Sep 25 2009 There's Not Enough Money To Buy Hobbits and James Bonds!
In news that could jeopardize our future supplies of James Bond and J.R.R. Tolkien films, MGM reportedly held a conference call with bondholders (something business people do) informing them that, despite the studio's early success of dressing up dogs and dubbing funny voices over them, now they're super broke:
MGM made a desperate plea for money because the studio had missed its numbers and was going to be out of funds very soon. "The implication was that it's teetering on bankruptcy," one source told me. MGM said it needed $20M in short-term cash flow to cover overhead, and an additional $150 million to get through the end of year and continue funding its projects, and to start Peter Jackson's Hobbit.So the bondhholders said to MGM, in essence, that they were going to let the studio go bankrupt and collect their money since they'd be first in line to get paid. But Cooper explained that this would be the worst possible outcome for the creditors and the company. Because if MGM were forced into bankruptcy, then it would lose James Bond and the studio doesn't think it can stay alive without 007.
Strangely, the article makes no mention of how this could affect production of MGM's upcoming Jeeper Creepers 3: The Creeper Walks Among Us. That's still going be OK, right? RIGHT?
Nov 21 2008 Bond Girl Has Betrayed Soviet Party
The Communist Party of St. Petersburg has expressed outrage at actress Olga Kurylenko for assisting "the killer of of hundreds of Soviet people and their allies." Wait, I'm sorry, that's not right. They're upset that Kuylenko played a movie character who assisted another movie character who has killed Soviet people in movies. From Yahoo:
The Ukrainian actress, who plays a Bolivian secret agent opposite Daniel Craig's 007 in "Quantum Of Solace", has also gained ire of the Communist Party of St. Petersburg, which in an open letter on its website condemned her for aiding "the killer of hundreds of Soviet people and their allies." The group's statement describes 007 as "a man who worked for decades under the orders of Thatcher and Reagan to destroy the USSR."
God, so true. When will Bond be tried for his Cold War crimes? Here's another good point:
Sergei Malenkovich, head of the party's regional organization, further elaborated ... arguing the movie wanted "to show that a Ukrainian girl sleeps with an American. It's a part of information and psychological war." Never mind that Kurylenko's character does not sleep with 007 in the film or that James Bond is, in fact, not American but British.
Whups, time to get a fact checker, Sergei. Or maybe watch the movie. Still, valid points.
Don't worry about the Bond actress, though. Kurylenko's soul is still not beyond saving. She can redeem herself to her people. SO LONG AS SHE BRINGS IN DANIEL CRAIG FOR QUESTIONING!
Her supposed betrayals will be forgiven, the group promised in its statement, if the actress delivers her co-star Craig to the Russian secret service. "Let him tell what other plans are being written in the Pentagon and Hollywood to discredit Russia and drive a wedge between the Russian and Ukrainian peoples."
"We have a few questions for you, Mr. [actor who played] Bond. Will Boris and Natasha ever capture moose and squirrel? Why will Rocky not consent to a rematch with Ivan Draco? That sun-powered guy from Superman IV--that was supposed to be us, right?"
"I don't know, guys. I'm just an actor playing a part."
"No, Mr. Bond, you're... will die!"
Personally, I'm still pissed at the guy who played Boba Fett for playing any role where he would assist Darth Vader. You know how many innocent people that guy killed on Alderaan alone? Actor who played Boba Fett, you're a disgrace to have assisted Vader in the capture of Han Solo. Not to mention sleeping with him.
(Thanks to Justin, who points out, "Playing a Russian hooker in Hitman is apparently an acceptable communist job but an international spy is not.")
Oct 9 2008 Photos Reveal Something Happens in 'Quantum of Solace'
Flicks News has passed along what appear to be some spoilers photos from the set of the new Bond movie, so if you're OK with a spoilers, click ahead. That's your warning.
Continue Reading " Photos Reveal Something Happens in 'Quantum of Solace' "
Oct 1 2008 'Another Way to Die': This Bond Music Video
I hadn't even considered people might want to listen to Jack White and Alicia Keys' new Bond theme as a recreational activity outside of the film, but presumably that's the pitch with this music video for their song, Another Way to Die. Surprisingly, I didn't mind it this time, or at least not until it went on for an additional two minutes after I wanted it to stop. But I do like how Jack White is getting one of those weird mom hairstyles that aging former-hair band members always get. It says "I'm a rocker, but I'm also chic. And a mom."
Video past the cut.
Continue Reading " 'Another Way to Die': This Bond Music Video "
Sep 25 2008 James Bond Always Has the Coolest Vehicles
God, two-tone? So rad.
