Oct 22 2009 The Weekend in Moving Pictures
Looking for a way to break up your weekend of binge drinking away your sadness? See one of these new releases:
Saw VI
Director: Kevin Greutert
Starring: Saw, some people Saw will make chop of their foot or some garbage
Good if you want to see: Jesus, another fucking Saw movie?
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
Director: Paul Weitz
Starring: Chris Massoglia, John C. Reilly, Salma Hayek, Paul Dano
Good if you want to see: a kid become a vampire, thanks to John C. Reilly the Vampire; some sort of freak show? I don't know, I'm just basing this off the commercials. It's not like I'm going to read the book or something.
Amelia
Director: Mira Nair
Starring: Hilary Swank, Richard Gere, Ewan McGregor
Good if you want to see: Hilary Swank play a somewhat masculine woman, which history tells us is a popular way to view Hilary Swank; a lady flying a plane!? Crazy!
Astro Boy
Director: David Bowers
Starring: Freddie Highmore, Nicolas Cage, Kristen Bell
Good if you want to see: a man create a robot boy for himself, but not in a creepy way.
Ong Bak 2 (limited)
Director: Tony Jaa, Panna Rittikrai
Starring: Tony Jaa, his many victims
Good if you want to see: Tony Jaa fucking destroy some people with all these awesome moves (if you've seen Ong Bak, you know how legitimately awesome that is).
Antichrist (limited)
Director: Lars von Trier
Starring: Willem Dafoe, Charlotte Gainsbourg
Good if you want to see: just watch the trailer. If you're into that, go for it.
Aug 24 2009 'Vampire's Assistant' Poster Could Use More John C. Reilly
I was going to comment on how this looks like the cover to some ridiculous young adult book, but then I remembered this film is based on some kind of ridiculous young adult book. So, uh, never mind, I guess. Good job helping me so vividly recollect what a Scholastic book order form looks like.
Aug 6 2009 'Vampire's Assistant' Trailer: More Young Adult Vampire Literature-Turned-Film
Alright, Twilight fans, time to learn that not all vampires are young, svelte, big-haired dreamboats: sometimes they're John C. Reilly. Behold the trailer for Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant, a film that, through inspired, Paul Thomas Anderson-like casting, places the doughy, curly-haired everydope in the role of a mentor dracula:
Continue Reading " 'Vampire's Assistant' Trailer: More Young Adult Vampire Literature-Turned-Film "
Jul 3 2008 First Look at 'Cirque Du Freak'
Empire has the first official look at Cirque Du Freak, starring John C. Reilly as a vampire in a traveling freak show who takes on a 14-year-old boy apprentice. Apparently this lesbian couple is also involved.
Apr 29 2008 Salma Hayek Has a Giant Beard (for 'Cirque du Freak')
After getting an Oscar nomination for her unibrowed lead role in Frida, Salma Hayek has upped the lady-facial-hair ante for Paul Weitz's Cirque du Freak, also starring John C. Reilly as a vampire. How will she top herself next time? Hard to say for certain, but there may be a clue in the title of her next movie: Female Versions of Those Creepy Wolf Boy Kids That Are Always on Maury Povich to Prove That They're Just a Couple Normal Teens Who Happen to Have Hairy Faces.
Salma Hayek Has a Beard [Just Jared]
