Oct 20 2009 'Spy Next Door' Trailer: The Rock Sadly Was Not Available For This Picture

You think being a spy is hard, Jackie Chan? Try supervising three children! And a PIG! (Cue record screech):

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Nov 26 2008 Don't Tell My Brain B.R. Cyrus Joined 'Spy Next Door'

Four new cast members have been added to Jackie Chan's The Spy Next Door, including one man who, you may recall, rose to fame after nearly dying when a woman almost caused his heart to explode by breaking up with him. From IGN:

Billy Ray Cyrus and Amber Valletta will appear in the family film about a babysitter who must protect his children from a group of agents when they download a secret code.

Chan has already been cast as the babysitter in question, while Valletta will play the childrens' mother and Achy Breaky singer Cyrus will be one of the agents.

Former sitcom star George Lopez will play a CIA man, while Katherine Boecher rounds out the cast as a Russian underworld operative.

Brian Levant (Snow Dogs, Are We There Yet?) directs from a script by Jim Greer and Jonathan Bernstein, with the film currently shooting in Albuquerque, N.M.

I thought B.R. Cyrus had retired from acting to concentrate entirely on pimping his daughter and denying her a healthy childhood. Why hire him? You only cast Billy Ray Cyrus to act if you're hoping to woo Miley Cyrus for your next movie or if you're a total fool (or if you're David Lynch casting Mulholland Drive, in which case you're crazy, and probably have a mouthful of panties). Have these people not accidentally flipped past Billy Ray's Doc reruns on Ion? He's an awful actor. And, as this clip shows, a questionable doctor:

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Oct 24 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened...

- Jessica Biel will play the lead in Die a Little, a role she reportedly took in place of Wonder Woman. Meanwhile, I will have sex with an older, barely-conscious woman I find at a bar, taking the place of my fantasies of Jessica Biel as Wonder Woman. [Variety]

- Ty Burell has joined the cast of The Incredible Hulk as the green-haired, super-strong Doc Sampson. Burell can currently be seen on Fox's Back to You, which should not be considered an endorsement to watch that for any reason. [IGN]

- Pirates of the Caribbean writers Terry Rossio and Ted Elliot are working on a Lone Ranger script for producer Jerry Bruckheimer, who will mold it into a multi-billion dollar turd. (PS: Entertainment Weekly, you're really stretching with that "Kemo-savvy" headline.) [EW]

- Leslie Mann has joined the cast of 17 as the wife of Zac Efron, a man who awakens to find himself in the body of a 17-year-old boy again. It all sounds a bit ridiculous to me. I mean, Zac Efron with a wife? [Hollywood Reporter]