Sep 10 2008 'Pride and Glory' Poster Demands a Sacrifice
"Truth. Honor. Loyalty. Family. What are you willing to sacrifice?" Maybe it's a rhetorical question--but maybe it's not! Let's figure out which one to sacrifice:
Truth
For: Without truth, everything is a lie. WHAT'S REAL ANYMORE?
Against: If we know everything is a lie, we can just start asking the opposite. Take that, liar.
Honor
For: Klingons and the Japanese hold honor above all else. Without it, how can you have pride or glory?
Against: Last night I watched two minutes of what was apparently a half-hour of people trying to squeeze themselves through various holes in a rapidly-approaching wall before it pushed them into a glowing pool. I'm fairly certain most of our society's honor is already gone.
Loyalty
For: There's nothing like knowing you can count on someone or something to support you when you need it.
Against: If television has taught me anything, it's that my best friend is still always going to eventually sleep with my girlfriend.
Family
For: There is no connection stronger than the bond of family.
Against: Hey, I wouldn't have to buy a plane ticket every Thanksgiving!
Conclusion:
I think I'm going to have to go with the family one. I could totally use that plane fare for a Wii.
Sep 9 2008 'Leaves of Grass' Poster Has Someone Questioning His Agent
Wait a minute. There's a movie about twin brothers--played by the same actor--once who's a philosophy professor, one who's a marijuana grower--and Eddie Murphy isn't involved? Come on! Didn't anyone realize how funny it would be if, due to excessive "munchies," the marijuana grower was fat? And if the professor was nutty?
Leaves of Grass Poster [IMPA]
Jun 10 2008 Hear Hulk Say 'Hulk Smash,' Like That Toy With the Voice Backpack Did
As tends to happen, I somehow ended up watching American Gladiators last night, making it the only show I've seen every episode of while putting absolutely no effort into doing so. It's like Wolf's distinctive call (howling like a wolf) transcends the television, letting you know, wherever you are, whatever you might be doing, you should instead be watching over-muscled freaks and common man wage war with foam pads.
In last night's episode---sometime around the twentieth shot of the audience wearing giant green fists, just after the exclusive preview for The Incredible Hulk but prior to the seeing the green-painted Gladiator whose voice was dubbed over with growls--I noticed a subtle theme emerging, and I decided that I was done delivering Hulk news. American Gladiators had now covered every possible aspect of it, and done it far more ridiculously than I could have ever dreamed.
But then I saw this clip where you hear Lou Ferrigno (who was in the American Gladiators audience, incidentally--surprise!) as the voice of the Hulk (which, as I've said, makes total sense), so I thought, what the hell, one more Incredible Hulk thing. Seriously though, this is it.
Continue Reading " Hear Hulk Say 'Hulk Smash,' Like That Toy With the Voice Backpack Did "
Jun 9 2008 'Incredible Hulk' Commercial Exploits 'Iron Man' Popularity
Smart thing done in this new TV commercial for The Incredible Hulk: revealing that Robert Downey Jr. has a brief cameo as Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. Stupid thing done this new TV commercial for The Incredible Hulk: revealing that Liv Tyler acting style is pretending she's a totem honoring meekness. See both chilling reveals below the cut.
Continue Reading " 'Incredible Hulk' Commercial Exploits 'Iron Man' Popularity "
Jun 2 2008 New 'Incredible Hulk' Trailer Both Best and Most Ridiculous
According to AICN, there's currently a new Incredible Hulk trailer being handed out as a promotion at Best Buy. But don't worry, you don't need to leave the house to obtain it--it's on YouTube! This trailer really makes up for the lack of any painfully-long, nearly-laughable, narrated exposition in the previous trailers.
Also: Variety reports Lou Ferigno will be providing the voice of Hulk's primitive cries of "Hulk smash!", which makes sense, since he was the makeup-slathered body of the completely mute Hulk of the '70s show. Or maybe that makes no sense at all.
Continue Reading " New 'Incredible Hulk' Trailer Both Best and Most Ridiculous "
May 14 2008 New 'Incredible Hulk' Trailer Emerges from Earth's Crust
When the new Hulk movie was announced, it was emphasized that this was a reboot of the franchise. Forget the Ang Lee Hulk; this is all new, by someone less respected than Ang Lee. So why is this new trailer stressing that this is the return of the "most powerful superhero on Earth," as if it's a sequel? And why is it so heavily-implied that Hulk is born of the Earth's crust? Is there a new, stupider origin story I don't know about? If I hadn't already bought the green body paint, I've be strongly reconsidering camping outside a theater in-costume for this.
