Jul 24 2009 'Book of Eli' Trailer: Everyone Wants Denzel Washington's Great Book

If you ever find yourself in a post-apocalyptic future, and have a MacGuffin you desperately need protected, Denzel Washington is definitely your guy. In the Hughes Brothers' Book of Eli, Washington plays some sort of badass meandering the war-ravaged world with his titular book, beating the living hell out of anyone who tries to take his tome.

The trailer doesn't specifically lay out what exactly the "Book of Eli" is, but I'm assuming it's the Bible, a Twilight, or a Dan Brown (our greatest books):

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Jul 14 2009 Denzel Washington Refusing to Iron Out Any More Train Issues

Denzel Washington to 20th Century Fox: "I'm sorry but you're just going to have to find someone else to stop that runaway train full of toxic chemicals." The actor was set to star in Unstoppable--another film following the Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 formula of Tony Scott + Denzel Washington + trains--but Variety is now claiming the project is in jeopardy.

Sources say three months with little progress on Fox's side led the Oscar winner to pull out of the project last week, though reportedly Washington said he will look at where they are with the script before making a final decision. So, Fox, this would be a great time to hurry up and write in some parts where Denzel spontaneously grows Wolverine claws and cuts an entire locomotive to shreds before it can collide with an oncoming passenger train. The guy's done the Oscar thing; he's probably just looking to tear some shit up now.

Apr 24 2009 Denzel Washington, You've Got To Stop This Out-of-Control Train Full of Hazardous Waste!

When a runaway train filled with toxic chemicals is on the loose, and another train with a rookie conductor is sent to chase it down, there's only one expert engineer who can board that second train, wrestle the controls away from the novice, and catch the original, toxic chemical-carrying train: Denzel Washington. From Variety:

Denzel Washington is negotiating to star in drama "Unstoppable," the Tony Scott-directed that 20th Century Fox has on track for a fall production start.

Washington would play an experienced engineer who jumps in a locomotive with a young conductor to chase down a runaway train carrying a cargo of toxic chemicals. Mark Bomback wrote the script, which is loosely inspired by a true event.

The drama would reunite Washington and Scott for their fifth film together. Aside from "Crimson Tide," "Man on Fire" and "Deja Vu," the duo just completed another train-based thriller, "The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3," which Columbia Pictures releases June 12.

So, just to make sure you caught all that, Tony Scott and Denzel Washington just made a movie where Denzel is a dispatcher stopping a subway train taken over by terrorists, and now they're doing a movie where Denzel is a conductor stopping a train full of toxic chemicals. Their next collaboration is just going to be the plot of the monorail episode of The Simpsons but with less singing.

Feb 13 2009 'Taking of Pelham 1 2 3' Trailer Needs Less Travolta

Everyone can learn something today from this Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 trailer: if you're going to make one of those good guy versus criminal mad-man psychological battle movies, you've got get a good actor for both roles. A De Niro and a Pacino, maybe a Kevin Spacey and a Samuel L. Jackson if you're desperate. A Travolta does not work. It's an honest mistake, but one we should have known to avoid post-Battlefield Earth.

Now on to the bigger issue: does the subway control center look anything like this representation? A giant screen with all the tracks and trains lit up and moving around is actually the image I've had in my mind for some time (either that or all the tracks connecting to a giant brain under Grand Central), but I recognized I'm an idiot and that it probably looks nothing like that. MTA.info doesn't seem to provide this particular info.

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Feb 10 2009 'Taking of Pelham 1 2 3' Poster a Sea of Blue, Gold, and Goatees

When did Denzel Washington become Morgan Freeman? Answer: around the same time John Travolta became a leather daddy. I think it was last year some time.

Pelham poster! [JoBlo]

Oct 8 2008 Coming Soon... Denzel Washington is Trapped in 'The Matarese Circle'

David Cronenberg is negotiating with MGM to direct an adaptation of the Robert Ludlum political thriller The Matarese Circle, with Denzel Washington attached to star as a bad-ass running around with a handgun, as usual. From Variety:

Set against the backdrop of the Cold War, book revolves around two men — one American, one Soviet — who must cooperate in order to foil a sinister plot to topple the world’s governments.

Writing partners Michael Brandt and Derek Haas ("3:10 to Yuma") penned the adaptation.

Come on, The Matarese Circle? That's the name? That's the most typically political thriller-like name ever. That's not even trying anymore; it's just putting words together. The, uh... Peking Condition. That's a political thriller now. Someone write that. The Melbourne Synopsis. That's another one. "Denzel Washington, I need a summary of what happened in Australia. You must get me the Melbourne Synopsis." "OK, let me get my handgun."

Looking back at The Peanut Butter Solution, I'm not sure why that was about a magical hair-growth concoction instead of corruption and espionage in a politically-charged elementary school cafeteria.

Nov 21 2007 AM Poster Post: 'The Great Debaters' is Totally Inspirational

If that rich, golden hue of morning sun splashing across the face of Mr. Denzel Washington looks familiar, it's because that's the same soft dewdrop of sunlight seen in the poster to Remember the Titans. It is a special ray of sunshine that only comes out when Denzel is being inspirational, and will only kiss his delicate face. It's God's way of saying, "Hey, D-Dubs, keep making mediocre movies that make people feel good in a very generic, unspecific way."

Handsomeness to the over-40 crowd is next to godliness, as they say.

'The Great Debaters' Poster Premiere! [Cinematical]

Nov 6 2007 'The Great Debaters' Trailer is Non-Debatably Melodramatic

Having exhausted the options for high school sports, and probably shortly after Dead Poet's Society finally hit the top of his Netflix queue, Denzel Washington has devised a new, less exciting way to tell the story of an underdog African-American team in a racist time period: instead of football or whatever, how about a debate team?

The flaw in this, of course, is that a movie about a debate team is inherently pretty nerdy and uninteresting. Ask someone if they want to watch a feel-good movie about a debate team and, unless they were captain of their debate team, watch their eyes glaze over. (It might be difficult to tell, because their head will be shaking a violent negative.)

I appreciate that Denzel Washington is trying to document all of African-American history through excessive melodrama, but debate teams? After The Great Debaters, can we expected The Great Chess Players? The Great Hall Monitors? The Great Kids Who Had to Wheel Around the Overhead Projectors?

Or maybe the whole thing is just an excuse to finally cast a movie with Denzel Washington, Forest Whitaker, and what I assume is a young, lab-created hybrid of the two, appropriately named Denzel Whitaker. Seriously.

The Great Debaters Trailer [Yahoo!]