Nov 10 2009 'Battleship' Movie Will Recreate Board Game's Classic Battle of Boats Versus...

Aliens?

[Director Peter] Berg himself has said that the film is a contemporary story of an international five-ship fleet engaged in a very dynamic, violent and intense battle, BUT he didn't say anything or give any details about the enemy.

THAT WAS TILL NOW.

A source has confirmed with me that the enemies will be ALIENS!

Of course. I always knew man alone didn't possess the microtechnology necessary to construct a ship only two pegs long.

Guess Who Is Trying To Sink Your Battleship [Latino Review]

May 18 2009 More Board Game Movie News

Universal's confusing plan to turn mundane board games into a feature films--so far they've got Ridley Scott directing Monopoly, Michael Bay producing Ouija, and Kevin Lima directing Candy Land--has taken another triumphant, unnecessary step forward today with The Hollywood Reporter claiming Hancock's Peter Berg is in talks to direct:

Peter Berg may be crying out "You sank my battleship!"

The filmmaker is in talks to direct a big-screen version of the Hasbro board game for Universal. Brothers Jon and Erich Hoeber have signed on to write the script.

The game, which began in pencil and paper form in the early 20th century and is now available on platforms from cell phones to computers, consists of two players arranging a variety of ships on a grid. The game proceeds in alternating salvos as players try to "sink" the opposition's ships by guessing where they sit on the grid.

While plot details are being kept below deck, the studio is looking to make an epic naval action adventure.

Thank god they're moving ahead with this. I was just thinking to myself, "You know what's missing from all the naval adventures I've seen? References to a board game." Not once in Hunt for Red October or any episodes I've seen of SeaQuest DSV has a character shouted, "You sunk my battleship!" or, "This isn't a game!" Rectify this, Peter Berg!

Feb 20 2008 Universal, Hasbro Announce Bad Idea Partnership

Universal Pictures and Hasbro have announced a six-year partnership that will produce at least four films based on the following games: Monopoly, Candy Land, Ouija, Battleship, Magic: The Gathering, and Stretch Armstrong. Aside from Ridely Scott's inexplicable involvement in the Monopoly project, very little is known about how the properties would be developed into feature films. So how about I pitch some ideas?

Ouija - A group of gullible teenagers attribute a string of recent murders to a ghost, only to find out it was just their asshole friend doing it. (Note: This should be made in Asia first, then remade here.)

Clue - A wealthy mansion-owner invites a group of similarly affluent guests over to watch Clue.

Battleship - A hotshot naval commander attempts a daring new formation of lining up his fleet in a row along the border. This fails, but the young leader still finds victory after the enemy can't find his f***ing destroyer.

Monopoly - A light-hearted gathering erupts in argument; the film ends abruptly.

Stretch Armstrong - This movie (and toy) should never be made, but will star Jim Carrey and a lot of low-budget CGI.

Candy Land - A band of outcast teenagers find themselves in a colorful, candy-coated world where their movements are dictated by color. It turns out they're just really, really high.

Magic: The Gathering - An exciting battle between a powerful orc shaman and a dwarf paladin suddenly becomes dull when someone realizes it's a card game.

Any other/better ideas? It seems like the Magic movie should work in woeful virginity, but I'm not sure how.

Universal rolls dice with Hasbro [Variety]