Nov 19 2009 Game That Hasn't Come Out Already Becoming a Movie
Thanks to Reliance BIG Entertainment and Brad Pitt’s production company! Risky Business reports the two companies are developing Capcom's upcoming Rocketeer-looking, third-person shooter that you've never played into a feature film, with an eye for Pitt to star:
“Void” centers on a a cargo pilot named Will (Pitt’s presumed character) who, after crashing in the Bermuda Triangle, ends up in a parallel universe where a band of humans must fight an alien threat they had long been thought extinct. Will and the other humans are outmanned but have a number of weapons and powers to help them beat back the alien incursion.
Fans of the game are already of mixed opinion, split between, "We don't exist yet; the game hasn't even fucking come out! You're speculatively making this, but a film based on the hugely successful Halo series can't get off the ground? Jesus Christ, no wonder studios are going out of business," and, "Sounds gay."
Sep 22 2009 I Already Can't Wait for 'Sherlock Holmes 2'! Wait, No, Warner Bros. Can't Wait for 'Sherlock Holmes 2'
God, Warner Bros. really wants to kiss Guy Ritchie's new Sherlock Holmes. Variety is reporting that, despite it being three months before the film's release, WB is already hiring a new writing team to take on a sequel, and have their eyes on Brad Pitt to play Holmes' biggest adversary (besides opium):
The studio is poised to bring on Kieran and Michele Mulroney, the scribes who are penning its "Justice League: Mortal" tentpole, to pen a draft of the new tale. Brad Pitt has had discussions with producers to star as Holmes' nemesis Moriarty in the new pic, say people familiar with the project, though there is no deal in place for him to take the part.
Now all they need to do is find a part for Ewan McGregor and there can finally be one film with every celebrity I've felt threatened by because of how often a girlfriend would bring up how attractive they are.
Aug 13 2009 Exclusive! See What You'd Look Like With Unwed Parents!
In the tradition of Trekking Yourself, Transformering Yourself, and Respecting Yourself, now you can see what you'd look like as one of the Inglourious Basterds by Basterdising Yourself. Just upload a photo, push some adjustment buttons, choose your killing instrument, and before you know it: you're a Basterd Trading Card. Or, if you'd prefer not to be a Basterd, do like me and just see what it would look like if Brad Pitt pulled an Eddie Murphy and played every role. Treat yourself to a brief distraction from your typical workday of Facebook quizzes.
Jul 9 2009 Another 'Inglourious Basterds' Poster: We Call This a "Hero Shot"
Even when photographing a pile of devastated Nazi corpses, Tarantino just can't resist the opportunity to once again visually assert his foot fetish.
Jun 24 2009 'Inglourious Basterds' Theatrical Trailer: Nazi Killin' Time, Everyone
Seeing Mike Myers doing an accent in facial prostheses and not being expected to politely laugh is still more jarring than any of the graphic bloodshed:
Continue Reading " 'Inglourious Basterds' Theatrical Trailer: Nazi Killin' Time, Everyone "
Jun 17 2009 'Inglourious Basterds' Poster Goes Two Point Oh
I know the glossy, perfectly-reflective surfaces of Web 2.0 is the hot right now (at least until Web 3.0, which I anticipate will see a return to lens flares and "under construction" gifs), but there are some things that should not look like they're being purchased from the shadowless, lazily-mirrored floor of Apple's online store. Brutal Nazi-slaughterers are one of those things. Instead of white, reflective floor, how about... we can see down into the fiery pits of Hell, and amongst the screaming, scalped Nazis, the Devil himself is using his own urine to extinguish the surrounding flames in a frantic attempt to hide himself from Brad Pitt's band of insane, vengeful killers.
Sorry, I get most of my poster ideas from death metal lyrics.
Inglourious Basterds Poster [Bad Taste] (via JoBlo)
May 20 2009 New Clips from 'World War II: Quentin Tarantino Style'
How many scenes in Inglourious Basterds consist of characters--mostly Brad Pitt--giving long, blatantly Tarantinan (the state of being Tarantino-like) near-monologues in accents of varying believability? Well, according to these three new clips, the answer is: at least three scenes. Plus all the previously released scenes that were also that.
