Nov 20 2009 So Many People Are Doing the Acting in 'Thor'

So many people are doing the acting in Thor! Some people joined the cast a few days ago; one just joined today. Let's finally get to filling them all in in our Thor scrapbook, OK?

Firstly, the Heat Vision blog is reporting that Idris Elba--who you may remember from The Wire, The Office, and the ridiculous Beyonce-fights-a-stalker film Obsessed--will be playing Heimdall, another mythological Norse character called "whitest of the gods." Which is funny. Because Idris Elba is black. Not white.

Variety, meanwhile, has news that Stuart Townsend (Charlize Theron's husband), Ray Stevenson (the Punisher that wasn't Thomas Jane) and Tadanobu Asano (Ichi the Killer) will be playing the Warriors Three, Marvel-created Asgardian gods who form a classic trinity of fat guy, Errol Flynn-esque guy, and Genghis Khan-looking guy.

To those thinking this is weird because black guys and Asian guys don't belong in the world of Norse mythology... well, you're probably technically right, but you're still assigned ten minutes in the racist penalty box.

Nov 19 2009 Anne Hathaway Could Be in the Spider-Man

How do you like the idea of Anne Hathaway as Black Cat, Spider-Maniacs (fans of Spider-Man who are psychotic)? I ask not arbitrarily but because she might actually have been offered the role.

According to Nikki Finke, producers for the superhero series have approached the Bride Wars warrior with an offer for an unspecified part. Using the knowledge that Kirsten Dunst is still in and Black Cat supposedly has a part in the next Spider-Man film, me and the rest of the internet is guessing that offer was for Black Cat.

Of course, there's also the rumor going around that Rachel McAdams was rumored last week, so we're probably at least a Michelle Williams rumor away from an official announcement. In the meantime, let's continue complaining that Sam Raimi for some reason isn't keeping true to the character and casting a young actress with actual white hair and disproportionately enormous breasts.

Nov 18 2009 Jennifer Hudson Playing Controversial Winnie

No, not Winnie Cooper (thought the way she treated Kevin was sometimes kind of bullshit). Mandela!

Jennifer Hudson, the former American Idol contestant who won the oscar in her first screen role in "Dreamgirls," is ready for her next challenge. Hudson will star in “Winnie,” a drama that casts her as the former wife of South Africa’s first black president, Nelson Mandela.

While Nelson Mandela—who’ll be played by Morgan Freeman in the Clint Eastwood-directed “Invictus”-- is a universally sympathetic figure for his struggle against apartheid, his former wife is a far more complicated figure. She has been depicted as the mother and wife who was a steadfast supporter of her activist husband and who was jailed herself for campaigning for his release and fighting against apartheid. Her image was subsequently tarnished by association with a bodyguard who murdered a 14-year old alleged informer, and she was later convicted of fraud.

The filmmakers will tell the whole story, good and bad.

But will Jennifer Hudson sing a special Winnie theme song?

Hudson, who is expected to sing the film’s theme song...

Yessss. I've always said even human rights violators deserve the same theme song opportunities granted to the Men in Black. Otherwise, aren't we all violating some basic human rights? Specifically, the right to a movie theme song sung by one of your film's stars.

Nov 17 2009 Anna Faris Also in Another Horribly Titled Movie

Remember how annoying girls about a decade ago would sometimes be like, "Yikes, tee em eye! (Too much information!)" Well, someone thought that would make a good title for a modern feature film, and Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris will be starring in it:

Universal Pictures has acquired "TMI," a comic vehicle for Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris.

Scripted by Kirsten "Kiwi" Smith and Marc Klein, the comic premise is that while honesty is the best policy for a relationship, "too much information" might not be the best thing.

Ah, how beautifully high concept. Couple makes agreement to tell each other everything; arrangement leads to anger, jealousy, and Yes Man-style comedy; couple finds moral that maybe complete openness really can lead to... TOO MUCH INFORMATION; audience forever forgets hollow film ever existed twenty minutes after exiting theater. Once you've got the cast in place, the "you did WHAT???"s practically write themselves.

