Mar 25 2009 Dennis Quaid Working on His Clinton Impression
If you've got an HBO subscription, keep an eye out for Dennis Quaid to be playing that president from all the McDonald's and semen monologue jokes. The gruff-speaking actor has signed on to play Bill Clinton in the Frost/Nixon playwright's directorial debut, The Special Relationship, a TV movie that, surprisingly, has nothing to do with infidelity. Rather, it's "about the unique and sometimes turbulent political relationship between the newly installed [Tony Blair] and the U.S. president," and Frost/Nixon's Michael Sheen, already Blair twice before, will again play the prime minister. Julianne Moore will co-star as Hillary, so, you know, either a joke about gaining ankle weight or something about a pantsuit fitting.
Quaid to play Bill Clinton in 'Special' [Variety]
Mar 5 2009 Deep Space Vacations Always End Poorly
After Paul W.S. Anderson's Event Horizon, you'd think everyone would know to avoid both deep space demons and anything made by the people involved with Resident Evil. Someone should have told Dennis Quaid before he agreed to this:
Feb 19 2009 'Battle for Terra' Teaches Kids Humans Are Jerks
Every generation needs their own animated, ham-fisted, humans-as-enemies morality tale. My generation had Fern Gully, a response to deforestation concerns told through ferries fairies and an obnoxious bat. This generation will have Battle for Terra, giving today's youth the clear message that humans should not commit genocide in the name of colonization, even if the native inhabitants of those lands do look like creepy stillborns just begging to be killed. Here's the trailer:
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Feb 11 2009 'Horsemen Poster' Makes Dennis Quaid a Scooby Doo Villain
When assigned to make the poster for a Dennis Quaid serial killer-based thriller, it's important to both prominently feature the star and give it a creepy feeling. But how you can you do both? Here's a little tip I learned from the designer of The Horsemen poster: just before photographing your star, get behind him and shout, "Hey, Quaid!" When he turns, throw flour at him. Like a ton of flour. Now you've got a spooky specter of a Dennis Quaid--both frightening and, as always, ruggedly handsome. You're welcome.
The Horsemen Poster [IMPA]
Jan 21 2009 There's a New Overly-Elaborate Serial Killer Movie in Town
It's The Horsemen! It's like Seven, but instead of focusing on the Seven Sins it's the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse! And the whole thing seems to be masterminded by Zhang Ziyi? Also starring: Dennis Quaid as Detective and Cheryl's Dad from Curb as Priest. Here's the trailer:
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May 8 2008 Look at All These New 'G.I. Joe' Characters!
Like a breeze of pollen spreading its offensive seeds across the landscape, a new batch of G.I. Joe character shots have turned up around the web, and they're already causing a harsh reaction from my distorted-nostalgia allergy. Each shot originally appeared on a different site, but I've helpfully assembled them here for easier viewing (with the aid of Cinematical already doing so).
Truth be told, my memories of the specifics of these characters have faded, so I've made up character names and summaries rather than look anything up. I hope that works for everyone.
Continue Reading " Look at All These New 'G.I. Joe' Characters! "
Apr 18 2008 Remaining 'G.I. Joe' Character Shots Revealed
IMAGE REMOVED AT REQUEST OF Paramount Picture Corporation Properties
In a flood of black spandex and patent leather, the remaining character shots from G.I. Joe have arrived at WWTD. The series of awkwardly-posed shots give us a first look at the costumes for Duke (spandex with some panels strapped to it, faint goatee), Roadblock (same), Cover Girl (Halloween USA's Sexy Militant costume), Storm Shadow (an '80s coke dealer's couch as a biker jacket), Baroness (a formfitting tacky purse), and Hawk (leather jacket drenched in self-loathing). Looking at them did nothing to inject any confidence in the project, but it was pretty worthwhile to see supermodel Karolina Korkova and Dennis Quaid compete for Best Come-Hither Over-the-Shoulder glance.
Mar 6 2008 'Smart People' Poster, Because Smart People Play Scrabble
I realize that letters cut from a New Yorker might feel too ransom-notey, but is Scrabble really the best way they could find to identify "smart people"? Since when is Scrabble a game of the intelligentsia any more than Monopoly is the game of wealthy real estate moguls and pewter schnauzers? Maybe it's just me, but I think of Scrabble more as the game for those who have lost their electricity, and need some way to entertain their visiting parents without the aid of CBS's primetime lineup.
And why are they pretending that's Dennis Quaid in the jacket? We can all see it's obviously Steve Carell reprising his role from Little Miss Sunshine.
'Smart People' Poster Premiere [Cinematical]
Feb 15 2008 First Look at Quaid as Hawk in 'G.I. Joe'
"Shut UP! Destro said WHAT? What-evs. Text me later."
Feb 11 2008 AM Poster Post: 'Smart People' Continues Trend
I really thought I was kidding a few months ago when, following the posters for Knocked Up and Strange Wilderness, I declared white text on sickly green with a diffused spotlight point as the new trend in comedy posters. Besides being nauseating to look at, it seemed far too specific to be a legitimate trend. Well, as you can see above, it turns out it's very real and very, very green. Now what?
Smart People Poster [IMPA]
Jan 29 2008 Quaid Sacrificing Career to Join 'G.I. Joe'
I still predict the big screen adaptation of G.I. Joe to go down as a mess of distorted nostalgia and military propaganda told through crummy dialogue and computer effects, but that doesn't mean the casting is all that bad. Dennis Quaid has just been announced as General Hawk, the wise, battle-hardened leader of the team--a look that Quaid naturally embodies in his wizened yet dignified face. He's a great choice. I'll just feel bad for the recently-cast Channing Tatum when he inevitably falls in love with Quaid's daughter and briefly takes control of the Joe team, only to eventually realize that the older leadership of Quaid has valuable experience that his young, hotshot tactics can't compete with, leaving Tatum alone to contemplate his existence over some Peter Gabriel.
Quaid, Tatum enlist in Par's 'G.I. Joe' [Variety]
