Oct 12 2009 Bryan Singer Wouldn't Mind Doing Those 'X-Men' Movies Some More
That last X-Men movie: that was a real stinker, eh? That was the kind of shitcake X-Man that makes you really appreciate the X-Men movies you used to have in the old days (between 2000 and 2003). Doesn't it?
Bryan Singer must realize that too--that his two pretty-decent X-Men films are looking a lot better in this post-The Last Stand era. Good enough, he's hoping, that we might be able to overlook how flat-out unmemorable Superman Returns was if he were to make another pretty-decent X-Man:
"I'm still looking to possibly returning to the 'X-Men' franchise. I've been talking to Fox about it," Singer said at a talk at the Pusan International Film Festival."I love Hugh Jackman. [ed. note: Who???] I love the cast," he said, referring to the Australian actor who plays Wolverine [ed. note: Oh, him].
Singer said he enjoyed making science fiction and fantasy movies because they allowed him to discuss serious issues through entertainment.
He said he likes to "trick audiences into thinking they're seeing fireworks, but they're learning about themselves and listening to what I have to say."
You may have tricked me into thinking I was seeing fireworks, Singer, but I've got news for you: I didn't listen to anything you said, and I've learned nothing about myself. So who's ahead now? You tell me. I'm not listening.
Jul 20 2007 Gavin Hood to Direct Wolverine
Gavin had mixed feelings; he'd never before won an award and passed a kidney stone on the same day.
Gavin Hood has been announced as the director of Wolverine, the X-Men spinoff starring Hugh Jackman. Hood is a dirty South African best known for writing and directing Tsotsi. I haven't seen Tsotsi, so I can't really speak to his competence as a director, but I do know that Afrikaans sounds really silly.
X-Men 3 director Brett Ratner was originally attached to the project, but split with producers after insisting Wolverine be played by Chris Tucker. I also saw him kick a pigeon once. True story.
Apr 27 2007 Meet the Magneto Movie
If you call me "Fagneto" one more time I'm going to cut you.
Marvel and Fox are planning a Magneto movie with David Goyer on to direct.
Let's hope the new plan is to spin-off characters, rather than making more X-Men movies. Because after the last one, I can only imagine they'd be focusing on the lesser-known mutants, like guy with power to change into a steak knife but not change back man, girl with really callousy hands, and of course Billy six thumbs.
But luckily:
In a storyline hinted at by the original "X-Men" films, Magneto comes to grips with his mutant ability to manipulate metal objects as he and his parents try to survive in Auschwitz. Magneto meets Professor Xavier (played as the wheelchair-bound mutant leader by Patrick Stewart) when the latter is a soldier liberating the concentration camp.
Dude, Nazis and mutants in the same movie? Count me in.
Apr 18 2007 Kinsberg to Give Hardy Men Raging Clue
Simon Kinberg, the dude who wrote Mr. & Mrs. Smith, xXx 2 (nominated for the 2005 Teen Choice award for "Choice Rap Artist in a Movie"), and the third X-Men movie, has been hired to do a complete overhaul of the Hardy Men script, which will star Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller as the grown up Hardy boys.
I, for one, think this is a fantastic idea. In fact, I was just watching my xXx 2 Criterion Collection DVD the other day (as I'm wont to do), and I was thinking to myself, you know what the best part of this movie is? The writing. The dialogue is just top shelf, and the plot has more twists than an Anaconda! Which makes sense, because Ice Cube was in both Anaconda and xXx 2. X3 was also great. All through the first two movies I was thinking, "Enough of this Wolverine shit, I want to see the guy who lives in the woods and throws sticks."
Tom Cruise playing a Hardy Boy? There's a an easy gay joke here, but you know what? I've got too much class. And money. And rippling muscles.
Call me ladies.
Apr 4 2007 Metal Men Coming to Screens
Warner Bros. and X-Men producer Lauren Schuler Donner have plans to bring Metal Men, yet another superhero franchise, to the screen. Robots invented by Dr. William Magnus, the Metal Men each possess the characteristics and interpreted personalities of separate metals, such as stretchy leader Gold, strongman Iron, insecure Tin, and infant brain damaging Lead.
You'd think they'd at least work through some of the C-level comic heroes--Blue Beetle or someone at least--before getting to the D-List like these guys, but I'm fine with it as long as Shaq is involved. When you need a big metal superhero, a big stupid genie, or just an idiotic signature grin, Shaq is always the answer.
