Nov 11 2009 Karl Pilkington Gets His Round Head and Hangdog Face Animated
You should really be listening to the Ricky Gervais podcasts. If you are already, good job. If you're not... well, fine, but not listening because you "hate things made of sound" because they make you use your "brain eyes" is no longer a valid excuse (usually that would be a valid excuse). Soon, the audio series will be coming to HBO in the form of animation! No more using your brain eyes! You'll be able to use your eye eyes!
Here are a couple previews:
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Oct 30 2009 Moon Bloodgood Wearing Nothing But Rain! And Pants
When McG started making Terminator Salvation, he went in wanting, first and foremost, to correct what he believed was the biggest shortcoming he showed in his work on the Charlie's Angel films: this time, he would see a bare boob. So, the director told Terminator star Moon Bloodgood that rain makes things artistic, and got the actress to take her top off for a few seconds in one rain-drenched shot. The pathetically tame scene was ultimately cut to ensure a PG-13 rating, but of course it's appearing on the DVD to boost sales to the desperately horny. And now it's on internet:
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Oct 6 2009 First Five Minutes of 'Princess and the Frog': It's No 'Circle of Life'
Remember how, in The Lion King, Disney kicked open your skull doors and gave your brain a charliehorse right from the start with "Circle of Life"? Such powerful music! So much reverent African wildlife!
Well, the opening to Disney's The Princess and the Frog is nothing like that:
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Sep 29 2009 See Conan O'Brien Smash His Head
You heard how Conan O'Brien banged his head pretty bad while taping a sketch for The Tonight Show, right? Well, you can finally sate your concussion bloodlust, because he presented the footage and told the full story on his show last night, and now that's on internet.
Sad that this would happen to Conan after just a few months on the show, yet Leno somehow went 17 years without someone running on the stage and bludgeoning him with anything.
Sep 28 2009 Ignore This If You Don't Want to See a Human Centipede
If you aren't familiar with the upcoming torture/horror film Human Centipede, please take a moment to read the disgusting summary before going any further. OK?
If, at this point, you're cool with a scenario in which girls (and a Japanese tourist) are surgically connected, ass-to-mouth, into a chain of humans with a single digestive system--which, I should note, you would only be OK with if you're a sociopath wearing a homemade sport coat made of your own shit--here are a short series of Human Centipede clips you can watch, throw up over, and then maybe put together a nice matching hat out of your vomit (since that's the kind of thing you do):
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Sep 21 2009 New, Short 'Avatar' Clip Somewhere in This Commercial
One of the points James Cameron keeps stressing about Avatar is that it's really designed to be a cinema experience: See it big! See it in 3-D! See it surrounded by people muttering, "I wouldn't call these effects 'revolutionary'"! See this thing in theaters, dudes!
Well, it seems the director changes his tune a bit if Panasonic will throw a few yen his way, and now there's this commercial where some new scenes from the sci-fi film are shown an television screen. If you don't catch Avatar in theaters, apparently the next best option is on the Panasonic Viera TV you keep in your lush garden:
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Sep 2 2009 Beavis and Butthead are Back! And Shilling for 'Extract'!
Hey, remember Beavis and Butthead? Mike Judge hopes you do, because he's made a new animation where the characters introduce a clip of his new film and laugh about how Jason Bateman's name contains a third of the syllables required to say "masturbate." Seeing that Judge's last film, Idiocracy, had little to no promotion and no theatrical release, I'll give him a pass on this pandering, kind of sad effort. If we're lucky, maybe it will encourage Dana Carvey to promote Master of Disguise 2 with some Church Lady videos.
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Aug 12 2009 More 'Kick-Ass' Con Clips: Still Sort of Kicking Ass
Maybe I'm just a sucker for seeing a man in a bird suit fall to his death and an 11-year-old girl get shot in the chest and murder a room full of men, but these new clips from Kick-Ass are looking so good I might have to eventually give a ticket vendor monetary compensation in exchange for viewing rights to this moving picture. That's the highest compliment I've given a film containing Nicolas Cage in years.
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Aug 4 2009 'Sesame Street' Behind the Scenes: Ruin the Magic
Or possibly make it more magical, if seeing a long-haired man with his hand up Ernie is something you find magical, with this clip from a behind-the-scenes Sesame Street thing that aired on the History Channel. The Children's Television Workshop either looks like a delight to work at or a living nightmare, depending on how long you stare into Bert's dead eyes:
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Jul 30 2009 Forget Snakes on Planes; We've Got Really Awesome Sharks to Deal With Now
Remember Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, the first movie that dared pit the meganess of a shark against the giantude of a octopus against '80s pop star Deborah Gibson?
Well, no matter. You really don't need to know much about it to enjoy this clip from the film; only that there are some people on an airplane thinking they're safe from the terror that awaits in the waters far below them. But they're forgetting one thing: this isn't a standard shark they're dealing with. This is a mega shark:
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Jul 17 2009 The 'Where the Wild Things Are' of 1983
Back in 1983, long before Spike Jonze showed us that giant monsters look best as practical effects in sun-drenched forests, Disney owned the rights to Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are and were apparently considering making it an animated film. John Lasseter, then Disney emloyee and later founder of Pixar, did some tests to see if it would be feasible to use hand-drawn character animation over 3D backgrounds.
