms and chases Bilbo around.
Guillermo del Toro to direct 'Hobbit' [Variety]
Apr 18 2008 'Australia' Photos Teach Proper Lady-Care
The official site for Baz Luhrmann's appropriately-named Australian epic, Australia, has been updated with a bunch of new production stills. Like this one of a mounted Hugh Jackman petting the subservient Nicole Kidman, for instance. More here, if you're so inclined.
Apr 9 2008 Earth vs. Moon! Earth vs. Moon!
After an intense bidding war, Universal has reportedly picked up a new script by Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese in a deal "in the mid- to high-six figures." What makes this screenplay so valuable? Only that it has the most promising title ever written! Earth vs. Moon! EARTH VS. MOON! Other than that, no plot elements have been revealed outside of it being a "sci-fi epic." But really, do you need them? It's the classic battle of Earth vs. Moon! It could be Earth Man vs. Moon Man, Standard Earth Man vs. Earth Man Who Has Colonized the Moon, Earth Man vs. Moon Alien, Anthropomorphized Earth vs. Anthropomorphized Moon, Earth Man Who Thinks Earth is Better Than the Moon Engaging in Debate with an Opposing Opinion (that the moon is, in fact, better)--all of these sound equally appealing to me. Let's just get this thing made.
Then again, there's probably no way any film could live up to the many Earth vs. Moon I've already conjured in my mind, so maybe it's best just to leave it at as is, pure title. You go to the theater, pay $11 for your ticket to Earth vs. Moon, and you're shown the name in bold, bright letters. After a few minutes of this, more words pop up on the screen: "just think about it."
(Above: Someone who Google Image Search informs me may be one of the aforementioned Moon Men.)
'Moon' lands at Universal [Hollywood Reporter]
Feb 21 2008 New '10,000 B.C. (or so)' Trailer
I have to wonder, was the "a world lost in time" tagline conceived before or after it was realized that 10,000 B.C. was completely and hopelessly lost in its own twisted chronology? Roland Emmerich's latest blockbuster epic looks like one of those Discovery Channel shows where, out of ideas for programming, they start disproving crazy hypotheses under the guise that some scientists actually believe them. "Could saber-toothed tigers have existed alongside the Mayans? If so, might they have been bus-sized? Maybe Ancient Egyptians had lasers, too? Watch how we spent our year's entire effects budget to find out."
Truthfully, those shows are usually pretty great, and if Emmerich had stuck with that format, only breaking up the action for a scientist to explain why it would never happen, he may have had something. Unfortunately, he had to add a plot and some dreadlocks, and that will be its downfall.
Jan 31 2008 AM Poster Post: 'Prince Caspian' Makes Good Money
The good thing about Chronicles of Narnia posters are that, once the movie is done, we can replace these faces with U.S. presidents and it would make a great new currency design. Switch the castle with the Capitol Building, too, but keep the lion, for the hell of it.
Dec 13 2007 10,000 B.C. (or so) Trailer
It takes a special kind of talent to combine massive, over-the-top action scenes with historical accuracy of The Flintstones. Unsurprisingly, it's the same kind of talent that combined Ancient Egypt with portals and lasers, unpatriotic aliens with computer viruses, and giant lizards with stupidity.
That's right, Roland Emmerich, director of Stargate, Independence Day, and Godzilla, has a new one on the horizon, and it looks right up there with all his best. Called 10,000 B.C., it could have more accurately been named Anything That Seemed Sort of Cool in a Fairly Large Window of the Past, Across an Impossibly Diverse Geography. Riding wooly mammoths in an empire at-par with the Aztecs? Yeah, I think I remember that segment in VH1's I Love the 10,000 B.C.s. Classic scene of the time.
Nov 6 2007 AM Poster Post: 'Beowulf' Bewildered by Flame
Even though I was forced to bore myself through Beowulf in high school, then again in college, I'll definitely have to check out this version now that I'm reminded it stars these frightening, soulless near-humanoids. I forgot how much better a tired, centuries-old epic can seem when, rather than actual actors, precise computer-replicas of those actors are used to act out the same scenes with their jarring, emotionless eyes. Technology has come so far.
