Aug 5 2009 'Zombieland' Trailer: Zombie Brains, Zombie Boobs, Timid Whining
Put the kids to bed: there's a new, R-rated trailer for the undead brain-eater comedy Zombieland, and it fully earns its R-rating. Graphic content includes: lots of zombie carnage, bouncing zombie boobs in pasties, F words, and, most brutal, Jesse Eisenberg so far into Michael Cera's rival territory that he's surely by now a POW, captured and caged within his own slumped shoulders. Every time he speaks, you can't help but hear a phantom Arrested Development ukulele strumming faintly in the distance.
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Jun 19 2009 'Zombieland' Trailer, Says Sir Ian
It's Natural Born Killers, with zombies, only not at all! More accurately, it's the Zombieland trailer, starring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Abigail Breslin, and Emma Stone as zombie survivalists, and Mike White as a guy on a toilet.
Sir Ian McKellen delivers Stephen-Fry-in-Hitchhiker's-Guide-style narration over the whole thing, and it's a joy to hear Gandalf say the word "zombie." A real sandwich for your ears:
Dec 26 2007 'Nim's Island' Poster Accurately Portrays Film's Psychoses
It appears Abigail Breslin has grown to the size of a building in order to avoid the dangers of sharks and cartoon pirates. Gerard Butler remains a homeless Indiana Jones while Jodie Foster seems to be halfway through a transformation into Reese Witherspoon, and she's holding a shoe? In the background, a volcano spews an eruption of dreams.
Thankfully, last week's trailer explained all of this apparent madness: everyone in this film is at varying degrees of crazy.
Nim's Island One-Sheet [IESB]
Dec 19 2007 'Nim's Island' Trailer is Chock-Full of Psychoses
A summary of the new Jodie Foster/Abigail Breslin/Gerard Butler family adventure, Nim's Island, as provided by Yahoo:
Anything can happen on Nim's Island, a magical place ruled by a young girl's imagination. It is an existence that mirrors that of her favorite literary character, Alex Rover - the world's greatest adventurer. But Alexandra, the author of the Rover books, leads a reclusive life in the big city. When Nim's father goes missing from their island, a twist of fate brings her together with Alexandra. Now they must draw courage from their fictional hero, Alex Rover, and find strength in one another to conquer Nim's Island.
Things omitted from this relatively banal description of Nim's Island:
- When it says Nim's Island is "a magical place ruled by a young girl's imagination," they don't mean figuratively. It appears that Nim is a god-like character whose will becomes reality. Either that, or she suffers from paranoid hallucinations, which would actually be an apt parallel, since...
- Jodie Foster's character clearly suffers from intense schizophrenia, social anxiety disorder, mysophobia, and possibly epilepsy. The film seems to use both her vivid hallucinations and uncontrollable seizures as comedic quirks. (Hah! She's talking to her visual realization of a fictional character while in the presence of others! Haha! Now she's convulsing too much to comfortably leave her home!)
I could go on--maybe touching on the (possibly delusional) presence of pirates and Arabian warriors, and the topical airport security jokes--but I think the overabundance of mental disorders is already enough to change this from a passable family fantasy to a mandatory Psych 101 field trip.
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Nov 26 2007 'Kit Kittredge' Trailer Appeals to My Inner-Child Reporter
I'm pretty sure this is only of interest to 10-year-old girls, pedophiles, or anyone who likes to watch Joan Cusack yelling, but I thought it was necessary to post the trailer to Kit Kittredge: An American Girl. Think of it as a counterweight to all the male-targeted toy-turned-movies (Transformers, G.I. Joe), like how McDonald's would always offer Barbie toys along with the Hot Wheels (because girls hate vehicles, boys hate women). With this and my extensive Bratz coverage, I have completed my penance.
Kit Kittredge Trailer [American Girl Movie Headquarters]
Nov 14 2007 'Definitely, Maybe' Trailer Definitely Isn't Interesting
Having Ryan Reynolds regale me with tales of his sexual conquests, but toned down for an audience consisting of Abigail Breslin and romantic-comedy fanatics, has never been high on my list of experiences to have before death. But at least now I know that seeing a two-minute preview for such an experience, complete with a comedic record screech, won't change that opinion.
Incidentally, what kind of sick f*** answers his daughter's question of how he met her mom with an hour-long story about the various women he's courted, never revealing who the mother is? If she asks where babies come from, maybe he can give her several detailed stories of the lurid ways he's had sex with women, and she can guess which makes a baby.
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Nov 14 2007 AM Poster Post: 'Kit Kittredge: An American Girl' (and Reporter)
I love these things like American Girl and Nancy Drew where the appeal is that they're pretty young girls, but also hold serious adult jobs. The only thing is, I think they're really limiting themselves with so many ten-year-old ace detectives and star reporters. Why not Kit Kittredge: Steel Worker? Kit Kittredge: Political Assassin? Kit Kittredge: World War I Doughboy? Or, if they're really trying to sell it to a young girl audience, why not just make up careers that cater to them? Kit Kittredge: Professional Pony Collector. Or Kit Kittredge: Cures Cancer with Rainbows. Any of these would be better than another reporter.
Nov 9 2007 First Look at 'Nim's Island', Gerard Butler's Halloween Costume
It's over a week late, but we finally got some exclusive shots of Gerard Butler's inspired, if not convoluted, Halloween costume! This year the 300 star went as a hobo dressed as Indiana Jones protecting his wallet from a tanning bed. And I have to say, he effing nailed it.
Confusingly, USA Today has run the same picture as a promotional photo for Nim's Island, in which Butler plays both marine biologist father and imaginary adventuring hero to young Abigail Breslin. After the father goes missing, Nim (Breslin) starts emailing the adventurer, who is actually a reclusive author played by Jodie Foster, for help in finding him. Add a pegasus and this movie has everything a little girl could want.
First look: All is idyllic on 'Nim's Island' [USA Today]