Studio heads decided the technique was "too expensive" and "what they do on Futurama," and Lasseter was fired shortly after. But now, thanks to internet, we can see one of those early tests:
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Jul 13 2009 Watch Nite Owl I Die!
When director Zack Snyder was editing Watchmen down to a barely-more-manageable 162 minutes, some scenes were necessarily lost. But did you realize one of those scenes involved the slow-motion murder of an elderly man? It's true! And you thought you'd seen every slow-motion murder of an elderly man. (You have, besides this one.)
Thankfully, Warner Bros. has released the clip, depicting the death of the first Nite Owl. Your collection is now complete:
Jun 17 2009 'Funny People' Provides New Entry in 'Little Man' Genre
In Judd Apatow's Funny People, Adam Sandler plays George Simmons, a comedian-turned-comic actor starring in primarily broad comedies--obviously a role that hits fairly close to home for the Waterboy. So, to promote the film, Apatow and Sandler, along with Justin Long, put together this depressingly believable clip for one of Simmons' fictional films, Re-Do. Description:
Craig, a workaholic lawyer, never made time for his relationships. Alone and depressed on his 40th birthday, he wonders about the life he could have lead. But be careful what you wish for...you might just find yourself in diapers! When a wizard gives Craig a second chance at his youth, he discovers that sometimes it takes becoming a baby to learn how to be a man.
It's really good. They've topped Yo, Teach...!:
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Jun 2 2009 See How the Moon Factors Into 'Moon'
In this new clip from Moon, you'll briefly learn how, in Duncan Jones's futuristic sci-fi tale, technologies allow massive amounts of energy to be harvested and used to supply power to Earth's many plug-innable things. As the title implies, the moon is involved.
It's more interesting than it sounds:
Jun 1 2009 Giant Robots Smashing Things
For those too self-righteous to watch an awards show where Twilight is treated like Gone with the Wind but also still immature enough to want to see a clip of giant robots smashing shit, here's the Transformers 2 scene shown at the MTV Movie Awards last night. You won't believe how hard it is for several massive sentient machines and a couple robot animals to catch two humans. Really, you absolutely won't believe it. You might even shout at your screen, "Jesus, just fucking stomp on them, you're the size of a building!"
May 20 2009 New Clips from 'World War II: Quentin Tarantino Style'
How many scenes in Inglourious Basterds consist of characters--mostly Brad Pitt--giving long, blatantly Tarantinan (the state of being Tarantino-like) near-monologues in accents of varying believability? Well, according to these three new clips, the answer is: at least three scenes. Plus all the previously released scenes that were also that.
Anyway, here they are:
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May 19 2009 'A Christmas Carol' Still Pointless and Slightly Repulsive
Disney has released a new image and short clip from Robert Zemeckis's A Christmas Carol, confirming that, yes, the computer-animated rehashing of the Dickens classic still appears to be superfluous and moderately unsettling to look at, and Jim Carrey's wacky, fluctuating voice is not helping:
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May 11 2009 Something for Fans of 'Terminator Salvation' and Grease-Soaked Pan Pizzas
Thanks to a partnership between Pizza Hut and Warner Bros. (as a "Hut" rep explained: "Pizza Hut's iconic red Hut may not be as intimidating as the Terminator's red eye, but pizza and movies are time-tested favorites"), the Book-It sponsor has just released a new clip with behind-the-scenes footage from Terminator Salvation.
Director McG introduces it, explaining it's for "Pizza Hut and Terminator fans" (i.e., everyone) and adds, "You're about to see the Harvester attacking humanity," so I was expecting a giant robot going on a long diatribe about man's war-like ways and tendencies towards greed and destruction, but it ended up being more exciting than that. Gas tanker-exploding exciting!:
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May 11 2009 This Prince of Persia Sure Is Fighting Some Guys
I remember reading somewhere that, prior to shooting Batman Begins, Christopher Nolan showed some of his crew Blade Runner to show them the look and feel he hoped to infuse into his superhero franchise.
Similarly, judging by these Prince of Persia clips, I'm guessing that tortoise-headed producer Jerry Bruckheimer showed his crew Aladdin and said, "Alright, make that, but also make Gladiator--and the Prince of Persia should fight a guy with Wolverine claws."
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Apr 23 2009 'Brothers Bloom' Intro is Year's Best Mash-Up
If Paul Thomas Anderson directed a Wes Anderson script, the seven minute opening to Rian Johnson's The Brothers Bloom would inevitably be the result. The Ricky Jay narration and frequent, dramatic camera push-ins of PTA have merged with the precocious, costumed children and slow-motion walking-to-music requirements of the Wes. When the two directors get to their daily afternoon Hulu watching session, they're going to spit take in each others faces at this:
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