Oct 16 2006 "Wolverine" Script Written and Waiting
In recent years Hollywood has become a mid-90s webpage, with every project perpetually "under construction," quite often never actually reaching the big screen. Thus, it comes with much surprise that the Wolverine X-men spinoff, rumored to be in development for some time, actually has a script and should be shooting by this time next year. Says Wolverine re-enactor Hugh Jackman:
We've now signed off on the script. If you know about the history of 'X-Men' movies, that's a revolution for us. We're a year away from shooting the film and we have the script. And, by the way, it is unbelievable. It's a David Benioff script. He's probably the hottest writer going around town, and he was beating down our door to write this movie. It was the most amazing thing. So, we have this fantastic script. I've got a couple of movies coming out in the next month, and I might be able to tell you who the director is by then. We're seriously into talking about it now.
So you can stop the brilliant script you've been working on when World of Warcraft has server downtime. The one you had no real idea how to submit but were confident would be somehow get made, particularly once they saw the shots of your Halloween costume from the last four years: a slightly overweight Wolverine. I'm afraid that what you've written--yes, even the awesome part where Wolverine fights Terminator to save a talking dragon--will never be made. This doesn't mean Wolverine cutting off girls' bras in a sorority house wasn't a good idea; they just have a different direction they're going. Maybe they'll even end up using your line, "Three claws--you're out!" It's still too early to tell.
Jun 16 2006 Making Professor X and Magneto Young
X-Men 3 used some pretty amazing digital trickery to portray Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart as younger versions of themselves. Now you can see side-by-side comparisons of just how drastic the transformations were, turning Stewart into a smooth plastic doll, and McKellen into Timothy Dalton's gayer brother. Someone should tell Cher* about this. She could have saved herself a few replacement faces. Because she's had so much plastic surgery!
*Alternatively, Joan Rivers.
See youthful Magneto under the cut.
May 30 2006 Final Superman Returns Trailer
The final Superman Returns trailer is here to enjoy in the over-compressed glory of YouTube. It's been playing before some showings of X-Men 3, so you most likely saw it this weekend, when every person on earth saw that movie. This trailer focuses more on the diabolical plans of the villainous Lex Luthor, though they still manage to squeeze in the bullshit with the bullet hitting him in the eye. Sure, it's impressive to flatten a bullet with your cornea, but can he bend the tongs of a fork as it stabs him in the testicles? Probably, but we're only going to know for sure if they show us.
May 30 2006 X-Men 3 Makes Most Money Ever
Despite all the nay-saying and skepticism from many fans and critics, X-Men: The Last Stand showed this holiday weekend that Americans will pay anything to see Kelsey Grammer covered in hair, with the film bringing in $120.1 million, the largest holiday opening ever. The huge number showed that audiences are still willing to go to theaters, a notion supported by other relatively large openings like An Inconvenient Truth. Despite opening on only four screens in New York and LA, the global warming documentary was able to bring in an estimated $365,787, providing a healthy nest to fuel the "X3 Bonfire" following the premier.
May 16 2006 Patrick Stewart Worries For X-Men Fans
Avoid reading this if you care about plot details to X-Men 3, because this is what the kids are calling a "spoiler." Maybe I'm just out of the loop, but apparently it's being said that Professor Xavier, the bald leader of the X-Men, will die in the third film:
PATRICK STEWART fears fans will be scarred by the end of the final X-MEN movie because his character suffers a demise that even disturbed him. PROFESSOR CHARLES XAVIER meets a grisly end at the end of X-MEN: THE LAST STAND and Stewart is concerned about the effect it might have on devotees of the comic book series.
I couldn't agree more with Stewart's concern about fan reaction to Xaver's death. I'm sure we all remember the great Spock Hunger Strike of 1982, following the death of the beloved character in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, when fans rallied together and starved themselves for upwards of four days, consuming only the occasional Mountain Dew. Or the great Obi-Wan Shower Strike of '77, which many fans still cling to by showering only after extended Dance Dance Revolution sessions. If there's one thing fanatical audiences won't tolerate, it's the untimely death of a character. That, and any form of physical exertion.
May 4 2006 X-Men 3 Danger Room Interior
It's been a while since there's been any interesting new shots from X-Men: The Last Stand, but I thought this one showing the mechanics of the danger room offered up something new. Mostly because I didn't realize the danger room could replicate the backdrop to my 4th grade school picture.
May 1 2006 Sentinels Revealed in X-Men 3
It's been long rumored that X-Men: The Last Stand would finally include the famous X-men villain, the giant, mutant-hunting robot Sentinels. Now, after months of anticipation, a clip shown by Hugh Jackman on the Tonight Show finally has our answer: yes, X-men 3 does have awful dialogue and effects.
Apr 12 2006 X-Men: The Last Stand Features Beast Hanging
Worried that X-Men 3 will be flat? Dull? Not so, says this picture. These are multi-layered characters, with interesting idiosyncrasies, it cries. Beast doesn't just sit like a person to read--he hangs upside-down! This movie is practically a Garden State, these characters are so quirky!
