Oct 2 2009 'Tooth Fairy' Trailer: Dwayne Johnson Gobbles Up Vin Diesel's Leavings
It's hard to put into words exactly how unfortunately bad Disney's Tooth Fairy looks from this trailer, so I'm just going to try laying out the major plot points, and maybe enough of the awfulness will ooze through to prepare you for what you're about to see.
1. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a hockey player so good at knocking out teeth that he gets to sit in a customized, ice-side recliner during penalties.
2. The new young, hotshot hockey player thinks Rock is old.
3. The Rock informs a young fan that being a professional hockey player is a very high aspiration.
4. It is revealed the Rock does not believe in the tooth fairy.
5. The Rock becomes a tooth fairy.
6. The Rock undergoes a fairy boot camp (allowing opportunities for him being hit in the balls).
7. Miracle Max gives Rock magic things.
8. The Rock decides to forgo the magic things, instead dressing up in hockey pads for some reason.
9. The Rock uses his invisibility spray to haunt the young hotshot player.
10. Somehow all this teaches Rock a lesson
Even Tim Allen wouldn't do this movie, and he's essentially done this movie several times:
Continue Reading " 'Tooth Fairy' Trailer: Dwayne Johnson Gobbles Up Vin Diesel's Leavings "
Jan 30 2009 'Crossing Over' Poster -- Again, Not with Psychic John Edward
I stared at this poster for a full minute trying to figure out why Ray Liotta was listed but not pictured, though Joshua Jackson was pictured but not listed. Eventually I put it together.
'Crossing Over' Poster Premiere [Cinematical]
Nov 13 2008 'Crossing Over' Trailer (Not the 'Crossing Over' with Fake Psychic John Edward)
You can tell the guy who decided to remake this (from his own short) did so after a Traffic/Crash/Babel movie night. He saw how those got some awards, he cranked out this script with a bunch of people intertwined in immigration affairs, and was like, "Now who can I get for this that will really set it apart? Oh, I've got it: Harrison Ford. He's going to be so hot after Indiana Jones 4 is everyone's favorite movie."
Continue Reading " 'Crossing Over' Trailer (Not the 'Crossing Over' with Fake Psychic John Edward) "
Sep 9 2008 'Tooth Fairy' Turns Fictional Sprites into Judge and Jury
The warring of Sound of Music fans, Scorpion King fans, Double Jeopardy fans, and Extras fans will at last be silenced: Julie Andrews, Dwayne Johnson, Ashley Judd, and Stephen Merchant are finally starring alongside one another! Best of all, they'll be sharing the screen in a family comedy that's so high concept it's insane:
The film centers on Derek Thompson (Johnson), a minor-league hockey player whose nickname is the Tooth Fairy because of his ability to knock out opposing players' teeth. Judd plays his girlfriend.When he discourages a youngster's hope, Derek is ordered to one week's hard labor as a real tooth fairy, complete with wings, magic wand and frilly tutu. Along the way, he rediscovers his forgotten dreams.
It was hard enough to buy into What Happens in Vegas...'s concept that Judge Dennis Miller would make a ruling of "six months of hard marriage." Now I'm supposed to believe demoralizing a child may hold the penalty of becoming a tooth fairy for a week? Presupposing the existence of tooth fairies, since when do they hold this kind of jurisdiction? Like we're meant to look to someone clandestinely paying cash for discarded human teeth as a sort of moral compass, capable sentencing us when we don't abide by their ethical code? This fun family movie holds enormous, horrifying consequences.
I'm curious to see how they handle the idea that a muscular man in a tutu "rediscovers his dreams" while sneaking into the bedrooms of sleeping children.
