Nov 11 2009 'Extraordinary Measures': Rated PG for a Mild Suggestive Moment
Brendan Fraser keeps having kids with terminal illnesses. What's a dad to do? A lesser father must just throw in the towel and decide, "Alright, I'll just ride these two out and stop having children," but not Brendan Fraser. He finds Harrison Ford and tells him, "You have to do more science faster!" And Harrison Ford replies, "OK, let's make cures and inspiration!"
Continue Reading " 'Extraordinary Measures': Rated PG for a Mild Suggestive Moment "
Nov 9 2009 'Extraodinary Measures' Poster Like a Magical Fusion of My Two Favorite Movies
Those two movies being Two Familiar Actors and Ghost Dads, obviously.
See the second Serious Dudes poster over at >Cinematical.
Jan 27 2009 Brendan Fraser Hated by Nature Itself
What now, Brendan Fraser? What now?
Brendan Fraser will star in and Roger Kumble will direct "Furry Vengeance," a live-action family comedy that will start production by early summer.Fraser will play a real estate developer whose new housing subdivision pushes far into a pristine part of the Oregon wilderness, pitting the developer against a band of angry critters.
My first thought upon reading this--and it was pondered with genuine concern--was, "Hmm, I wonder if that means talking CGI animals or trained, real animals with CGI and puppets used for the parts where the deer rams his testicles." That's how I know I've finally been broken.
Also, the title Furry Vengeance makes this sound like it's a horror movie about a killer in a giant fox costume, which would probably be the better picture. I'd definitely be terrified to see this guy coming at me with a knife (particularly if Stone Temple Pilots was still playing).
Brendan Fraser set for 'Vengeance' [Variety]
Jan 14 2009 Brendan Fraser Still Gettin' Those Roles
Hey, there's this now! It's a medical drama that still has no title but does have Brendan Fraser, Harrison Ford, and a premise based on a shocking true story:
Fraser will play John Crowley, the father of two children who were diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder for which he's told there is no cure. Unbowed, he seeks out the help of an experimental and sometimes irascible doctor (Ford) who works to find a way to save the children's lives. The roles of Fraser's wife and kids have not been cast in what CBS is calling its untitled Crowley project.
No surprise Fraser is in this. Given the well-accepted Infinite Monkeybone Theorem, Brendan Fraser will eventually be in every movie, because no matter how stupid or disastrous one is, Fraser's next film-toupee is always puffed up and middle-parted just over the horizon. But here's what makes this project extra special:
CBS Films chief Amy Baer oversaw development of the project at Sony and said she was drawn to its resonance. "It's an inspirational drama with universally relatable themes," she said. "It's the kind of story where, like an 'Erin Brockovich' or a 'Pursuit of Happyness,' people want to go on the journey because they want to accomplish that for themselves."
It's true. I really want to go on the journeys of Erin Brockovich and Will Smith pursuing happy-ness because I want to accomplish their successes for myself. We all want to be a sexy but respected lady reporter, and to get our son a juicy role in a movie--it's human nature. Untitled Crowley Project is continuing that tradition by offering more themes anyone can relate to--like the theme of having kids with a horrible genetic problem, and the theme of wanting to subject your children to dangerous, untested medicines under the the watchful eye of an old doctor prone to fits of fury. Who hasn't wished for that, or at least to see it in a theater? This is going to be the best FraserFilm yet.
Sep 18 2008 'Inkheart' Poster: Reading Makes Brendan Fraser Die Inside
You know those posters you'd see at the library as a kid, where it was like a photo of Michael J. Fox or William Hurt or some other celebrity with a book, and it said "READ", and you were like, "Sure, I'll read, but who the fuck is William Hurt? I'm eight"? Brendan Fraser should never be allowed to make one of those.
Inkheart Poster [IMPA]
Sep 18 2008 'Another Typical Children's Fantasy Book-Turned-Movie, with Brendan Fraser' Trailer
Here's the trailer for Inkheart, a movie in which Brendan Fraser's voice has the ability to bring literary characters to life, possibly because his is the only character without an English accent. Hey, B.F., could you pretend you're putting some kind of effort into this? I know you've been coasting for a while on goofy shouting, appearing clueless, and running from a green screen, but come on. I've been waiting 15 years for you to blow your G.D. nose. Could you at least do that?