Nov 17 2009 Anna Faris Joins [Title Too Offensively Punny for Headline]

Wedding BANNED. She's joining a Robin Williams movie called Wedding BANNED:

Anna Faris is in negotiations to star as Robin Williams' daughter in "Wedding Banned," a romantic comedy for Touchstone.

"Banned" revolves around a long-divorced couple who kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom.

Williams is on board as the father; the mother has not been cast.

See, a wedding BAND is a ring you wear to signify that you're married. This is a subtle twist on that: the word "band" has been replaced with the similar sounding "banned." Because Robin Williams is stopping Anna Faris's marriage, effectively banning it. Wedding Banned. The title is Wedding Banned.

I have to go punch some things now.

Nov 12 2009 Another Once-Great Actor Lost to Fockers Franchise

First De Niro, then Hoffman, now Keitel:

Harvey Keitel has joined the cast of Universal and Tribeca Prods.' "Meet the Fockers" sequel.

Regulars Ben Stiller, Teri Polo, Robert De Niro, Blythe Danner and Owen Wilson are returning, along with newcomers Jessica Alba and Laura Dern.

Paul Weitz ("In Good Company") is directing the film, which has the working title of "Little Fockers," since it focuses on the main couple's children. Keitel will play a contractor employed by Stiller's character.

Truly there is no greater tribute to any of the 70s' greatest actors than one day giving them each the chance to act incredulous that Ben Stiller's last name sounds so much like "fucker."

Nov 10 2009 New Entry in Vampire Movie Genre Emerges

We've got vampire horror films, vampire teen melodramas, vampire apprentices, vampire Mel Brooks spoofs; where do we go from here, vampire movies? Amy Heckerling, writer and director of Look Who's Talking and Clueless has the answer: vampire Sex and the City. This should get those hold-outs who felt Twilight's Washington setting was too backwoodsy:

The [romantic comedy Vamps] will be a modern-day tale of two young female vampires living the good life in New York until love enters the picture and each has to make a choice that will jeopardise their immortality.

Krysten Ritter is on board as one of the female leads with additional casting underway.

Don't settle down, vampire Carrie! Everyone knows moving to Connecticut makes shopping vampires mortal!

I can't wait until this vampire thing plays itself out and we can get back to making trite, shitty films without forcing in a paranormal twist.

Nov 10 2009 Winona Ryder Is a Dancer, Joins Aronofsky's Next

Good news, Winona Ryder's agent! Winona Ryder is going to be in another movie!

Winona Ryder is in talks to co-star in Darren Aronofsky's supernatural thriller "Black Swan" opposite Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.

Set in the New York ballet world, the story centers on a veteran dancer (Portman) and a rival (Kunis) who are tangled in a manipulative relationship, but it's unclear whether the rival is real or a figment of the ballet dancer's imagination. Ryder will play a fellow dancer.

I get it: lure out-of-touch Gen-Xers in with the promise of Winona Ryder, then reveal to them the new, younger models of hip, dark-haired thin babes we now have to fawn over. Clever, Aronofsky. You'll acculturate them yet.

Nov 10 2009 'Spider-Man 4': Rachel McAdams Up for Black Cat??? Unknown Male Up for Male Villain???

With Batman sequel rumors calming momentarily, let's take some time to concentrate on different superhero movie casting speculation that probably won't end up being true. Like, did you hear how Rachel McAdams (and a guy) might be in Spider-Man 4???

Rachel McAdams has met with the producers of the film for a major role. McAdams (of 'Wedding Crashers' and 'Sherlock Holmes' fame) is said to be a top contender for the role of Felicia Hardy, known to comic fans as The Black Cat.

Fans recall that when Spidey first encounters the Black Cat, she's a cat burgler looking to free her ailing father from prison. She becomes smitten with the web-slinger, to the point of a stalker-level obsession. Later stories had Peter reciprocating her affection and her becoming a lover, a friend and ally (the perfect thing to allow Sony to create a Spidey spin-off).

