Sep 11 2009 New 'Surrogates' Trailer: Putting All Those Obnoxious Android Model Bus/Subway Ads in Context
Haven't you always wanted to live the life of a Powerade commercial? Everyone has! That's why, in the future, we'll probably live through surrogate, robot bodies that can mountain climb, skydive, and have Craig Kilborn's hair better than any human (besides Craig Kilborn). But what if someone figures out how to MURDER the real humans behind the surrogates??? That's a Bruce Willis movie is what:
Jul 2 2009 Bruce Willis Being Bruce Willisy in 'Surrogates' Poster
Bruce Willis-with-goatee is being concerned in a tube while, below him, Bruce Willis-sans-goatee action figures are manufactured. That's Surrogates. I guess.
Exclusive Surrogates One-Sheet! [Coming Soon]
Jun 4 2009 'Couple of Dicks' Not Breaking Tracy Morgan Craziness Streak
In the grand tradition of Tracy Morgan doing crazy things on camera, yesterday the comedian was spotted riding a tricycle while dressed as a mobile phone as a pitbull violently pursued. According to Coming Soon, this was not standard, unfounded Tracy Morgan craziness but a scene from A Couple of Dicks, Kevin Smith's upcoming buddy comedy that also stars Bruce Willis as the 30 Rock star's partner.
If it turns out the case the two are trying to crack is "what crazy thing Tracy Morgan will do at the film's climax," I apologize profusely for the spoiler.
May 22 2009 'Surrogates' Trailer: 'Minority Report' with Androids
If Bruce Willis lived in a future where humans experience their lives by proxy through surrogates--androids that let you become "anyone you want to be"--who would Bruce Willis choose to be?
a. Brad Pitt.
b. Christian Bale.
c. Ashton Kutcher.
d. Himself with Craig Kilborn's hair.
Answer in this trailer for Surrogates:
Continue Reading " 'Surrogates' Trailer: 'Minority Report' with Androids "
Jan 14 2009 Bruce Willis Adding TV Job to Current Movie Job Schedule?
Bruce Willis returning to television for a Moonlighting movie reunion? Maybe!
The creator of "Moonlighting" was Glenn Gordon Caron, and a little bird tells us that Caron is hot to reunite Cybill and Bruce for a 20th anniversary "Moonlighting" TV movie. The most surprising aspect of this is that Bruce Willis, who went on to become one of the biggest movie stars in the world (still is), has shown definite interest. An insider says, "Bruce is ready to give it a go. He still holds a lot of fondness for the show."And, if a "Moonlighting" reunion gets off the ground, there is only one demand both Bruce and Cybill will make -- that Caron have creative control. Bringing David and Maddie back to life so many years later will be a daunting task. The stars feel only Caron can get it right.
Die Hard 4 is one thing, but going back to the '80s television role that made him famous? Come on. That's like Bronson Pinchot returning to Perfect Strangers--he is way too big a star (you know, after Beverly Hills Cop and that thing with John Larroquette and psychic powers).
Still, I can't wait to tell all my girlfriends on the CafeMom forums. They're going to be so excited.
Jun 21 2007 Kevin Smith Interviews Bruce Willis, Wears 'Jorts'
People are always asking me, 'Kevin, why would you let your 7-year-old daughter be your stylist?' and I always say, 'Look, I could just give her an allowance, but I wanted her to learn the value of hard work.'
Kevin Smith always seems to be at his best when he's not making movies. In this clip, he gets to interview Bruce Willis, asking such gems as, "Do you think if you were from anyplace else [besides Jersey], that you'd be Bruce Willis today?"
That is truly a question for the ages, Mr. Smith. Perhaps if he were from Houston instead, he'd be Stanley Griggs, a nebbish accountant with a hirsute fetish spawned when he was molested by a fur seal during a trip to the gulf. But really, I don't blame Smith for this interview - it's obvious it was edited by some studio suit's ADD-afflicted cousin and probably cuts out anything interesting that they covered. Bummer, 'cause I would kill for another giant spider story.
Jun 15 2007 10 Minutes of Die Hard Are....Eh?
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
10 minutes of Live Free or Die Hard (or as I like to call it, Die Hard 4: Someone is Trying to Die Me, Hard, but I Wanna Live Free and Not Die. Hard.) is now online at Yahoo Movies Japan. Medium Quality Version, High Quality Version
Judging by this, I'd say... eh. I'm not sure. It looks like they got the wisecracking down, but the music's a little much and I'm a bit worried they've turned John McClane into superman. But what the f***, I'll give it a chance. 'Cause I mean it's either go see that or bang supermodels. My life is so predictable.
May 15 2007 "Yippee Kai-Yay, MF" Cut Entirely?
Straight guys are named Bruce too, you know.
