Nov 20 2009 So Many People Are Doing the Acting in 'Thor'
So many people are doing the acting in Thor! Some people joined the cast a few days ago; one just joined today. Let's finally get to filling them all in in our Thor scrapbook, OK?
Firstly, the Heat Vision blog is reporting that Idris Elba--who you may remember from The Wire, The Office, and the ridiculous Beyonce-fights-a-stalker film Obsessed--will be playing Heimdall, another mythological Norse character called "whitest of the gods." Which is funny. Because Idris Elba is black. Not white.
Variety, meanwhile, has news that Stuart Townsend (Charlize Theron's husband), Ray Stevenson (the Punisher that wasn't Thomas Jane) and Tadanobu Asano (Ichi the Killer) will be playing the Warriors Three, Marvel-created Asgardian gods who form a classic trinity of fat guy, Errol Flynn-esque guy, and Genghis Khan-looking guy.
To those thinking this is weird because black guys and Asian guys don't belong in the world of Norse mythology... well, you're probably technically right, but you're still assigned ten minutes in the racist penalty box.
Dec 5 2008 Just in Time: Final 'Punisher' Poster
Just in time for Punisher: War Zone's release today, Lionsgate has managed to squeeze one more poster out of their expansive photo collection of Ray Stevenson holding guns. Even as the second Death Star explodes behind him, he does not stop discharging guns. Just as he will never stop discharging guns, no matter how many famous explosions explode behind him. That is his oath. He is the Punisher.
Punisher: War Zone Poster [IMPA]
Oct 8 2008 Punisher Loves Weapon-Based Homemade Craft Projects
Whups, sorry for the sudden post absence over the last 24 hours. I've had some cyber-issues I had to resolve, which I resolved by hoping things would start working again until they did (thus far). I'll try to catch up.
Anyway, from IGN, here's a new poster for Punisher: War Zone. It's Punisher--holding guns! And he's circumscribed by more guns! I know the character's only distinguishing characteristics are a skull logo and gun enthusiasm, but man, this makes him seem like the Scrooge McDuck of projectile weaponry.
Jul 25 2008 'Punisher: War Zone' Red-Band Trailer Goes for Sort of a 'Grindhouse but Retarded' Look
Who would have thought Beer for My Horses would prove itself the better vigilante justice movie of the year? I watch probably a dozen shitty trailers every week, but this is the first time I've ever felt actual embarrassment for everyone involved, including myself for watching (and, even worse, listening). How do you make a movie seem like a straight-to-DVD version of itself, probably called The Disciplinarian? Answer below the cut.
Jun 26 2008 'Punisher: War Zone' Posters From That Awesome Punisher-Themed Party You Weren't Invited To
Tuesday night, Punisher: War Zone producer Gale Anne Hurd hosted a party for star Ray Stevenson, a celebration to reminds him that, no matter what he may do in the future, he will forever be associated with what is most likely a very bad movie. To help permanently infuse this truism into Stevenson's consciousness, posters of him in a goofy Punisher get-up were plastered around the event. Someone took pictures, and one more is below the cut (via Coming Soon).
As a side note, I forgot that Wayne Knight is in this. If he somehow has a scene in which he recreates the "We've got Dodgson here!" scene from Jurassic Park, replacing "Dodgson" with "Punisher," I will take back everything bad I've said.
Jun 13 2008 'Punisher: War Zone' Trailer
I have to say, it looks like Punisher: War Zone has rectified most of the problems that burdened the last attempt at a Punisher movie. They've removed the John Travolta factor (replacing him with McNulty from The Wire), replaced the good looks of Thomas Jane with the dead, crazy eyes of Ray Stevenson, transported the action to the world of a really awesome Nerf gun commercial, and added several instances of arms-out spinning and shooting--like when you'd hold down L and R in the overhead levels of Contra III. Now it's just common sense and every other element keeping me from wanting to see this! (Thanks to Brad for the tip.)
Jul 23 2007 Pulow to Play Punisher, Punisher Greenlighters Go Unpunished
A listful Stevenson had hoped to one day be famous enough for this to be considered career suicide
The internets are now reporting that Thomas Jane's replacement in Punisher 2 will be Ray Stevenson, better known as Titus Pulow from Rome. I have to admit, this is probably the best casting since Forrest Whitaker as Idi Amin or Morgan Freeman as Mandela. Titus Pulow was the only character on Rome arguably more gangsta than Marc Antony.
Still, Punisher 2? Really? Couldn't we just have a Rome movie instead? They've already made two horrible Punisher movies, they shouldn't get another chance. Even Taco Bell fires you after you make your second or third Puberrito (and no, Mrs. Lindeleaf, I'm not sorry. Now who's 'acting inappropriate'? Bitch.).