And it looks like it'll be a two-villain movie. Our source also says they are casting for a male villain, but had few details. However, this would seem to discount the idea that Lizard is the primary, since the role of Dr. Conners has been cast since movie #2.

I guess Sam Raimi is hoping Spider-Man plots are like odometers, where if you stack on enough romantic conflicts and superfluous villains, eventually they'll roll over into a reasonable number again.

Nov 6 2009 Bradley Cooper Joins Crazy Power-Granting Pill Movie

Forget mobile phone-based thrillers, everyone. We've got a new ridiculous, specific brand of mysterious-agents-chasing-a-guy thriller on the way that sounds even better (stupider): the magic pill that makes you rich and powerful thriller! Finally, a film that turns Kids in the Hall's Brain Candy into something terrible. From Variety:

"The Hangover" star Bradley Cooper has signed on to star in Relativity Media suspense thriller "Dark Fields."

Neil Burger ("The Illusionist") is onboard to direct.

Project is described as a what-if story about a designer drug that can make you rich and powerful. Eddie (Cooper) is a down-and-out New York writer until he possesses a pill that gives him the ability to access the full capacity of his brain. He soon realizes that his newfound intelligence and success come at a hefty price as mysterious forces begin to pursue him.

That sounds really good. I really wish I could buy the cocktail napkin where the writer first scrawled, "something with some kind of really awesome pill?" That's going to be worth so much some day.

Nov 3 2009 Owen Wilson Providing Marmaduke's Voice in 'Marmaduke'

Because Marmaduke being a terrible, giant asshole dog who ruins every life he touches isn't enough to differentiate him from Beethoven or other large dogs not born with the ability for speech. He has to talk, also:

Wilson's boarding is the last piece of the puzzle for the live-action/CG movie, which has shades of Fox's surprise smash "Marley & Me" and follows a family named the Winslows who move from Kansas to Orange County with their dog Marmaduke, a slobbery pooch who creates chaos wherever he goes.

In adapting the strip created in 1954 by Brad Anderson and Phil Leeming, the script by Tim Rasmussen and Vince Di Meglio sees Marmaduke navigate a volatile Mutts vs. Pedigrees turf war, woo the purebred of his dreams and overcome a fall from grace.

So the movie is sort of The Karate Kid meets talking dog race wars? Man oh man. If Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson knew what moving pictures were, and if his mind weren't an 85-year-old confused mess that can only understand things in terms of how many or few dogs are causing mischief, he would be so pissed that his abhorrent comic were being turned into something that's repulsive for entirely different reasons.

Owen Wilson signs on for 'Marmaduke' [THR]

Nov 2 2009 Warner Bros. Hoping To Recreate Pure Magic of 'Bucket List'

With Morgan Freeman's death in The Bucket List (Bucket Spoiler!) virtually eliminating any possibility of a sequel ("virtually" because I don't think the idea of a ghost Freeman can ever be entirely ruled out), Warner Bros. is attempting to get the aging duo back together for a new film that will recreate that bucket magic that somehow made over $175 million. From THR:

Warner Bros. is pre-emptively picking up an untitled comedy spec by Josh Cagan and Greg Coolidge to which Morgan Freeman is attached to star and Peter Segal is eyeing to direct.

The script, which had a working title of "Dirty Old Men," revolves around an aging playboy who finally meets the love of his life and his best friend and wingman for the past 40 years (Freeman) who does everything to break up the new couple. The tone is described as similar to "Wedding Crashers" and "The 40-Year-Old Virgin."

The studio would love to have Jack Nicholson reteam with Freeman on the film; the pair starred in Warners' 2007 hit comedy "The Bucket List." Nicholson is not attached to the project but is aware of it.

Let's hope Nicholson gets on board this thing. We need someone to pick up the old guy mediocre comedy duo mantle left behind by Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau after Grumpier Old Men.

