Nov 17 2009 Internet Meme Meets Vampire Fad in Most Ephemeral Fake Trailer Ever

In five years, we will have no idea what any of this referencing. And we won't care, so busy we'll be enjoying whatever our new teenage monster melodrama/ridiculous t-shirt combination is.

Nov 17 2009 Anna Faris Also in Another Horribly Titled Movie

Remember how annoying girls about a decade ago would sometimes be like, "Yikes, tee em eye! (Too much information!)" Well, someone thought that would make a good title for a modern feature film, and Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris will be starring in it:

Universal Pictures has acquired "TMI," a comic vehicle for Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris.

Scripted by Kirsten "Kiwi" Smith and Marc Klein, the comic premise is that while honesty is the best policy for a relationship, "too much information" might not be the best thing.

Ah, how beautifully high concept. Couple makes agreement to tell each other everything; arrangement leads to anger, jealousy, and Yes Man-style comedy; couple finds moral that maybe complete openness really can lead to... TOO MUCH INFORMATION; audience forever forgets hollow film ever existed twenty minutes after exiting theater. Once you've got the cast in place, the "you did WHAT???"s practically write themselves.

Nov 17 2009 Anna Faris Joins [Title Too Offensively Punny for Headline]

Wedding BANNED. She's joining a Robin Williams movie called Wedding BANNED:

Anna Faris is in negotiations to star as Robin Williams' daughter in "Wedding Banned," a romantic comedy for Touchstone.

"Banned" revolves around a long-divorced couple who kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom.

Williams is on board as the father; the mother has not been cast.

See, a wedding BAND is a ring you wear to signify that you're married. This is a subtle twist on that: the word "band" has been replaced with the similar sounding "banned." Because Robin Williams is stopping Anna Faris's marriage, effectively banning it. Wedding Banned. The title is Wedding Banned.

I have to go punch some things now.

Nov 13 2009 Celebrate Friday the 13th -- With Laughter!

Get it? Because today is Friday the 13th. I'm not just posting it again arbitrarily. I thought it out.

Nov 13 2009 'Leap Year' Poster: Monogamy Fickleness Sells

Apparently this poster takes place on top of the Knocked Up poster. Which is actually a surprisingly popular location. Nothing sells them tickets like the sensation you're staring into the glowing light of a nauseating green afterlife.

Nov 12 2009 Seth MacFarlane's Secrets Revealed

I would have thought quick, throwaway joke asides illustrating an outlandish scenario just described would have been one of his secrets, too. I guess that's too common knowledge to be considered such.

Nov 11 2009 Have You Seen These New Brett Ratner Movies?

There are so many good ones coming out.

Well done, Photoshopper. It's clear that more detail and craft are put into each of these than any of Brett Ratner's actual films (except possibly Money Talks).

(Thanks for tipstering, Matt.)

Nov 11 2009 Karl Pilkington Gets His Round Head and Hangdog Face Animated

You should really be listening to the Ricky Gervais podcasts. If you are already, good job. If you're not... well, fine, but not listening because you "hate things made of sound" because they make you use your "brain eyes" is no longer a valid excuse (usually that would be a valid excuse). Soon, the audio series will be coming to HBO in the form of animation! No more using your brain eyes! You'll be able to use your eye eyes!

Here are a couple previews:

Continue Reading " Karl Pilkington Gets His Round Head and Hangdog Face Animated "

Nov 10 2009 If 'The Matrix' Were a Charlie Chaplin Film, and Russian

I assure you it's way better The Matrix, Again Chockablocked! (1929) and Putsches Within the Matrix! (1931).

Continue Reading " If 'The Matrix' Were a Charlie Chaplin Film, and Russian "

Nov 9 2009 SNL Reveals the Sexy World of Frankenstein's Monsters

What happens if you replace all the vampires in Twilight with Frakensteins? As you'll see in this trailer, not all that much, really. Just slightly different body paint:

Continue Reading " SNL Reveals the Sexy World of Frankenstein's Monsters "

Nov 9 2009 'Slammin' Salmon' Poster AND Trailer??? YES

Good news if you like alliteration, fish, and The Green Mile flexing in an aura of wacky faces. There's this new movie from the Broken Lizard people that appears to have all of those things! Here's your trailer:

Continue Reading " 'Slammin' Salmon' Poster AND Trailer??? YES "

Nov 6 2009 New 'Despicable Me' Trailer: Supervillains Wear Scarves

How long have we waited for a film villain to combine equal parts Tiny Tim and Nosferatu?

TOO LONG. Don't wait any longer. He is risen:

Continue Reading " New 'Despicable Me' Trailer: Supervillains Wear Scarves "

Nov 5 2009 Zach Galifianakis Donating Voice to Shrek Thing

Joining a vocal cast that already includes most key members of the The Mask of Zorro Desperado (whups!), the always enjoyable Zach Galifanakis is negotiating to provide the voice of Humpty Dumpty in the Shrek spin-off Puss in Boots. The animated picture, as its title implies, follows Antonio Banderas's swashbuckling cat character and the events that led to his being in Shrek 2. Salma Hayak is also signed on, and presumably plays some kind of girl cat that also has a thick accent.

When will society finally evolve to the point of no longer typecasting fat people to voice fat animated characters? Not yet. Not yet.