Aug 5 2008 'The Mummy 4' Will Probably Be a Thing
Is critical lambasting and moderate attendance by bored audiences who already saw Batman considered "reponding well"? Because if it is, director Rob Cohen warns there will be a fourth Mummy, and that would be terrible. From MTV (Mummy 3 spoiler alert!):
Brendan Frasier as an immortal hero up against an immortal villain is just one of many ideas “Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” director Rob Cohen wants to explore in another installment of the blockbuster series, he told MTV News, insisting that a fourth installment is all but guaranteed if audiences respond well to “Mummy 3.”“Rick, because he was treated by the pool of eternal life, Rick is now immortal. I’d love to explore how that plays out for him,” Cohen said. “Another spoiler, Jonathan [John Hannah] winds up with the artifact in this film and he doesn’t realize, nor do we, what its powers are. In my mind, that artifact still has a lot of prizes in it, the eye of Shangri La, this big diamond.”
Alright, so a mummy-based Highlander does sound like kind of a fantastic idea, but I don't think it's worth it if the trade off is having to imagine Brendan Frasier as an immortal. It would make me too sad to think of him, the last survivor of our long-dead society, his final wisps of hair drifting to the ground as he outlasts the glue affixing them, quietly chuckling to himself as he remembers a particular scene from Monkeybone. And besides, we all know it would be, like Mummy 3, very bad.
Then again, I have an opening in 2015 for watching something terrible on TBS at 3 in the morning, so fuck it, let's make this thing. Skateboard Mummy Seal of Indifferent Approval: granted.
Jun 23 2008 'The Mummy 3' Trailer, Sponsored by Papa Johns
If you've been to the Papa John's Pizza website in the last few days (I don't know how you wouldn't have been, but I'll indulge the faint possibility), you'll have noticed that the page has been updated with the trailer for The Mummy 3: All Wrapped Up in China. It's a perfect fit: Brendan Fraser and mummies in general are known for their insatiable love of pizza--coining such phrases as, "Cowabunga, it's pizza time!" and "I really love Papa John's pizza!"--making them obvious spokesmen for the company.
Anyway, the trailer is here. It contains many stupid things, most of them in the form of Xena-level CGI and forced jokes from the mouth of Brendan Fraser. I found myself mostly annoyed at the poor military leadership of the Dragon Emperor, having his undead legions fire arrows at the rival army of skeletons. Arrows against skeletons?! Good luck with that.
Apr 29 2008 'Mummy 3' Teaser Poster, and a Pretty Appropriate Reaction
I didn't really know what to say about this one, outside of describing it as the image of a screaming mummy head meant to promote a terrible mummy sequel to a terrible mummy movie. So I showed it to a friend, who gave me his unprovoked reaction:
"HELP MEH!!!" That's f***ing awesome. But then you see Brendan Fraser at the top.
Well said.
Il poster della Mummia 3 [Bad Taste]
Apr 18 2008 New 'Journey to Center of the Earth 3D' Trailer Maintains Stupidity Quotient
While acclaimed blockbuster directors like Robert Zemeckis and James Cameron attempt to legitimize digital 3-D as a tool to more fully immerse the audience in their world, there is a lone voice fighting to maintain the sheer novelty of the craft. That voice comes from one Brendan Fraser, straight-faced and shouting "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the center of the earth" from the 3-dimensional caverns of the 3-dimensional earth's core in Journey of the Center of the Earth 3D. But he might as well be shouting, "Take that, 3-d legitimacy! Look at this dinosaur jumping at you purely for shock value!" As far as I can tell from this second trailer, the plot is still "anything that would look cool 3-D, narrated by Brendan Fraser," and the characters serve the same purpose as the Hulk portraits surrounding a Six Flags roller-coaster: flat, lifeless backgrounds to a vapid thrill ride. But since it's all in the name of keeping 3D stupid, I'll forgive it.