What's strangest to me about this picture is how showing it to people didn't freak them out, but God forbid if they walk in on me hanging upside-down, they sure freak the hell out. Haven't you heard how hanging like that can extend your life? Is it so weird? Was it just because I was naked and smelling that baggy of pubic hair I bought on a street in Calcutta? I can stop that part.
Apr 11 2006 Xmen: The Last Stand's Multiple Man Revealed
The newest picture from X-Men: The Last Stand gives us the first look at the mutant Multiple Man, who, as the picture implies, is able to replicate himself. Nothing too shocking has been done with the look of the character, but I have a feeling fans will be surprised by the content of this pivotal scene:
Multiple Man: Hey, Mystique! I'm gonna need this many guys to get up on that big ol' ass of yours!
Magneto: Shit!
End of film.
Apr 6 2006 X-Men: The Last Stand Television Spots
The handsome Latinos at Latino Review have scored the three new television spots for X-Men 3, for those who forgot to tape American Idol, House M.D. and ESPN (in general). After watching all three, I've created what I believe will be the definitive plot summary of the third film:
Magneto goes to the woods.
A bridge falls.
Angel shows off how he has wings.
The X-Men stand in a row.
Juggernaut runs through a wall.
Some mutants make out.
Something explodes while Wolverine smokes.
I'm wondering how many times they're going to show that shot of Wolverine smoking with the explosion behind him. Probably until I stop reacting with, "Motherf***er! Did everyone see that sweet explosion? That shit was blowing up! And Wolverine was still all cool-like, just chillin' with a cigar! He knows what's up. That shit is tiiiiiiight." Then I make sound effects of explosions and his claws coming out for the rest of the night.
Mar 22 2006 X-Men: The Last Stand Images Still Goofy
A couple more X-Men 3 pictures have turned up, providing a fuller documentation of the destruction of the franchise. The images prove that Beast still looks like My Pet Monster and that no matter how well Magneto may control magnetism, old guys still don't know how to load a dishwasher. It's true--they don't!
See Beast stand awkwardly after the jump.
Continue Reading " X-Men: The Last Stand Images Still Goofy "
Mar 7 2006 X-Men: The Last Stand Trailer
Fox has finally released the trailer for the third chapter of X-Men, and I have to admit that there are definitely some cool looking parts. Angel takes flight, Magneto leads an army of evil mutants, some things explode; it's all looking much better than I anticipated. That said, I'm still completely skeptical of the quality of this movie. It's easy to show the good parts if you only have to fill a couple minutes. I've got the feeling that, like the husband in a Lifetime movie, this film will eventually show its true colors. Sure, Dean Cain seemed friendly when he was picking up the kids from school, and there's no denying he's handsome, but why does Tracey Gold suddenly have so many bruises on her arms? I know he seemed like the perfect husband in the first hour (save for the times a dramatic chord was played when he got aggravated), but he's got another side to him! Goddammit, Tracey, get the hell out now, while you still have time. There's a reason he never talks about his ex-wife, whom we saw in only a brief flashback: she's dead! I don't remember what I was originally talking about now, so I'll just return to watching Golden Girls.
Feb 27 2006 New Juggernaut Photo
First I thought the X-Men: The Last Stand makeup and costumes looked a little questionable. Now, I just kind of feel bad. It looks like someone's mom made this, then wanted a quick picture in the living room before he goes out trick-or-treating. I hope you get some king sizes, bud.
Feb 16 2006 Last Stand is Last X-Men?
Fans hoping for another X-Men movie to follow Brett Ratner's The Last Stand will be disappointed by the director's words in a recent interview, where he claims the series has become a trilogy:
Well, it seems to be the last of the series. We wanted to make sure the audiences knew that this was a trilogy. Even though they weren't made together like 'Lord of the Rings,' this is really closure for the X-Men series. ... This is the last stand for sure.
It sounds to me like Ratner's just being cocky. He doesn't really know it will be the last, he just thinks it should be since he feels he finished it off so well. I always think the same thing when I've "finished" with a girl, but that's never the case. She'll invariably tell me, "Finished what? We didn't have sex," and I'll smile back, hoping she'll at least describe what it's like.
I think the article also includes some new pictures in a slideshow, but who can tell anymore?
Feb 10 2006 New X-Men Posters
X-Men: The Last Stand has some new bus shelter posters with super-glam, perfume-ad-style shots of six of the characters. There's Angel, Dark Phoenix, Wolverine, Rogue, A seductive Halle Berry as Storm, and, of course, a blue Rocky Horror-era Meatloaf. These are good enough that they almost make me want to visit a bus shelter to see them in person. If that didn't run the risk of seeing a poor person.
See them all after the jump.