Continue Reading " New 'Incredible Hulk' Trailer Emerges from Earth's Crust "
Apr 30 2008 'Incredible Hulk' Trailer is Incredibly Dull--Except for the Part with the Power Suit
After watching this new trailer to the Edward Norton-starring remake of The Incredible Hulk, I can safely say it's not worth talking about. There's no reason to continue discussing it. It's not good; it's not bad; it's just nothing. It's everything you'd expect it to be and slightly less. So instead of wasting my time attempting to describe it to you, I've taken IMDB's summary for a far superior Hulk movie, Suburban Commando, and adapted it to fit this mundane trailer. It works well enough.
[Edward Norton] is an interstellar hero, righting wrongs, etc. His [skin] is [green] after a [gamma irradiation] with a [government] nasty and he must hide out on [Brazil?] until [he] can [cure that]. He leaves his [Liv Tyler] at home, but still finds himself unable to [stop turning into the Hulk and whatnot] and so mixes it up with bad [Gen. William Hurt], offensive paperboys, [another giant green asshole] and the like. Then the family he's staying with finds his power suit and the father tries it on.
See it in HD here, or slightly more conveniently below the cut. (Thanks to Kyle and Joe.)
Apr 30 2008 New 'Incredible Hulk' Images Alleviate No Concerns
These new images from Incredible Hulk have done nothing to ease my concerns that it will be terrible. They have, however, helped me realize that Gary Busey is a far more accurate abomination than the actual Abomination:
Apr 15 2008 Everybody Talkin' at New 'Incredible Hulk' Poster
So it's the Taxi Driver poster... but with a giant pair of jeans behind him. Fair enough.
Mar 13 2008 'Incredible Hulk' Trailer
Judging by its trailer, The Incredible Hulk may not go down as the franchise watershed moment that Batman Begins was--in fact, I'm pretty positive it won't. But at least it's got a couple giant green freaks fighting each other in the streets of Manhattan, and that's something. Hopefully it won't go the Ang Lee route and include comic panel transitions, lest we momentarily forget we're watching a comic book turned into a movie. If you didn't catch it on every single Viacom station last night, watch the new trailer, below the cut.
Mar 7 2008 'Incredible Hulk' Teaser Trailer Coming Wednesday
The disconcerting lack of footage from Edward Norton's questionable The Incredible Hulk has had many a blogger concerned about the quality of the production. Considering that the movie comes out in three months, what are they waiting for? Is it possible they've not created the gamma-irradiated masterpiece they hoped? I guess we'll find out--at least to a degree--next Wednesday, when the first teaser trailer premiers.
The first teaser trailer for hotly anticipated summer superhero epic THE INCREDIBLE HULK will have its exclusive broadcast debut in a simultaneous “roadblock” on seven networks on Wednesday, March 12. This first opportunity to see material from the motion picture will be aired at approximately 9:56 p.m. EST/6:56 p.m. PST on MTV, MTVU, MTV2, VH1, Spike TV, Nick at Nite and CMT.Following the on-air premiere, the trailer will be immediately posted on MTV.com for an exclusive period. The trailer will begin showing in theaters across the country on Friday, March 14, with prints of Rogue Pictures’ DOOMSDAY.
Since they're calling this a "teaser trailer", I'm guessing they still won't show us a clear image of the eponymous hero, but here's hoping he has that little silver backpack that makes him talk.
Feb 27 2008 'Hulk' Update: Bruce Banner Wears Grandpa Shorts
"Oh, I'm going to be turning into the Hulk? Let me throw on my high-waisted shorts real quick, so I don't ruin another pair of Dockers."
New Incredible Hulk Pics [Empire]
Dec 28 2007 First Look at How Incredible Edward Norton is in 'The Incredible Hulk'
The first two shots from The Incredible Hulk have been released, revealing that Edward Norton as Bruce Banner wears Dockers and his watch on the inside of his wrist. So cool. Summary:
Edward Norton stars in this new beginning as Bruce Banner, a scientist desperately hunting for a cure to the gamma radiation that poisoned his cells and unleashes the unbridled force of rage within him - The Incredible Hulk.
You know, if he's really desperate to find a cure, you'd think he wouldn't go by "The Incredible Hulk." The whole "incredible" thing makes the search for a cure seem sort of disingenuous. It's like someone saying, "I have to find a cure before the full moon!"
"Really? Why?"
"I'll become This Really Awesome Werewolf."
"Are you sure you're trying to cure this?"
"Yeah, definitely. You think I like how incredibly awesome I become during a full moon?"
"Well, it just seems like you really build-up how great this werewolf side is, calling it awesome all the time."
"Let me make this perfectly clear: when the full moon's light transforms me, I am a monster! Just a really, really awesome monster."
And so on. See the Bruce Banner "Docker Science Slacks" ad, under the cut.