Anyway, here they are:
Continue Reading " New Clips from 'World War II: Quentin Tarantino Style' "
May 4 2009 Brad Pitt is a 'Basterd' (Not a Glourious One)
AICN put up this character poster from Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, and it got me thinking: are you allowed to say "bastards," even misspelled, in advertisements? It seems like there will inevitably be some complaints from the crazies. Not to mention Walmart. Walmart is never going to sell a movie called Inglourious Basterds. They're going to have to put the DVD in some special Walmart sleeve, re-label it Pitt and Pals, and add the warning: "Some sequences depict characters born of unwed parents that do not necessarily feel His glory."
Apr 22 2009 'Ridley Scott Making Monopoly Movie' Not the Made-Up Part
From The Onion Radio News:
Funny, but also raises a good question: will the pieces be characters in the Monopoly movie? It would be ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than a Monopoly movie already is, and a tuxedo-wearing Ian Holm complaining about medical bills is probably only enough meat for half a film.
Apr 15 2009 'Inglourious Basterds' Promo from The Singing Show
This new promo for Inglourious Basterds apparently aired during American Idol (which inexplicably featured Quentin Tarantino as a judge for the second time?) last night, because there's a huge audience cross-over between those who love brutal cinematic violence and those who text VOTE to 1-800-IDOL. But you needn't concern yourself with that. Concern yourself with why Mike Myers latest prosthetics/accent combination has rendered him a British military version of character actor Jeffrey Jones:
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Mar 18 2009 Or Does Natalie Portman Love 40ish Photographer Brad Pitt?
Sorry for the silent morning. Con Edison decided to dig some trenches and knock out the power for most of the day, disabling all my electricity-based devices. I'm probably upgraded to some sort of super electricity now though, so a fair trade all in all.
Anyway, let's do movie news. Natalie Portman and Brad Pitt have signed on to star in an adaptation of the Leanne Shapton lengthy-titled book Important Artifacts and Personal Property from the Collection of Lenore Doolan and Harold Morris, Including Books, Street Fashion, and Jewelry. Romantic comedy just got incredibly pretentious:
The book takes the form of Sotheby's-like estate auction catalog, with 325 entries and photographs depicting items that reveal the private moments and the rise and fall of a four-year relationship between the fictitious couple Hal Morris (a 40ish photographer) and Lenore Doolan, (a New York Times food columnist in her late 20s).The project will be developed as a romantic comedy, with Pitt to play Morris, and Portman to play Doolan.
Shapton, an illustrator and art director of the NYT's Op-Ed page, uses items that range from clothes to notes, e-mails and heirlooms to convey the excitement, the hopes and dreams, and ultimately the heartache of a love affair that runs its course.
I can't wait for the scene when the Sotheby's-like auction house is about to sell off all of Natalie Portman's emails, but then Brad Pitt, camera dangling from his neck to show he's a photographer, steps in and silently raises his number paddle--because he still loves Natalie Portman, and he doesn't want her to auction away her emails.
My bet for the title: Auction. No, wait... Bidding on the Heart.
Pitt, Portman to star in 'Artifacts' [Variety]
Feb 11 2009 'Inglourious Basterds' Teaser Will Beat You with Baseball Bat, Carve Swastika into Your Head
If it were like the '40s and I was enlisting as a Nazi, I would hope, before signing the final paper, someone would show me this video just to get me the fair warning: "Look, being a Nazi, yes, you get the glory of fighting for our führer, and of course there are all the beautiful Aryan girls, but there's also Brad Pitt and these eight other dudes that want to mercilessly torture and kill us, and with Pitt asking for 100 scalps a piece, that's at least 800 of you who are going to be praying for death as Eli Roth beats you with a Louisville Slugger. Just so you know."
