Oct 7 2009 'Skyscraper' Outtakes: Not Every Anna Nicole Smith Performance Was As Flawless As 'Naked Gun 33⅓'
Believe it or not, Anna Nicole Smith didn't knock every take in her 1996 Die Hard rip-off, Skyscraper, out of the park. Even our greatest actors have their off days, and she's no exception. Which is great for us, because these insane outtakes are the most amazing way we could ever hope to remember America's Princess:
May 9 2008 Main Themes of 'Anna Nicole' Biopic Demonstrated
As far as I know, that ill-conceived, low-budget Anna Nicole Smith biopic I mentioned a few months ago never came out. But I did just find out that, like so many hotly-anticipated cinema events, it's been leaked online! The news gave me a moment of excitement that quickly passed as I realized I would never watch that. There's no way to justify spending watching two hours of Anna Nicole Smith's actual life, let alone a flimsy recreation, no matter how comedically disastrous it might be. But I suppose if someone were to break it down into a seven-and-a-half minute dissection of the main themes (Anna had titties; Anna was curious; Anna thought she looked like Marilyn Monroe; Anna=Anna, Anna genuinely loved that old, rich guy played by George Costanza's boss at the Yankees; Anna really loved pills and booze; Anna really, really loved coffee; Anna was friggin' fat; and Anna returned from the dead to narrate her own biopic), that I might be able to rationalize.
Oh, good. Someone did.
Warning: if you plan to watch the full length version, you may want to avoid this preview, as it could be a spoiler that the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith drives away with her ghost son.
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Mar 6 2008 'Anna Nicole' Trailer Completes Grieving Process
If you've studied the Kübler-Ross model at all (and who hasn't?), you know that tragedy is typically dealt with in a multi-stage process known as the Five Stages of Grief, consisting of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The issue with this model, however, is that while it does well to describe most grieving, it completely omits the rare sixth stage--an exclusive to celebrity deaths: the low-budget biopic. How can we move on unless we've seen a condensed, over-dramatized portrayal of their life, played out by D-list actors on the budget of a compact car?
Since it's been over a year since the untimely death of Anna Nicole Smith, Nasser Entertainment has done us the favor of completing our grieving process with Anna Nicole, the Willa Ford-starring biopic on America's favorite gold-digging nutcase. And an anguished nation can finally move on.
Fulfill your grieving duties with a trailer, below the cut.
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