Feb 19 2008 'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D' Lives Up to Claims
When I'm watching a movie that goes so far with the 3D gimmick as to mention it in its title, I expect a certain amount of ridiculousness for the sake of optical depth: stuff flying at the camera, some deep holes, or anything else that makes you acutely aware of your binocular vision. What I don't expect is a sink drain POV giving me the full experience of Brendan Fraser's gargled spit. It's a rare film moment--commonplace in the Saw series--that's equal parts stupid and disgusting.
But that somehow isn't the worst part. That comes at the point in the trailer pictured above. Is this the laziest, most blatant attempt at depth ever, or is Fraser's face covered by the book simply to mask his eye rolling? That would make sense, except that he was also in multiple Mummy movies, and manages to deliver "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the center of the earth" with a straight face, so I'm tempted to say it's just lazy. Then again, with a family film so daringly post-modern as to acknowledge its own source material (Fraser's character proves the Verne novel to be fact-based), it's not so crazy to think this is another meta-wink at the audience, letting us know that the characters are acutely aware of the third dimension. I'm not sure if this is really stupid or borderline brilliant.
Continue Reading " 'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D' Lives Up to Claims "
Jan 10 2008 'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D' as Series of 2D Images
Remember a couple days ago, when the poster to Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D showed us its theme park-like world of giant, awesome dinosaurs? Well, New Line has released some production stills from the upcoming film, and they've left me wondering where all the giant, awesome dinosaurs went? Dull scenes of Brendan Fraser's holding flashlights and reading the actual book the movie is based on are not suddenly exciting just because of the presence of 3D glasses and thinning hair. Though it will be interesting to see how post-modernism translates into the third dimension.
Jan 8 2008 'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D' as a Poster
Possible quotes to use on this poster:
"The most Brendan Fraser-y cover of a Choose Your Own Adventure book yet!"
"Jules Verne's immortal classic told with all the dignity of a Universal Studios ride."
"Fraser-fuled excitement that pops out at you with the same virility as its WordArt title."
"A much-desired Crocodile Dundee 2-style look at Encino Man."
"Shit, do you see that awesome T-Rex?"
Feel free, New Line. They're yours for the taking.
'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D Poster Premiere [Cinematical]
Jan 7 2008 AM Poster Post: 'Air I Breathe Poster' Is So Deep
A butterfly resting on a handgun. Such a jarring combination of beauty and violence; so deep. Nearly as meaningful as a gazelle perched on a nuclear silo, or a breast plopped next to a land mine. Well done, The Air I Breathe, in hiding your convoluted plot of Crash-meets-Next behind the steadfast mask of rap video symbolism.
The Official MySpace page for The Air I Breathe [official site]
Nov 15 2007 'The Air I Breathe' Trailer Breathes Itself Online
What would you get if you took the intertwining melodrama of Crash, keeping Brendan Fraser for some reason, replaced all the racial issues with the supernatural ability to tell the immediate future, and added monotone narration? The Air I Breathe, of course, or at least it would seem from the trailer.
I've heard this is actually pretty good. Is that possible? Can anyone confirm this? While I give them credit for not using song "The Air That I Breathe," the only part that got me excited was seeing George of the Jungle's face beaten in. But if there's more of that, I could see how it might be pretty enjoyable.
Trailer under the cut.
Continue Reading " 'The Air I Breathe' Trailer Breathes Itself Online "
Nov 14 2007 'Mummy 3' Cursing Us With More Images
Filmz.ru has a bunch of new shots from The Mummy 3: The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor for the fans of embalmed corpses/Brendan Fraser/Jet Li/masochism. As a warning, those who said a film couldn't be made using old costume pieces from Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes and Tyra Banks's hair extensions are in for a sad shock.
Mummy 3 Stills [Filmz.ru]
Oct 23 2007 First Shot of Jet Li in Mummy 3 is Astounding
When I heard Jet Li was going to have a role in the mummiest movie of the coming year, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, I couldn't wait to see what kind of villain the actor would portray.
Would he be a Wrath of Khan-style cunning mind bent on vengeance to Brendan Fraser's nearly-retarded adventurer Kirk? More of a sadistic madman Joker to Fraser's boobish Batman? A perfectly-matched foil, like Moriarty to an idiot Holmes?
Oh. It turns out he jumps around doing martial arts. I suppose that makes sense.
Jet Li in The Mummy 3 [Rob Cohen's Blog]
