Mar 24 2009 Modern Warfare Just Got Both Cuter and More Horrific

I've seen most modern war films that have been considered graphic or controversial in their portrayals of violence. I've played one of those Call of Duty realistic combat simulation video games. But I have never found war as disturbing and morally questionable as I did watching this trailer for the anime Cat Shit One (perhaps you read the manga under its American title, Apocalypse Meow). It is truly unsettling. You haven't fully understood the horrors of Middle Eastern warfare until you've seen them through the eyes of a rabbit on its hind legs fighting an anthropomorphic camel:

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Feb 20 2009 'Inglourious Basterds' Shop at Halloween USA

Not only did they bring the Deluxe Bleeding 'Scream' Knife, they brought the Standard 'Scream' Mask and one of those fake rubber hands, and they are going to scare the living shit out of you Nazis.

Two more posters at Empire.

Feb 19 2009 'G.I. Joe' Action Figure Revelations

Wizard has posted photos of the G.I. Joe action figure line-up, all of which come with a giant sexual torture accessory. Some thoughts:

• This is our first look at The Mummy as Zartan, the Master of Disguise, right? Weird that his "disguise" is "guy who bought one of those idiotic hats at H&M."
• Wait, Shipwreck is in this thing? And he still has the bird?!
• Channing Tatum somehow looks like even more of a turd when made of plastic.

Did I miss anything?

Feb 11 2009 'Inglourious Basterds' Teaser Will Beat You with Baseball Bat, Carve Swastika into Your Head

If it were like the '40s and I was enlisting as a Nazi, I would hope, before signing the final paper, someone would show me this video just to get me the fair warning: "Look, being a Nazi, yes, you get the glory of fighting for our führer, and of course there are all the beautiful Aryan girls, but there's also Brad Pitt and these eight other dudes that want to mercilessly torture and kill us, and with Pitt asking for 100 scalps a piece, that's at least 800 of you who are going to be praying for death as Eli Roth beats you with a Louisville Slugger. Just so you know."

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Feb 10 2009 Brad Pitt Wants Nazi Scalps So Bad

Entertainment Tonight spoiler alert: the screaming gossip show will be debuting the teaser trailer for Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, and in their usual fashion, last night ET showed a brief preview for the preview. If the full movie is like a birthday cake, and the trailer is like getting a taste of the frosting, this preview preview is like thinking you see someone carrying a cake-shaped thing to their car, but before you can check it out someone starts shouting at you about Angelina Jolie possibly being pregnant again. Something like that.

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Dec 12 2008 A Couple Photos from 'Inglourious Basterds'

From Tarantino.info (thanks to Pat), here are a couple new shots from Inglourious Basterds. In this first photo, the puckered skin around Brad Pitt's neck is supposedly a scar from a lynching, not the first sign that the actor is developing a waddle. And here are some Nazis getting way too excited about playing Indian poker:

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Nov 14 2008 'Red Cliff 2' Trailer: Asia Had Second Halves of Wars Too

Thanks to Todd from Twitch Film, here's the trailer to the second chapter of John Woo's massive war epic, Red Cliff II. It looks like someone made a film composed entirely of the battle scenes from The Mummy 3, except they replaced the combatants with living people instead of The Mummies, which sounds like a poor trade at first until you remember there also won't be Brendan Fraser's fake hair.

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Nov 10 2008 Morricone Scoring 'Inglourious Basterds'?

According to Italy Global Nation (apparently some sort of news site, not a post-apocalyptic European superpower), Legendary film composer Ennio Morricone may be scoring Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds. From CHUD:

[Italy Global Nation] reports that the legendary Morricone has accepted an offer to score Inglorious Basterds.

Quentin Tarantino and Ennio Morricone have had a long, indirect relationship. Morricone once famously turned down a request to score small parts of Pulp Fiction, and then rather than using new music from the composer for Kill Bill, Tarantino and the RZA recycled some of the his older work.

Morricone turns 80 today and has been accepting less work in recent years. Now the question is: how much Morricone material will actually grace the film? Could be only a couple of minutes, or Tarantino could try to extract what might be one of the composer's last notable full scores.

UPDATED: The QT Archives have pulled their story, but the source at IGN still stands -- is this not as done a deal as we'd like?

I hope this ends up being true. Like the whimpers of stifled sobbing that accompany my daily routine, the music of Ennio Morricone and Quentin Tarantino movies just make sense together.

