Oct 14 2009 'Expendables' Trailer: I Refuse To Believe This Is Real

Nice try, Sylvester Stallone. I'm sure you'd like us all to believe this promotional trailer is for an actual movie that you're supposedly making. But I know a viral video that compiles every clichéd '80s action movie scene ever made into a fake trailer when I see one, and this has to be that:

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Jan 12 2009 Dolph Lundgren is: 'Command Performance'

Command Performance is one of those movies where the synopsis made me really want to see it, but then the trailer made me nearly black out. Dolph Lundgren directing Dolph Lundgren in a film being described as "Die Hard at a rock concert" (because it's exactly Die Hard at a rock concert)? I'm with you there. After all, Dolph is a genius. But man, this trailer. Specifically, the awful song that plays throughout the three-minute trailer. The band responsible for this really should, at the very least, have their concert raided by terrorists. It's so bad you can hardly enjoy Dolph Lundgren impaling a man on a guitar neck, and it takes a lot to not revel in guitar-based homicide.

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Jan 7 2009 Mickey Rourke and Every Other Action Star Considered 'Expendable'

It gets tedious covering every piece of casting news--there's only so much you can say when Kate Hudson joins another romantic comedy--and thus I often overlook it. Generally it isn't a big deal, but in the case of my ignoring casting on Sylvester Stallone's upcoming action/adventure, The Expendables, I admit I've made a mistake. He's been putting together a crew of classic action actors that rivals even when there were two Jean-Claude Van Dammes in Double Impact. Just look at this group:

Mickey Rourke has joined the ranks of "The Expendables," joining the ensemble of the Sylvester Stallone-directed action adventure for Nu Image/Millennium Films.

Rourke will play an unscrupulous arms dealer who becomes the go-to guy for a group of mercenaries planning to topple a South American dictator.

Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Randy Couture and Dolph Lungdren play the title characters. Forest Whitaker and Ben Kingsley are also circling the project.

So it's the most definitive bad-ass team you can imagine (minus Arnold, Seagal, and Van Damme, obviously), plus Ben Kingsley. It's like he's there to sanction all the murdering. It would just be senseless violence with that crew shoving their boots in people's brains, but if you've got Gandhi on the team, it must be for the greater good.

Mickey Rourke joins 'Expandables' [Variety]

Mar 28 2008 Dolph Lundgren in 'Die Hard' Meets Madonna Concert

Now many straight-to-video years after his rise to nearly becoming the next Jean-Claude Van Damme and fall to becoming current Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren has plans to reinvent himself. Say goodbye to '80s action star Dolph Lundgren, hello to modern action star/director making '80s movies Dolph Lundgren.

Currently in post-production on his last acting/directing vehicle, Missionary Man (playing "a mysterious stranger [who] rolls into town on a unique motorcycle"), the Swede has announced plans to direct and star in Command Performance, described as "Die Hard at a rock concert." Set in Ivan Drago's native Russia, Lundgren will play an ex-marine drummer who, naturally, kicks ass after some motherf***ers disrupt the show--an idea he says he got from... Madonna? Since I don't remember a terrorist attack on Madonna's Russian tour, I'll assume the "idea" he means is being old and grossly muscular.

Dolph Lundgren set for 'Command' [Hollywood Reporter]