More new Quantum of Solace photos here.
Sep 24 2008 Final 'Quantum of Solace' Poster Takes It to Mars
First Earth's moon, now Mars. Bond is going to fuck up every celestial body we've got.
Quantum of Solace Poster [IMPA]
Sep 18 2008 New Bond Theme Sounds a Lot Like a Coke Commercial
It's normal for me to wake up with yet another reason to die, but today, thanks to IWS reader SunKing, I was surprised to awaken to Another Way To Die--the new Jack White/Alicia Keys Bond theme, that is! It's the kind of grating song that assures you it's fine if you show up to the theater a few minutes late. Don't get me wrong; it's far better than Chris Cornell's Casino Royale theme, but since it isn't 1994, that isn't that huge of an accomplishment.
Sep 16 2008 Hear the New Bond Theme; Drink Refreshing Coke Zero
It's perhaps James Bond's most quotable line: the spy's famous request for his favorite drink. No, not when he orders a martini shaken, not stirred. I mean all the times he says, "Coke. Sugar free. But not Diet Coke. That newer one." So it only makes sense that we'd hear our first taste of Jack White's new Bond theme in a Coke Zero commercial, right? White apparently doesn't think so. From BBC News:
He reportedly says in a statement he is "disappointed" the song is being heard for the first time on an advert.He wrote the song for the film, "not for Coca Cola", the statement adds.
"Any other use of the song is based on decisions made by others, not by Jack White," NME.com quoted the statement as saying.
Yeah, Jack White. God knows you would never sell out for Coke. Oh, wait.
Anyway, hear an instrumental version of the new theme below the cut, and do your best to resist the urge to buy a calorie-free carbonated drink marketed towards young males resistant to purchase items labeled as "diet," even though purchasing said beverage might make YOU exactly like James Bond.
Continue Reading " Hear the New Bond Theme; Drink Refreshing Coke Zero "
Sep 10 2008 New 'Quantum of Solace' Trailer is Pure Awesome Things
About a month ago, when the Death Race trailer came out, I offhandedly mentioned to my roommate how bad it looked. He asked what happens in it, and my response was something like, "I don't know. It's just Jason Statham driving around in a car with guns, and some other guys are attacking him in their rival cars with flamethrowers and spikes."
Him: "That sounds kind of awesome."
Me: "Yeah, as I was describing it I was thinking how that sounded kind of awesome too. But it's actually not. Trust me."
My point is, this trailer for Quantum of Solace succeeds where that failed because, when I describe all the jumping and shooting and driving motorcycles over things, it actually will be because it's awesome, and that's a surprisingly rare feat in a world where that should always be pretty awesome. It also succeeds where the Death Race trailer failed in that it's not a trailer for Death Race. So watch it.
Continue Reading " New 'Quantum of Solace' Trailer is Pure Awesome Things "
Jul 30 2008 Reasonable People Teaming for New Bond Theme
Columbia Pictures has announced that Alicia Keys and The White Stripes' Jack White will be providing the theme song to Quantum of Solace. From Coming Soon:
Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli, producers of the highly anticipated 22nd James Bond adventure Quantum of Solace, announced today that multi-Grammy Award-winning and platinum selling recording artists Jack White of the rock band The White Stripes, and Alicia Keys, have recorded the theme song for the film, which will be released worldwide this November.Their song, written and produced by Jack White, and titled "Another Way to Die," will be the first duet in Bond soundtrack history. In addition to writing the song, Jack White is also featured as the drummer on this track.
As a reminder, Chris Cornell provided the theme to Casino Royale. To put that in perspective, that's like going from the lead singer of Soundgarden to absolutely anyone relevant. Metaphorically.
Jul 17 2008 'Quantum of Solace' Poster: James Bond, Moon Patrol
First Showing has revealed a new poster for Quantum of Solace. Really, why are they trying so hard to make it look like this Bond takes place on the surface of an alien planet? I mean, a Moon Patrol movie should definitely happen, but if this isn't it, let's not tease.
Jun 30 2008 Trailer for 'Quantum of Solace' (The New Bond Movie That Takes Place on the Surface of the Moon)
I've had trouble getting things (internets) working all morning, but things (internets) seem to be OK now, so here's the trailer to the Quantum of Solace, the latest chapter of the Bond series that picks up right where the last one left off: with punching dudes and laying some girls.
Apr 4 2008 Image: 'Quantum of Solace' Stars... a Beautiful Model/Actress?!