Oct 30 2009 Anthony Hopkins Agrees To Be Thor's Dad

Kenneth Branagh's Thor adaptation has added more surprising credibility to its cast. Variety reports Anthony Hopkins has signed on to play Odin, father to Loki (non-biologically) and Thor and king of Asgard, which will mean something if you're intimately familiar with Norse mythology and/or comic books.

To help you understand what powers and abilities Hopkins will possess in the role, I've copied a paragraph from the Odin (Marvel Comics) Wikipedia entry's section on powers and abilities, replacing "Odin" with "Sir Anthony Hopkins."

As King of the Norse Gods, Sir Anthony Hopkins possesses superhuman strength; durability and courtesy of the Golden Apples of Idunn, a greatly extended lifepsan. Sir Anthony Hopkins is capable of manipulating the Sir Anthony Hopkins Force - a source of magical energy - for a number of purposes, including energy projection; creation of ilusions and force fields; levitation; molecular manipulation and teleportation. The character has also used the Sir Anthony Hopkinspower for greater feats such as transporting the entire human race to an alternate dimension; compressing the population of an entire planet into a single being, the Mangog and taking a soul away from the arch-demon Mephisto.

This Sir Anthony Hopkins Force sounds pret-ty powerful.

Oct 28 2009 Dramedy Named After a Cracker Gets Solid Cast

Do you like the style of comedies that are also dramas, and vice versa? Then you may possibly enjoy Town House, just such a comedy-drama fusion that has Zach Galifianakis and Amy Adams in talks to star:

Story is loosely based on Tish Cohen's debut novel of the same name, which centers on an agoraphobic man, who lives with his teenage son in a historic Boston townhouse that he inherited from his rock star father. With royalties from his father's work dwindling, the man is forced to come to terms with his life. A call girl strikes up a friendship with the man. Doug Wright and Carney adapted the screenplay.

Galifianakis as an agoraphobe? That sounds like just the kind of meaty, socio-mutanty part he can sink his beard into. Computer, purchase tickets. Two. Weekend after opening.

Oct 26 2009 Brand, Bourne Also Have 'True Grit'

The Coen Brothers are making a more faithful adaptation of True Grit AND proven actors are taking the leads? YES. You thought you'd have to save up Make-A-Wish children to get such a dream come true, but it's happened:

Matt Damon and Josh Brolin are in discussions with Joel and Ethan Coen to join Jeff Bridges in “True Grit,” the re-imagining of the iconic 1969 Western that Paramount Pictures will put into production next March for late 2010 release.

The Coens, who previously attached their “Big Lebowski” star Bridges to play U.S. marshal Rooster Cogburn, are in talks with Damon to play the lawman (played by Glen Campbell in the original) who teams with Cogburn and a 14-year old girl to track her father’s killer into hostile Indian territory.

In a turnabout, Brolin is in talks to play the killer.

So, in short, a good movie with good actors will come out in a year. I'll let you know if I hear about any others.

Oct 22 2009 These Two Might Be Mad Max, Lady Mad Max

Despite being met by reactions ranging from apathy to disgust, it looks like the Mel Gibson-less Mad Max film is still moving steadily but slowly forward. E! has reportedly heard from multiple sources that, though director George Miller has been incredibly secretive about plot and details, he's looking at British actor Tom Hardy (from Band of Brothers, and looking crazy in this Bronson trailer) and Charlize Theron to play the leads.

So this means come-out-of-nowhere Australian action star Sam Worthington wasn't automatically cast as Australian hero Mad Max when the new film was announced? I just assumed.

Great. Now what am I going to do with all these shirts?

Oct 21 2009 Shane West Joins Werewolf/Dog Trainer Horror

Just when you thought we'd completely run the well dry of options for horror movie variations, now there's this: TWO werewolves... and also a horribly disfigured seeing-eye dog trainer? Says ShockTillYouDrop:

Shane West is the first to join the cast of Two Wolves, the werewolf flick we howled about last week.

