Nov 4 2009 This Nicolas Cage Movie Sounds Insane

Remember Drive Angry, the already-crazy-sounding upcoming film in which Nicolas Cage drives around trying to kill some other driving dudes who kidnapped his infant granddaughter? Well, if you didn't know, that's a movie coming out, and it sounds crazy, right? Par for the Cage course, but pretty crazy. Turns out it's even crazier! ShockTillYouDrop got their hands on a full synopsis, and you need to read it:

Drive Angry stars Nicolas Cage as Milton, a hardened felon who has broken out for one last chance at redemption. Hell bent on stopping a vicious cult of fanatics who murdered his daughter, he has three days to stop them before they sacrifice his infant granddaughter beneath a full moon. Milton must us his anger to go beyond all human limits in order to save his last connection with humanity.

He's joined by Piper, a young sexy-smart waitress who liberates her ex-boyfriend's cherry red muscle car in order to help Milton. Now, the two of them are hot on the trail of the charismatic Jonah King and his murderous followers. King will throw every one of them faithful under the wheels of Milton's turbo-charged Black '71 Challenger, to fulfill hist destiny and unleash hell on earth.

But the bloodthirsty cult is the least of Milton's problems. The police are after him, too. And worse. An enigmatic killer known only as "The Accountant." The Accountant knows what Milton is trying to and and simply doesn't care. With wicked cunning and hypnotic savagery, the Accountant will relentlessly pursue Milton at high speed across the forgotten back roads of the American south.

Fueled by high octane and pure rage, Milton and Piper must battle the onslaught of King's disciples, avenge his murdered daughter, and save his granddaughter before his last chance at redemption is revoked.

Congratulations. You may pick up your Best Original Screenplay Oscar from either Steve Martin or Alec Baldwin.

Aug 31 2009 Nicolas Cage Starring in New, Ridiculous-as-Expected Film

Still maintaining he has the look and hair of an action star, Nicolas Cage has signed on to star in Drive Angry, a 3-D action film where he'll play a guy trying to fucking kill some dudes who kidnapped his infant granddaughter:

[T]he story centers on a man (Cage) driven by rage who is chasing the people who killed his daughter and kidnapped her baby. The vendetta/rescue spins out of control as the chase gets bloodier by the mile, leaving bodies strewn along the highway.

So it's just Nicolas Cage driving along the open highway murdering some assholes? This is either going to be one of Cage's most ridiculous movies yet or a shockingly accurate adaptation of Road Rash.

Nicolas Cage gets 'Angry' in new 3D film [Heat Vision]