Feb 10 2009 Brad Pitt Wants Nazi Scalps So Bad
Entertainment Tonight spoiler alert: the screaming gossip show will be debuting the teaser trailer for Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, and in their usual fashion, last night ET showed a brief preview for the preview. If the full movie is like a birthday cake, and the trailer is like getting a taste of the frosting, this preview preview is like thinking you see someone carrying a cake-shaped thing to their car, but before you can check it out someone starts shouting at you about Angelina Jolie possibly being pregnant again. Something like that.
Dec 22 2008 'Thundercats' Trailer Made From Old Clips and Computers
I saw this all over the place today, so it's about time I post it behind everyone else. Here's an insanely elaborate fan-made trailer for a Thundercats movie that casts Brad Pitt, Vin Diesel, Hugh Jackman, girl from Farscape, Spy Kids, and CGI Garfield in the lead roles:
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Dec 15 2008 Wes Anderson and Brad Pitt for SoftBank
This is probably one of the most boring Japanese commercials with an American celebrity in it. They're supposed to be loud and garish and Japanese, with the celebrity forced to awkwardly shout foreign phrases directly at the camera. This Wes Anderson-directed ad for SoftBank just looks like a deleted scene from The Darjeeling Limited that stars Brad Pitt as the guy from Curious George:
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Dec 12 2008 A Couple Photos from 'Inglourious Basterds'
From Tarantino.info (thanks to Pat), here are a couple new shots from Inglourious Basterds. In this first photo, the puckered skin around Brad Pitt's neck is supposedly a scar from a lynching, not the first sign that the actor is developing a waddle. And here are some Nazis getting way too excited about playing Indian poker:
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Dec 10 2008 Brad Pitt Either Finding This Really Great City or Dying
Paramount has arranged for We Own the Night director James Gray to adapt and direct The Lost City of Z, and more impressively, Brad Pitt will star. Have you heard of this guy? Really popular actor. Here's the story:
Paramount has set "We Own the Night" helmer James Gray to direct "The Lost City of Z." Gray will adapt the David Grann book for Brad Pitt to star in as British soldier and spy Percy Fawcett.The nonfiction book by Grann, a staffer at the New Yorker, will be published in April by Doubleday. Paramount acquired it earlier this year for Pitt to produce through his Par-based Plan B banner.
Fawcett left Victorian society to explore in the Amazon, and he became obsessed by the idea of an advanced civilization he called Z, which he believed existed in the depths of the jungle. Along with his son, Fawcett headed into the jungle in 1925 in search of Z and was never seen again.
This could end up being a pretty interesting Moby Dick-style character study, where a man's obsession becomes his ultimate undoing. But even if it ends up being nothing like that, at least it's being kept away from Jerry Bruckheimer. You give him this story, we'd have Z, Z2: Escape from Z, Z3: Revenge of Z, and Z: The Ride by 2012.
Nov 25 2008 'Benjamin Button' International Trailer
Paramount has released a new trailer for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, David Fincher's film about a man who was born in his eighties and ages backwards. It has a lot of new footage, but sadly doesn't touch on the part where Revlon scientists kidnap Benjamin Button and dissect him for his secrets. Give it a look:
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Nov 17 2008 'Curious Case of Benjamin Button' Poster
Here's the first poster for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Cleverly, the majority of the text is written backwards because Pitt ages backwards in the film. And his lips are horribly chapped because nothing sells a movie like sore, bloody lips.
Nov 12 2008 'Curious Case of Benjamin Button' TV Commercial, Dudes!
Here's a new TV spot for David Fincher's The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The more I see of this tale of Brad Pitt reverse aging, the more I think reverse aging wouldn't be so bad. I like the idea of being popular in the nursing home--even if it's because everyone thinks I'm their grandson--and if we ever get jet packs, it would be a real shame if I was too feeble to wear them. On the downside, it might be sad to watch your friends and loved ones age around you, but think about this: what about your enemies? You get to watch them die too!
Continue Reading " 'Curious Case of Benjamin Button' TV Commercial, Dudes! "
