Nov 18 2009 Dr. Grant, Matrix, et al. Join 'Guardians of Ga'Hoole'
Sam Neill (Merlin, creepy red meat supporter, raptor enthusiast), Geoffrey Rush (Captain Barbossa), Hugo Weaving (elf, evil Matrixer) and David Wenham (Faramir) have signed on to provide voices for Guardians of Ga'Hoole, Zack Snyder's upcoming film that will bring his trademark excessive slow-motion into the world of 3D animation:
The big-budget fantasy film, in production in Sydney and directed by Zack Snyder, also will feature the voices of Aussie actors Emily Barclay, Abbie Cornish, Emilie de Ravin, Ryan Kwanten and Jay Laga'aia, as well as English actors Miriam Margolyes, Helen Mirren and Jim Sturgess.The film follows Soren, a young owl enthralled by his father's epic stories of the Guardians of Ga'Hoole, a mythic band of winged warriors who had fought a great battle to save all of owlkind from the evil Pure Ones.
Good luck at school tomorrow, guys. Those older bullies are going to have a field day calling you "Guardians of Gay Holes."
Nov 6 2009 New 'Despicable Me' Trailer: Supervillains Wear Scarves
How long have we waited for a film villain to combine equal parts Tiny Tim and Nosferatu?
TOO LONG. Don't wait any longer. He is risen:
Continue Reading " New 'Despicable Me' Trailer: Supervillains Wear Scarves "
Nov 5 2009 Zach Galifianakis Donating Voice to Shrek Thing
Joining a vocal cast that already includes most key members of the The Mask of Zorro Desperado (whups!), the always enjoyable Zach Galifanakis is negotiating to provide the voice of Humpty Dumpty in the Shrek spin-off Puss in Boots. The animated picture, as its title implies, follows Antonio Banderas's swashbuckling cat character and the events that led to his being in Shrek 2. Salma Hayak is also signed on, and presumably plays some kind of girl cat that also has a thick accent.
When will society finally evolve to the point of no longer typecasting fat people to voice fat animated characters? Not yet. Not yet.
Nov 2 2009 'How To Train Your Dragon' Trailer: 'ET'/'Iron Giant'/etc. Gets Reptilian
You know the story. Boy finds freak; boy befriends freak; men in power see freak as threat and try to capture/kill freak friend; you sit through the credits hoping the darkness will hide your tears. And this time our freak is: the dragon. Because aliens and giant robots filling the role still were never quite nerdy enough.
Continue Reading " 'How To Train Your Dragon' Trailer: 'ET'/'Iron Giant'/etc. Gets Reptilian "
Oct 28 2009 'How To Train Your Dragon' Poster: Classic White Void Comedy
His iron helmet caught on fire. That makes sense.
Oct 26 2009 Coming Soon: Something with Animated Peacocks!
Yes, something about computer-animated peacocks! Warner Bros. is keeping quiet with plot details of the Austin Winsberg and Heath Corson script, but this much and literally nothing else is known: peacocks.
As more details become available (when in the trailer a peacock will be startled, pause for a beat, then suddenly, comically erupt its rear plumage; which peacock sounds like Ben Stiller), I'll be sure to let you know.
Oct 12 2009 'Toy Story 3' Trailer: Time For Toys to Escape From Somewhere Again!
Ut oh, toys! Andy has reached the age of 18, which, as we all know, is the age when a young man finally stops playing with wooden cowboys, packs up for college, and starts listening to somber Randy Newman songs to indicate the gravity of the situation. Andy's mom, like my dad, is eager to get that recently-vacated room turned into a den, and decides to donate the Woody, Buzz, Female Woody, Dinosaur Toy, and the rest of the gang to a daycare center. Now, since Woody hates acts of charity, it's time to escape!
Here's the trailer that explains that plot:
Continue Reading " 'Toy Story 3' Trailer: Time For Toys to Escape From Somewhere Again! "
Oct 9 2009 'Toy Story 3' Teaser Poster: Dinosaur Eats Three
I pretty sure what they're implying here is that, in Toy Story 3, the dinosaur toy will eat some sort of "3 capsule," which will result in him splitting into three versions of himself, each personifying only one part of his Freudian psyche--one dinosaur of pure id, one of pure ego, and one that's entirely superego--and each at a third of the original's size.
I suppose it's also possible the toy dinosaur eating a "3" is just kind of a cute, innocent way to present the concept there being a Toy Story 3, but I'm still pretty certain my first theory is sound.
Toy Story 3 Exclusive Banner Premiere and Teaser Trailer [MySpace]
Oct 6 2009 First Five Minutes of 'Princess and the Frog': It's No 'Circle of Life'
Remember how, in The Lion King, Disney kicked open your skull doors and gave your brain a charliehorse right from the start with "Circle of Life"? Such powerful music! So much reverent African wildlife!
Well, the opening to Disney's The Princess and the Frog is nothing like that:
Continue Reading " First Five Minutes of 'Princess and the Frog': It's No 'Circle of Life' "
Sep 30 2009 New 'Fantastic Mr. Fox' Trailer: The Cuss You Won't Watch This
New trailer for Wes Anderson's The Fantastic Mr. Fox, people. Let it wiggle into that fox-in-a-corduroy-blazer-shaped hole in your heart and fill it with stop-motion love:
Continue Reading " New 'Fantastic Mr. Fox' Trailer: The Cuss You Won't Watch This "
Sep 25 2009 'Planet 51' Poster: Aliens WOULD Have a Slightly Different Font on Their Slightly Misshapen Newspapers
To have such a implicitly John Goodman alien character not voiced by John Goodman is criminal. Criminal!