Oct 17 2008 Brad Pitt in 'Inglourious Basterds', Looking Brad Pitty, Ethereal

While we're on the subject of Brad Pitt, here he is on the set of Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds [sic!]. Hard to tell much from the shot, but with that white screen behind him, they've at least got a great start on a movie poster:

(High resolution of the original at Cinematical)

Oct 10 2008 'Defiance' Trailer Defies You To Watch It! Or Whatever

Here's the new trailer for Defiance, where a Frankenstein-like James Bond, Liev Schreiber, and Billy Elliott save a group of Eastern European Jews by recreating the Battle of Endor:

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Aug 15 2008 Mike Myers Will Do Accent for 'Bastards'

Look, I know you promised yourself you'd never again see another Mike Myers movie after he pretended to be Indian and sang a Steve Miller Band cover for no apparent reason, but I'm afraid you might have to if you want to see Tarantino's latest. Yeah, the Love Guru is in that now:

Mike Myers has been recruited by Quentin Tarantino to join the ensemble cast of "Inglorious Bastards," the Tarantino-scripted pic that the Weinstein Co. and Universal will put into production Oct. 13 in Germany.

Myers will play British Gen. Ed Fenech, a military mastermind who takes part in hatching a plot to wipe out Nazi leaders.

Mike Myers playing a British officer? It seems like that could be really distracting if he were already known and moderately despised for playing a character with a heavy English accent that inspired a generation of amateur impressionists. But since that isn't the case, this seems fine. Actually, this answers a few questions I had when I was reading the script. All the scenes where Gen. Ed Fenech throws Mini-Gen. Ed Fenech make a lot more sense now.

Mike Myers enlists in 'Bastards' [Variety]

Aug 8 2008 'Inglorious Bastards' Adds More Human Actors to Cast

More unexpected but good casting news from Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards: Simon Pegg is joining the cast! And a German! And Brad Pitt is now a lock! From Variety:

Brad Pitt has closed his deal to star in "Inglorious Bastards," the WWII drama that Quentin Tarantino will direct for the Weinstein Co. and Universal.

Additionally, Nastassja Kinski is in early talks to play one of the sole female roles in the film. Casting the German-born actress jibes with Tarantino's habit of resuscitating dormant careers. Kinski, who has stayed away from mainstream American films for nearly a decade, would play a German movie queen.

Simon Pegg, David Krumholtz and B.J. Novak are also in talks to join the project. Pegg would play a British lieutenant, while Krumholtz and Novak would play Pitt's underlings.

Tarantino, Brad Pitt, Simon Pegg, and Ryan from The Office all collaborating on one movie? It's like a movie sandwich composed of things I usually like, and will probably make a good sandwich. Except the Eli Roth portion of the meal. He's like the "special sauce" that I've only had a slight taste of but suspect will be horrible in large quantities. Yeah, it might be OK, but given the option I would have left it off.

Aug 6 2008 QT Casting Eli Roth and Britney Spears in Things

Variety is reporting that Quentin Tarantino's pal Eli Roth is up for the role of a "baseball bat-swinging Nazi hunter" in Inglorious Bastards, and, in more what the eff territory, always-trustworthy "sources" are saying Britney Spears is in talks to play a lesbian stripper in QT's remake of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! From the more interesting story:

Spears' character murders the boyfriend with her bare hands before taking the girlfriend hostage. The troubled singer will also have sex scenes with another girl before the drama ends in a blood-bath. Tarantino is in discussions with other Hollywood stars to take the roles of the remaining two strippers. A source said: "Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She's delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around.

Back in the Pulp Fiction days, Tarantino became sort of known for his ability to revive a dying career when he cast John Travolta in a lead role, but this is a whole new level of joke career he's dealing with. In 1994, Travolta was surprising because he'd been doing almost nothing but TV movies and Look Who's Talkings for years prior. Seeing him as Vincent Vega, it was believable because he'd been such a non-presence for so long that you could forget it was John Travolta. Casting Britney Spears doesn't work that way. It's like casting current John Travolta, aggravatingly prominent in the public eye because he's a nutcase. No matter what role she takes, there's no way to forget or forgive you're looking at Britney Spears. Maybe I'll be proved wrong, but the best case scenario I can see is leaving the theater thinking, "Wow, she really took me back to the time when it would have been shocking and/or desirable to see her as a stripping lesbian."

Jul 16 2008 Leonardo DiCaprio Might Be 'Inglorious Bastard'

Last week, rumor was that Brad Pitt would be taking a lead role in Quentin Tarantino's latest, Inglorious Bastards. Now, another A-list name can be added to the hypothetical list you're keeping: Growing Pains star Leonardo DiCaprio! From Variety:

After the director met Brad Pitt in France on Tuesday, those studios are already salivating over the expectation that Tarantino will land Pitt to play the key role of Aldo Raine. They'll be even keener if Tarantino's plan to meet Leonardo DiCaprio for another lead role goes well Thursday. Tarantino wants DiCaprio to play the role of Hans Landa.

I can't decide if this is really strong casting or casting entirely from a 1996 issue of Tiger Beat. The deciding factor will be if Tarantino tries to scrape together a posthumous performance from Jonathan Brandis.