The news that Live Free or Die Hard will be rated PG-13 isn't exactly new, but now Monsters and Critics is reporting that "Yippee Kai-Yay, Motherf***er" has been cut entirely. From the post, it's a little unclear whether this information has been confirmed, or whether this is just an inference based on the rating.
If it's true, it's bogus. Real men like me only cut motherf***ers in prison.
May 10 2007 Bruce Willis Pwns Michael Bay, is My Hero
Why won't this hack die?
Apparently, Bruce Willis has been speaking out over on AICN about the new Die Hard Movie. I'll spare you the details of him defending the PG-13 rating, because the really interesting part is what he had to say when someone asked him about the possibility of Michael Bay doing a Die Hard film:
Wrote Willis: [Bay] “Would have ruined DH4. Few people will work with him now, and I know I will never work with him again.”
And he wasn't done telling it like it is. He also had this to say about producer Joel Silver (V for Vendetta, Gothika, Veronica Mars, House of Wax)
“F*** Joel Silver,” Willis responded. “That is because you do not understand my relationship with Joel S. We are cordial now when we bump into each other, but we have not worked together since Last Boy Scout.”“If my remarks here should ever appear in print, I will stand by them, but in the heat of the moment, when I was being told that only Joel S. could make a good Die Hard, I had to speak up. I should probably remain more diplomatic, but as this is a Site that primarily deals with Film, I spoke my mind. Joel S. know how I feel about him. And Perfect Stranger was ruined by the producers. Oddly enough, that film was meant to be a hard R rating, but when all the things that were meant to be in it were cut, EXCEPT for the F***’s, they got a PG-13 rating. Weird right? I was disappointed with that film, and I agree with you opinion of it. Everyone tried hard, worked hard, but it was not to be.”
There you have it, folks. Bruce Willis spends all his time ranting on message boards too. And to be honest, after seeing this clip of him wasted at a basketball game, I thought my opinion of him couldn't get any higher.
Except for that hanging out with your ex-wife and her new husband thing. That shit's weird.
May 3 2007 Live Free or Die Hard: Yippie Kai Yay! Uh..Dude.
"Okay, kid. Things are liable to get pretty intense in there. People are gonna die, heads will get blown off, I'll shout a lot; but whatever you do, don't swear. Swearing makes the baby Jesus cry."
In a victory for, like, Mormons everywhere, it looks like Live Free or Die Hard is going to be cut for a PG-13 rating.
I tried to watch the first Die Hard on basic cable once, but changed the channel when Bruce Willis shouted "Yippie Kai Yay, Mr. Falcon!" Seriously. I'll never understand why it's okay to bleep Jerry Springer but movie cursing has to be dubbed over with retarded gibberish.
"Forget you!" "No, forget you!" "Forget me? Forget your mother! In fact, both of you can go forget yourselves!" "Forget you and the horse you rode in on, pal."
Apr 17 2007 Bruce and Berry Bomb Bereft of Balky
Revolution Studios and Sony Pictures are bemoaning the drubbing that the Halle Berry/Bruce Willis flick "Perfect Strangers" took at the box office this weekend.
"Perfect Strangers," from Revolution Studios and Sony Pictures, received an overall grade of C-plus. Starring Halle Berry and Bruce Willis, the R-rated thriller had been expected to enjoy an edge over the rest of the competition, but instead ranked fourth for the weekend, with a gross of $11.2 million.They expected an edge over the rest of the competition? Without Balky? Get real, everyone knows he was the heart of the franchise.
According to IMDB, there have been seven films and TV series with the name "Perfect Strangers", and that's not even counting all the one's named "A Perfect Stranger". Is it really that hard to find a unique name? Get creative people. I had a kid once and named him "D'Brickashaw". Now everyone's copying me.
Apr 13 2007 Living Free, Dying Hard
It seems that the two Seinfeld vets who wrote and directed Live Free or Die, the independent film that opened on a handful of screens in New England last week, are a bit surprised to be nearly sharing a title with the soon-to-be-released Bruce Willis blockbuster.
Co-Writer/Director Gregg Kavet:
Well I don't know for sure that they stole it, but we didn't offer Bruce Willis the role. You know, and why pick Live Free or Die Hard? They have so many juicier titles to pick from, not least of which is Die Hardest.Die Hardest? Come on guys, if you want them to change the name you've gotta give 'em something better than that. Here are some of our suggestions:
Give Me Liberty or Give Me Die Hard
In God We Die Hard
Sic Semper Die Hard
I Regret That I Have But One Chance to Die Hard For My Country
Don't Tread on Me or You Will Die. Hard. 4.
Die Hard 4: Someone is Trying to Die Me, Hard, but I Wanna Live Free and Not Die. Hard.
Special thanks to muses Ben and Brendan for this one.