USA Today has some new photos of Bond, his villain, and his disposable woman to accompany their lengthy article on the upcoming Quantum of Solace. And with them comes good news for those who have let the thought of Bondian sloppy seconds detract from their enjoyment of the ladies: Bond doesn't even "do" this one! But that doesn't mean vicarious sex lovers will be left out in the cold. Rest assured, the articles also confirms that the spy does bed several other undisclosed women.
James Bond series takes a 'Quantum' leap [USA Today]
Feb 7 2008 Bond's 'Quantum of Solace' Poster as Wallpaper
In an effort to make the character more relatable to middle-America, this outing will see Bond go out to an empty parking lot and recreationally unload a few rounds, then drive his pick-up around hitting shopping carts until he finishes his 12-pack.
Thanks, Kyle.
Quantum of Solace Poster Wallpaper [007.com]
Jan 25 2008 First Shots of 'Quantum of Solace' Cast
Even though the title to Bond 22 was just released, these detailed-yet-creepy wax recreations of the stars clearly took months to construct. They even nailed the classic Bond sandwich pose.
More press shots here.
Jan 24 2008 Bond Chooses Catchy Title: 'Quantum of Solace'
Diana has informed me that the newest Bond adventure has adopted the catchy new title of Quantum of Solace. Unmemorable, strangely scientific, and too similar to Superman's Fortress of Solitude, the name apparently comes from a slow-paced Ian Fleming short story in which Bond plays a slight background role. I can only imagine what the theme song will sound like (and if it will be written by as hot of an up-and-coming artist as Chris Cornell). I'd like to think it will be sort of a house beat with a repeated sample of a gruff, dad-like character shouting "Can't a man get one quantum of solace in this place?!"
Jan 8 2008 Bond Girl Officially Named, Quickly Effed By Bond
Of all the credentials a young actress can add to her burgeoning resume, few are as strangely-coveted as being crowned Bond's next film-f***. For months, speculation has run rampant as to who would be next be sacrificed to the loins of Daniel Craig, but at last we have an answer in Olga Kurylenko, who you recently saw in Hitman, if you saw Hitman for some reason. The casting process, per usual, followed the same stringent guidelines given to Poison roadies when finding groupies to bring back to the bus: Just make sure she's hot--and no trannies.
Gemma Arterton, previously rumored for the "Bond Girl" role, will instead be playing Agent Fields, head of selling cookies in malls.
Kurylenko lands lead in Bond film [Variety]
Jan 7 2008 First Shots From Set of 'Bond 22'
New shots from the set of Bond 22: finally the proof we need that the secret agent is an octogenarian hiding behind an enviable physique and a small tuft of blonde hair.
More at Just Jared.
Dec 17 2007 New Bond Girl Maybe, Possibly Revealed
According to Female First, the next Bond girl has been named, and St. Trinity's (oops!) St. Trinian's star Gemma Arterton will be the next lady to face the love-em-and-leave-em assault of Daniel Craig's nether-regions. Aside from this coming from a publication called Female First, and the fact that a new Bond girl is falsely named on a weekly basis, the credibility of this claim comes into question largely because Arterton's last name is spelled incorrectly in every instance they provide. Still, at least seeing her gives a peek at what Kelly Osbourne would look like were she birthed by really attractive parents, instead of, say, Ozzy Osbourne.
Bond school-girl revealed [Female First]
Dec 5 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened...
- Adam Brody has been more-or-less confirmed as The Flash in Justice League of America. In related news, I've added a dash more paprika to my pot of boiled shit. [Cinematical]
- Rudy and Hoosiers director David Anspaugh has signed on for Phenom, the Chris Brown-starring tale of a high school basketball player who goes pro after discovering his father is the NBA's top player. No word on whether Judith Light or William Devane will be reprising their roles. [Variety]
- Edward Norton will take on the Eddie Murphy-style task of playing dual roles in Leaves of Grass, a comedic thriller written and directed by Tim Blake Nelson. According to Variety, "Norton will play identical twins, one an Ivy League classics professor and the other a hedonistic pot-smoking career criminal." And you said no one could make a stupider version of The Patty Duke Show.
- Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to star in Unfinished Country, where he'll play "the chief administrator of an overcrowded hospital located in the middle of South Africa's violent Soweto ghettos." But I bet he's totally a bad-ass chief administrator of an overcrowded hospital. [Hollywood Reporter]
- French actor Mathieu Amalric (above) has scored the lead villain role in Bond 22. Also, he's won the role of "creepy sexual predator" in every Dateline reenactment from here on. [Empire]