Jul 9 2008 Brad Pitt's Name Heard in Vague Relation to 'Inglorious Bastards'

Childcare specialist Brad Pitt may have a role in Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards. Hollywood Reporter just brought the news that Tarantino will be re-teaming with the Weinsteins to shoot his Dirty Dozen-inspired WWII tale, and though no cast is yet locked, Pitt's name has reportedly "surfaced." That's Hollywood trade talk for, "No one will read this boring article about financing unless we add something juicy. Is Brad Pitt still popular? Put his name in there, but only incredibly vaguely hint that he's in the cast so that we can later deny everything."

Meanwhile, I hear Clooney's name is also "loitering in the proximity" of the casting sheet, and that Matt Damon's name "drifted past in a fine vapor," while Shia LaBeouf's name was "heard as ghostly echo with no discernible source."

Quentin Tarantino preps 'Bastards' [Hollywood Reporter]

Jul 8 2008 'Tropic Thunder' International Trailer, for the Fart-Loving Foreigners

It still feels like watching an extended MTV Awards sketch to me--largely because the last MTV Awards sketches were just extended commercials for this movie--but there is a new international trailer for Tropic Thunder. If there was any question whether Ben Stiller's latest would be a biting satire or just a collection of fart jokes, let me point out that this trailer literally contains a fart delivered as a joke. I'm not saying the film will necessarily consist entirely of fart jokes, but I'm the kind of guy who finds some mold on his bread and throws away the whole loaf. By which I mean I'll wait until this sweeps the MTV Movie Awards before I'll bother with it.

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Jun 26 2008 Baroness Will Have Larger-Than-Expected Boobs

If you decide to give in to masochistic curiosity and pay to put a hit on your childhood nostalgia (by which I mean buy a ticket to G.I. Joe), a few questions will likely pass through your head before you're able to successfully slit your wrists with your seat's cupholder. "Why have I done this? Is Step Up really still talking? Are those really Sienna Miller's boobs, because I remember them being smaller when I looked at all those naked pictures of her?"

You may never get answers to the first two unless an usher can quickly fashion a tourniquet from a popcorn bucket, but I can help you with the last: No. No they aren't.

In an interview, the Baroness-playing actress revealed she had to wear breast enhancers for the role because director Stephen Sommers apparently has this really strange, unique fetish that causes him to prefer large boobs over smaller boobs. Weird, right? From the SF Gate:

She says, "(I wear a) tight black leather outfit. And much bigger boobs.

"They gave me these things that looked like chicken fillets. The director said, 'I'm gonna be honest, I like girls with big boobs,' and I don't have them so we made them bigger."

I don't know why the presence of bust enhancers would come as a surprise. We already saw that Scarlett is wearing them as armor.

Jun 25 2008 More 'G.I. Joe' Banners, Important Parts Marked in Red

It looks like the color scheme for G.I. Joe banner campaign is officially "black & white, with a dab of red drawing the eye to the least significant thing possible." These are the second and third posters (after this one!) highlighting a small feature on a weapon, and I'm starting to worry these details are being focused on because they're the best parts of the movie. G.I. Joe's goal is get a critic to say, "A ludicrous plot, wooden acting, and insane dialogue couldn't detract from the highly-detailed knobs, switches, and stripes adorning most of the weaponry. B-"

'G.I. Joe' Banners [Film 1]

Jun 23 2008 'G.I. Joe' Has a Subtitle, Cretinous Billboard

A billboard showing off G.I. Joe's new subtitle, Rise of the Cobra, has turned up at Cinema EXPO in Amsterdam (Woo! Amsterdam! Party!). If there was any lingering doubt that this is going to be the action figure-based movie equivalent of Schindler's List, allow me to direct your eyes to the poignant use of a single red element in the otherwise black & white image. Plus/minus gun knob is clearly the next girl in the red coat.

Poster: G.I. Joe - Rise of Cobra [Film 1]

Jun 17 2008 'Gears of War' Movie Gets Director, Chance of Being Marginally Better Than 'Doom'

Hey, do you like something in one medium? Would you like to see a worse version of it in another medium? Good news! That will inevitably happen! The latest victim of this unfortunate reality? Gears of War--a third-person shooting game I understand to be pretty great--which will soon be turned into a movie directed by the man who made Live Free or Die Hard surprisingly entertaining for also being incredibly stupid, Len Wiseman. From the Hollywood Reporter:

New Line is putting "Gears of War" in motion, setting Len Wiseman to direct the video game adaptation being produced by Temple Hill's Marty Bowen and Wyck Godfrey.

Chris Morgan, who wrote the upcoming Universal tentpoles "Wanted" and "The Fast and the Furious 4," has been hired to write the screenplay. Wiseman and Morgan will develop the story treatment.

Well, as long as the writer of Fast and the Furious 4: 4aster 4 4uriouser is on the job, I don't think any fans of Gears of War need to worry. I'm certain the plot that "thrusts players into a battle for survival between humans and a race of creatures that surface from the bowels of the planet known as the Locust Horde" will be treated with the subdued dignity it deserves.