Final Beowulf Poster [IMPA]
Sep 5 2007 R-Rated Beowulf Trailer
There's a new R-rated trailer to Robert Zemeckis's all-CGI epic, Beowulf, so you can add some much-needed computer-generated blood and breasts to your day. Watching this latest trailer, I think I can safely say that when Zemeckis promised to deliver a photo-realistic CGI world, he meant it. Assuming, that is, that the photos being referred to were photos of old video game cut-scenes.
PS: If you're having a hard time remembering that the main character's name is Beowulf, don't worry. He'll forcefully remind you a few times throughout the trailer.
Beowful Red-Band Trailer [Official Site]
Jul 30 2007 International Beowulf Trailer
This international trailer for Robert Zemeckis's Beowulf still features essentially the same creepy shots of too-realistic-for-anyone's-good CGI characters, and you'll still be left wondering what the point was of creating such realistic versions of the voice actors instead of just using them as actors, but it does carry one advantage: a mostly naked Angelina Jolie. I mean, she's really only about as naked as Mystique from X-Men, and of course it's the aforementioned disturbingly-realistic-but-not-quite-right version of Angelina Jolie, not flesh and blood, but it's still better than the crumpled JC Penney lingerie ad wedged between your mattress and box spring.
Jul 18 2007 The Last Legion Trailer
Despite starring a huge Bollywood star, Colin Firth and Thomas Sangster, and telling the story of The Sword in the Stone, I assure you this trailer is not one of those popular "mash-ups" where they've mixed Love Actually with King Arthur and that Little Superstar character, dubbing it "Little Love Excaliburly." It might be better if it were though.
In better quality here.
May 23 2007 The Golden Compass Trailer
Even if you don't care about extravagant fantasy epics, you'd better just go ahead and watch the trailer for The Golden Compass, the first chapter of the His Dark Materials series. It's bound to be the next Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings thing that everyone's raving about, so you're going to look like an asshole if you can't banter about how cool the talking polar bear is.
High quality versions here.
Apr 19 2007 The Golden Age Trailer
Recognizing that calling the Elizabeth sequel Elizabeth II might make it confusing due to the current, frumpy Elizabeth II, the film will soon arrive as Elizabeth: The Golden Age. This chapter of the queen's life seems more like Braveheart with more elaborate costumes, with Cate Blanchett shouting inspirational battle cries and leading armies on horseback. Take your daughter and change the way she plays 'princess' from here on out, which until now was by going on high speed chases with the paparazzi since you took her to The Queen.
Will this be Blanchett's chance to take the Oscar many feel she was robbed of in 1999, or will, as many predict, Eddie Murphy take home the award in every category, just because Norbit "is that good"?
Mar 12 2007 300 Wins the Weekend
"My opening is even bigger than your mom's, sucka."
This weekend, 300 took the top spot in the box office, bringing in an estimated $70 million and destroying its closest competitor, four past-their-prime actors playing four past-their-prime suburbanites in Wild Hogs. The massive earnings gives the epic the achievement of highest March opening ever, stealing the title from Ice Age 2: The Meltdown, which was apparently very popular, as well as becoming the third-highest opening for an R-rated film, just under The Matrix Reloaded and The Passion of the Christ. It also gained the honor, bestowed by the man behind me at the theater, of being "the most f***ed up crazy ass shit" he'd ever seen. This award was given about fifteen times during the course of the movie.
Mar 7 2007 Paradise Lost: The Movie
"Sorry, dudes, you just lost paradise."
The Milton classic Paradise Lost, the epic poem about Lucifer, the temptation of Adam and Eve, their expulsion from Eden, and the high school students forced to read it, is apparently in talks to be made into a feature film. In typical Hollywood style, the whole "fall of man" bit is being largely omitted in favor of more on the sweet battle between the armies of Heaven and Hell (seriously).
Currently, Heath Ledger and Daniel Craig are the top choices for Lucifer, though Oprah is now making a run for the title with the extension of her show into 2011 and the discovery of the Oprah Toddler Slave Camps.