Alex Wright rolls cameras next month from a script by Chris Freeman. We're told two other major rolls are currently close to being cast.

West's credits include The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Red Sands.

Two Wolves tells of a disfigured guide-dog trainer living at a secluded school for the blind who becomes the prime suspect in a string of violent murders.

Man, I hope Shane West didn't commit this string of murders. I'd hate to think Mandy Moore would ever regret that memorable walk to remember they took together.

Oct 8 2009 Just Give Marlon Wayans His Oscar Now

Marlon Wayans has nabbed Eddie Murphy's presumptive Oscar right out of his chubby, fat-suited hands. EW is reporting the White Chick is in talks to take over the role of Richard Pryor in an upcoming, Oscar-baiting biopic on the comedian:

Funny man Marlon Wayans is in advanced discussions to play one of comedy’s most iconic figures in the biopic Richard Pryor: Is it Something I Said for Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison Prods. and Sony Pictures. The project has been written and will be directed by Bill Condon (Dreamgirls). Eddie Murphy was originally attached to star in the project, but he dropped out over conflicts with Paramount Pictures, which was previously on board to finance the film.

I'm sure the comedy legend's soul will be pleased to know he'll be represented by a co-creator of the Scary Movie franchise. But I wonder, does the Happy Madison connection mean we'll be seeing Sandler as Gene Wilder or someone? The two of them recreating scenes from See No Evil, Hear No Evil might be one of the worst ideas my brain has ever whispered.

Anyway, forget what I said about Wayans winning an Oscar for this. Upon hearing this news, Jamie Foxx immediately announced, "Oh, shit, uh... I'm making a Bill Cosby thing then."

Oct 7 2009 Adrien Brody, Venom, Others Facing Multiple Predators

I've always said Adrien Brody and Topher Grace were basically the new Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers. At last, validation!

Adrien Brody is boarding to star in "Robert Rodriguez's Predators," Fox’s reboot of the sci-fi franchise being directed by Nimrod Antal.

Topher Grace is in negotiations to join the action-adventure movie, to which Alice Braga ("I Am Legend"), Mahershalalhashbaz Ali ("The 4400"), Walt Goggins ("The Shield"), Rodriguez mainstay Danny Trejo and UFC fighter Oleg Taktarov have also been cast.

Written by Rodriguez, Alex Litvak and Michael Finch, the script follows a group of elite warrior-types who are being hunted by members of a race of merciless alien trackers called Predators.

Brody is a man who ends up inheriting the mantle of leader and is known as a hunter of men. Grace would play an accountant-type whose unassuming facade masks a dangerous serial killer.

Braga is the tough female killer. Ali is a man not afraid to die, Goggins is the loose canon of the group and Taktarov is a former Russian special ops agent.

Trejo, already cast, is Cuchillo, a hardened warrior with twin uzis strapped to his back.

I guess that's good news from the Predators' point of view. It's got to be a lot easier to hunt Adrien Brody than Schwarzenegger.

Oct 1 2009 Hugh Jackman To Play Boxer, Robot Boxer Trainer

Hugh Jackman, our premiere song-and-dance-man/clawed-superhero, is in talks to join the ridiculous robot boxer movie Real Steal.

The Shawn Levy-directed film would reportedly star Jackman as a Rocky Balboa-esque down-and-out fighter making a comeback. Except, you know how Rocky had to train hard to fight a younger, tougher opponent? Instead of that, Jackman would be training a boxing robot, in order for that boxing robot to fight another boxing robot. It's that kind of comeback. A real man-finds-redemption-through-fighting-robots story.

Dreamworks is hoping to get the film shooting by May, and John Gatins and Levy currently are working on the third draft for the script in preparation. Keep at it, guys. With seven months until production, I know you'll figure out a way to make it believable when, inexplicably, the robot refuses to fight and Jackman has to put on a robot disguise and win the match, earning the respect of his son and himself (and robotkind).