Nov 3 2009 Singin' in the Rain Special Edition: The Way George Lucas Originally Intended for Gene Kelly to Intend

You'd think Lucas could get James Earl Jones or anyone else for voice-over instead of this guy. But personally, I'm more upset Debbie Reynolds no longer sings the Yub Nub song at the end.

Nov 2 2009 'How To Train Your Dragon' Trailer: 'ET'/'Iron Giant'/etc. Gets Reptilian

You know the story. Boy finds freak; boy befriends freak; men in power see freak as threat and try to capture/kill freak friend; you sit through the credits hoping the darkness will hide your tears. And this time our freak is: the dragon. Because aliens and giant robots filling the role still were never quite nerdy enough.

Continue Reading " 'How To Train Your Dragon' Trailer: 'ET'/'Iron Giant'/etc. Gets Reptilian "

Nov 2 2009 Warner Bros. Hoping To Recreate Pure Magic of 'Bucket List'

With Morgan Freeman's death in The Bucket List (Bucket Spoiler!) virtually eliminating any possibility of a sequel ("virtually" because I don't think the idea of a ghost Freeman can ever be entirely ruled out), Warner Bros. is attempting to get the aging duo back together for a new film that will recreate that bucket magic that somehow made over $175 million. From THR:

Warner Bros. is pre-emptively picking up an untitled comedy spec by Josh Cagan and Greg Coolidge to which Morgan Freeman is attached to star and Peter Segal is eyeing to direct.

The script, which had a working title of "Dirty Old Men," revolves around an aging playboy who finally meets the love of his life and his best friend and wingman for the past 40 years (Freeman) who does everything to break up the new couple. The tone is described as similar to "Wedding Crashers" and "The 40-Year-Old Virgin."

The studio would love to have Jack Nicholson reteam with Freeman on the film; the pair starred in Warners' 2007 hit comedy "The Bucket List." Nicholson is not attached to the project but is aware of it.

Let's hope Nicholson gets on board this thing. We need someone to pick up the old guy mediocre comedy duo mantle left behind by Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau after Grumpier Old Men.

Oct 30 2009 Men to Wear Black Again

In news probable to spawn a franchise starring Jaden Smith as J Jr., Men in Black III is coming:

Sony is moving forward on “MIB 3,” the third pic in its sci-comedy franchise.

“Tropic Thunder” writer Etan Cohen is penning the script, and Barry Sonnenfeld, who helmed the first two films, is said to be attached to the new installment, though there is no formal deal or offer as yet.

The studio is eyeing a 2010 start date and could go as soon as the spring.

The X-factor remains Will Smith. The A-lister, who starred with Tommy Lee Jones in the first two, has not committed to the pic, though in recent days the buzz in development circles has been that he is now interested in returning. Smith does not currently have a go movie lined up. Tommy Lee Jones’ involvement is uncertain.

Etan, make sure to write something that includes the Pepe the Muppet-esque guys drinking coffee and Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones having comically large/small weaponry. That's really all I ever walk away from the Men in Black movies remembering, and I worry, without those elements, I might end up just having an hour-and-a-half unaccounted-for absence in my life.

Oct 30 2009 Day Care is Going to the Dogs! 'Doggy Day Care' Being Made

Excited about Toy Story 3 and its tale of toys that take on personalities when left alone in a daycare center? Want to see that same premise with dogs instead of toys? No? You'd rather suffocate in shit? Well, regardless:

DreamWorks has snapped up Laurie Craig's comedy pitch "Doggy Day Care."

Based on a story by Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, Julie Goldstein and Craig, the project, set in a dog day care, concerns what really happens when dogs get together without human supervision.

Above, an IWS exclusive, is the official poster for the film. I know, it's really weird Dreamworks would make the poster so early after buying the script, and even weirder they'd just assume Eddie Murphy would play the hapless doggy day care owner in a part that looks eerily similar to his Daddy Day Care role, but that's just the way it is.

DreamWorks snaps up 'Doggy' [Variety]

Oct 30 2009 'Old Dogs' Looks No Better in Russian

Этот фильм является самым страшным созданием человека!!!

'Old Dogs' Poster [IMPA]

Oct 29 2009 Jessica Biel Starring in New Comedy About Couple Having Regular Sex

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Jessica Biel is attached to star in a new comedy in which--get this!--she agrees to have sex with her fiancé EVERY DAY (until their wedding)! CRAZY:

The actress is attached to star in and produce rookie screenwriter Julia Brownell's original screenplay "F***ing Engaged," a raunchy comedy about a couple who make a pact to have sex every day leading to their wedding so they don't turn into their crusty old parents.

Yeah, sex every day until your wedding! That will stop you from becoming your crusty old parents! I'm not sure how that will work, since after marriage is typically when the sex would taper off, turning you into your crusty old parents, but whatever. I'm sure it will work out.

Is this writer's entire notion of human sexuality derived from episodes of Married with Children and Everybody Loves Raymond? A young couple having daily sex isn't really that absurd of a concept, is it? Unless we're talking about the lady enjoying it too, am I right, dudes?! 'Cause ladies are all frigid and stuff! We're all like, "Give me the intercourse," and they're like, "Nuh-uh! I hate sex, Raymond!"