'Planet 51' Poster [IMPA]
Sep 18 2009 'Fantastic Mr. Fox' Character Banners: Who Knows What Wes Anderson is Being Really Specific About
I was just thinking how charming these new character banners for Wes Anderson's The Fantastic Mr. Fox, but then I remembered how particular and eccentric Anderson can be about details, and realized there's a pretty decent chance this Coach Skip model was fashioned from albino scalp.
Still, I think the movie should be pretty good, so long as I'm able to get in past all the albino rights group protesters.
Sep 17 2009 Ever Want To See 'Superbad' as a Cartoon?
That's now an attainable goal in your life. Well done, YouTube user stevefalz--though, as usual, I'm not entirely sure why done.
Below the cut, the "Afternoon Delight" sequence from Anchorman, now animated.
Continue Reading " Ever Want To See 'Superbad' as a Cartoon? "
Sep 15 2009 'A Christmas Carol' Poster: This Christmas, See This Happen
When your kids beg you to see "the movie with the gaunt, hideous old man straddling a novelty-sized candle snuffer that is flying"--because that's what kids like seeing, and they know how to recognize a giant candle snuffer when they see one--now you'll know what they're talking about.
Bigger version at Cinematical. You can really see the detail the animators put into filling Scrooge's mouth with fillings. This is the start of a revolution in CG dental restorative material.
Sep 14 2009 'Disney's A Christmas Carol' Trailer: Back to the Uncanny Valley
Proving that nearly-realistic, Christmas-themed computer animation can be made slightly creepier than Polar Express when the subject is a deformed old man, here's the new trailer for Robert Zemeckis's adaptation of the well-worn tale of Ebenezer Scrooge.
If you loved the floating feather dancing in the air in Forrest Gump, you'll love the floating snowflake dancing in the air in this trailer. What is Bobby Z's obsession with following delicate, white objects drifting gently to the ground?
Continue Reading " 'Disney's A Christmas Carol' Trailer: Back to the Uncanny Valley "
Sep 9 2009 'Princess and the Frog' Mostly About Bestiality and Asses
Looking for a new family film that will teach your child about bestiality and ass jokes? Then this is your guy: The Princess and the Frog.
Judging by this full trailer for the film, it appears Disney's return to cel animation has created some new characters that will stay with you and your children for a lifetime. Most likely in the form of an unusual sexual fetish.
Continue Reading " 'Princess and the Frog' Mostly About Bestiality and Asses "
Sep 8 2009 'Fantastic Mr. Fox' Poster: Hopefully Children Are Aware of the Popular Phrase "Trip the Light Fantastic"
As much as I'm looking forward to this film, I really wish the poster would address the elephant in the room: "Don't worry, this isn't one of those 'furry' things with people dressed up like foxes getting horny on each other." I know it isn't, but I worry that, if it isn't stated outright, people are still going to show up dressed up like foxes and get horny on each other.
'Fantastic Mr. Fox' Poster [IMPA]
Sep 1 2009 Here's a 3-D Smurf
From PVCBlue.com, some sort of devoted Smurf site, here's the first look at a CGI Smurf from the upcoming film adaptation of the three-apple-high species. Looks like Columbia is really trying to hit that small group that both loves The Smurfs and Scarface references. Get them and the rest will follow. As they say.
(via ComingSoon)
Aug 25 2009 'Astro Boy' Poster: Science Can Build a Robot Boy, But It Can't Force Him To Care
Cinematical has debuted the final Astro Boy poster, depicting the scene in which Astro Boy leaves his friends to either be smashed by a massive robot or burned alive in an explosion of intense white energy as he sets off on his quest to find cooler, robot friends. I hope that isn't a spoiler.
Aug 20 2009 'Yellow Submarine' Resurfacing to Become a Lurid 'Beowulf'
With Beatles music and likenesses coming to RockBands everywhere next month, allowing me and other talentless idiots to scream into a microphone and pretend we're playing some of the most popular and enduring songs ever written, whoever it is that now has control of the band's rights have decided they might as well dilute the Beatles brand a bit further. Disney and Robert Zemeckis are working out a deal that would allow the motion-capture-loving director to direct a remake of the psychedelic animated classic Yellow Submarine. From Variety:
The studio has been quietly brokering a complicated rights deal that would give Zemeckis access to 16 original Beatles songs for a movie he will direct in the performance-capture 3-D digital production format he employed for “A Christmas Carol.” Disney opens that film November 6, with Jim Carrey playing Scrooge as well as the three ghosts who haunt him in the Charles Dickens tale.The hope is to have "Yellow Submarine" ready to premiere around the 2012 Summer Olympics, which begins July 27 in London.
I can't wait to see how Zemeckis will take these already creepy character designs and make them even more creepy by adding another dimension, lifeless eyes and spotty skin textures.
But I guess this is a good way to show kids in today's drug culture what the previous generation's drug culture was like. It hasn't always been glowsticks, kids: there was a time when the colors themselves were ridiculously bright!
