Jul 27 2009 'Dorian Gray' Trailer: Prince Caspian Lays Some Babes

Ut oh, are painting-based immortals making a run at becoming the new vampires? There's a new trailer for Dorian Gray, starring Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian's Ben Barnes as the perpetually-young protagonist led into a life of hedonism by Colin Firth (who better to mentor sexual exploits than a man whose cinema dating history rivals even Hugh Grant?).

If you aren't familiar with the 1890 novel--because who reads old stuff?--the story details the exploits of young man whose soul is transferred into a portrait of himself, enabling him to keep his looks, though all of his physical aging and moral corruption is transferred into the image. But will the painting take the HPV he gets from sleeping with all these babes? Hopefully. Otherwise that thing is bulllllshit.

Trailer:

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Jul 15 2009 Bridget Jones Still Keeping Up with Her Journal of Sorts

Hasn't Bridget Jones figured out which British romantic comedy star she wants to marry by now? When I caught the last ten minutes of the second Bridget Jones on TBS last week, it really seemed like she was ending up with Colin Firth, but I guess there are still some things to work out because Variety says Renee Zellweger is plumping up to make the series a trilogy:

The untitled third "Bridget Jones" pic, which is still in its early stages and probably won't go into production until the end of next year, will see Zellweger reprise her role as a British publishing exec struggling to find love.

It will likely be based on the weekly columns author Helen Fielding wrote in 2005 for British newspaper the Independent in which Bridget, now in her 40s, attempts to have a baby before it's too late.

Ooooh, so she's with Colin Firth but now she needs to get him to fill her with baby before she's incapable? OK. So the movie is just about a couple middle-aged people having unprotected sex. Doesn't sound like that solid of an idea up front, but I suppose if it devolves into a Look Who's Talking with Hugh Grant as the voice of the baby, we could have a hit on our hands.

Oct 14 2008 'Easy Virtue' Poster Exhibits Virtue of Chihuahua Inclusion

Empire has premiered the UK poster for Easy Virtue, the upcoming adaptation of the Noel Coward play of the same name. Unfortunately, it looks like they accidentally posted an uncompleted version of the poster. Here's the final:

I like how it reminds me of how great chihuahuas are.

Dec 26 2007 'Accidental Husband' Poster Analysis: Which is worse?

Poster 1

Pros: Jeffrey Dean Morgan's creepy glare and disembodied arm do a lot to explain Uma Thurman's look of surprised terror. Flowers are pretty.

Cons: Colin Firth looking past Uma like she's a Magic Eye poster. Sorry, buddy, but there's no making her character three-dimensional.

Poster 2

Pros: The apathy in their attempts at catching Uma perfectly summarize the effort I'll put forth to watch this when it's on TBS, and I'm oddly excited by the potential splattering. Firth's open arms replicate the shrug he surely gave when his agent suggested another tired romantic comedy.

Cons: After grasping the awkward visual metaphor, my mind starts wandering to more practical concerns. Why is she falling? What is she falling from? Why are neither men advancing to catch her? What were they doing on the roof in the first place? Did Jeffrey Dean Morgan have to come straight from work to nonchalantly join this stunt? In a movie about a fireman's son somehow hacking the records to make his father married to Uma Thurman, you don't want the audience asking too many questions before they even get in the theaters.

It might be a toss-up. Your thoughts? For more thorough analysis, larger versions are under the cut, and the trailer is here.

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Dec 4 2007 'Accidental Husband' Trailer Teaches Women Important Lesson

As we all know, women should never openly express their opinions, even when it's their job. So when relationship advice radio host Uma Thurman recommends that a hesitant bride stops her wedding plans, it's natural and fitting justice that the dumped groom (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) marries her through inexplicable "hacking" and "internet." Though it seems like a strange and masochistic lesson to teach someone, it ends up making some marginal sense when you find out Uma is engaged to the stodgy Colin Firth.

As I'm sure you already suspected, the gruff, vengeful firefighter is exactly what she needed in her life, and she falls in love despite her prior engagement. I guess it's true what they say: opposites attract! Or: you always find love in the most unlikely places! Or: women are idiots that don't know what they want, so they need a semi-insane man to show them!

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Jul 18 2007 The Last Legion Trailer

Despite starring a huge Bollywood star, Colin Firth and Thomas Sangster, and telling the story of The Sword in the Stone, I assure you this trailer is not one of those popular "mash-ups" where they've mixed Love Actually with King Arthur and that Little Superstar character, dubbing it "Little Love Excaliburly." It might be better if it were though.

In better quality here.