Continue Reading " First Look at How Incredible Edward Norton is in 'The Incredible Hulk' "
Dec 5 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened...
- Adam Brody has been more-or-less confirmed as The Flash in Justice League of America. In related news, I've added a dash more paprika to my pot of boiled shit. [Cinematical]
- Rudy and Hoosiers director David Anspaugh has signed on for Phenom, the Chris Brown-starring tale of a high school basketball player who goes pro after discovering his father is the NBA's top player. No word on whether Judith Light or William Devane will be reprising their roles. [Variety]
- Edward Norton will take on the Eddie Murphy-style task of playing dual roles in Leaves of Grass, a comedic thriller written and directed by Tim Blake Nelson. According to Variety, "Norton will play identical twins, one an Ivy League classics professor and the other a hedonistic pot-smoking career criminal." And you said no one could make a stupider version of The Patty Duke Show.
- Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to star in Unfinished Country, where he'll play "the chief administrator of an overcrowded hospital located in the middle of South Africa's violent Soweto ghettos." But I bet he's totally a bad-ass chief administrator of an overcrowded hospital. [Hollywood Reporter]
- French actor Mathieu Amalric (above) has scored the lead villain role in Bond 22. Also, he's won the role of "creepy sexual predator" in every Dateline reenactment from here on. [Empire]
Nov 8 2007 'Pride and Glory' Trailer Reinvigorates Cop Movies, Jon Voight
It seems like there's another cop corruption drama every week, so hearing that another one is on the horizon with Colin Farrell and Edward Norton came as no surprise (besides the surprise that Mark Wahlberg wasn't involved).
However, after seeing the trailer for Pride and Glory, I have to admit it looks pretty decent. Norton appears to be bringing his best performance, and goatee, since American History X, Farrell seems as intense and thickly-eyebrowed as ever, and even Jon Voight appears to still have some legitimate acting left in him after Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, Karate Dog, and Bratz. Personally, after starring in a film based on glamorous, deformed, teenage dolls, I would have killed myself, but making a surprising comeback is another equally valid option.
Trailer under the cut.
Continue Reading " 'Pride and Glory' Trailer Reinvigorates Cop Movies, Jon Voight "
Nov 7 2007 'Incredible Hulk' Shooting in Brazilian Slums
Like Pelé, Bossa Nova, and Gisele Bündchen many great things have come from Brazil. So it's not a bad place to start shooting The Incredible Hulk if they're trying to remake the franchise into something more bankable, or at least more danceable.
These shots from the set still don't reveal the new Hulk's final design, but at least they show us that Edward Norton as Bruce Banner is a viable option for Gap Casual ads, or could play an adult version of one of the kids from The Sandlot.
Oct 2 2007 New 'Hulk' Script Involves Bottle Factory
Someone at IESB nabbed a copy of the new Edward Norton Hulk script, which they're calling an "incredible ride" (literally, hopes Six Flags) and have posted a long synopsis here. Luckily, for those of us who want bullet points, /Film was kind enough to provide that as follows:
* Hulk appears in the first sequence in the film. No waiting around for the green monster’s appearance.* Bruce Banner is hiding out in Brazil in search for exotic flowers that he believes will help destroy the gamma radiation in his blood.
* While working at a bottle factory, Bruce is cut and a drop of his blood falls into one of the bottles. A woman in Minnesota drinks the juice and almost dies. The gamma is detected in her blood and this alerts the military.
* Bruce escapes to the States, meets up with Betty Ross, and they both leave for New York City to find Dr. Sterns, who has developed an “anti-dote” for Bruce. But they are caught by General Ross and the military.
* A soldier named Blonsky who was crushed by Hulk, takes a super gamma serum developed from Bruce’s Blood and transforms into Abomination.
* Hulk must save the city from Abomination.
For some reason, amidst all the gamma radiation, crazy transformations, and superhuman powers, I find the bottle factory part of this the most perplexing. How does the Hulk end up in a bottle factory? Is this some kind of Laverne & Shirley crossover?
And a drop of his blood ends up in a bottle? Can this actually happen in a bottling plant? If so, I'm never drinking from a bottle again. I assumed there were precautions against this. This script would have me believe they say, "Well, it's just a drop. As long he's not the Hulk or Magic Johnson, it should be fine," and send it out.
Apr 16 2007 Edward Norton is the New Hulk
Marvel Studios has announced that Edward Norton will play Bruce Banner in the sequel to The Incredible Hulk. The first Hulk movie kinda sucked, but it's the law of the universe that every comic book has to be made into at least six movies, so hopefully Norton can get the franchise back on track.
Word on the street is that the new hulk will be a green supremacist who's always freaking out and curb stomping everyone.
